Prostate Cancer Incontinence: What products do you use? Tips?

This is what is so helpful about this blog. People can share their experiences and we can learn from each other, not feel intimidated and know you are not alone in your challenges. So sorry about passing of your wife.🙏

As we age, our bladders get smaller. That is likely one issue. Another is "gravity". He has no issues at night because he is laying down, horizontal in bed...therefore, no gravity weighing down on the bladder inducing it to leak as happens in wakeful hours when he is standing or sitting. Another thing is that without knowing it or monitoring it, he may have increased his liquid intake. Maybe he is eating more salty food that causes retention and more eventual output. Lastly, he may be "overdoing" the Kegel exercises. I had Pelvic Floor Physical Therapy (PFPT) starting about 3 - 4 months post-op (radical prostatectomy). I experienced some discomfort and pain in that area, and my physical therapist said I was "overdoing it." The muscles, while important, are actually rather small...it is easy to over-work them in our zeal to do Kegel's. You'll know it if he mentions any pain or discomfort. The Pelvic Floor muscles are just like any muscle: if you over-work it, it aches/hurts for a few days or perpetually, depending on the frequency of exercise. Lastly...it may just be a symptom of aging. A lot of men and women have incontinence issues the older they get. At age 77, perhaps his are starting, and maybe amplified by his prior surgery. Remember, when the prostate is removed, the strongest, most important urinary sphincter that controls retention is also removed with the prostate, seminal vesicles, and vas deferens. We are left with only one sphincter, and it is the weaker one that has to be trained to be the first and only defender of urinary continence. Good luck.

@ch665296f Sorry to hear about your wife. 🙁
As for traveling, I totally agree, I'm 100% incontinent since surgery 2 years ago and not real able to go on a said "vacation." I'm going to meet with the doctor for AUS in a few months. Best of luck to you sir!!!

Doug

I had my prostatectomy over 7 years ago. I have had control issues most of my life, I'm 78. In addition , I have also developed heart failure, sever lumbar stenosis, and periferal neuropathy resulting in neurogenic bladder. As a result I wear tape on diapers during the day, and old fashioned pin on cloth diapers at night. It takes some getting use to, but it is what it is. I try to maintain as active a life as possible. I don't travel as much as I use to, but since my wife passed suddenly three years ago, traveling would not be nearly as much fun. Probably a little over sharing here. Just one of those days, I guess.

I leak a few drops every now and then daily and don't worry about it. Used pads for awhile but found them irritating due to running while sports officiating. Also found I need to be careful about sitting on the edge of something hard. Seems it moves the bladder neck like a Kool Whip nozzle. We need to learn and make the "new me" adjustments. I found that does away with the shame aspect of the whole thing. Black shorts and pants don't show anything and sports underwear such as Under Armour allow fluids to evaporate and don't hold fluid and smell like cotton does. A few guys will no longer leave home if they leak even a little while wearing a pad. I got treated so that I can continue to live the best life possible. IBRT and ADT changed me.

Hi At 71 years of age and recently retired I really appreciate this comment. I had prostatectomy 3 mos ago and am recovering well, thanks to groups like this to vent......Yes I have underwear with pad to cover but my best success is a jock strap with incontinence pad. It looks normal but absorbs when necessary. Yes I carry an extra pad but for the most part I look normal with no suggestion I have incontinence issues What has worked best for most of you?

@vcsurvivor59
Ancan.Org holds weekly meetings for advanced prostate cancer people. I’ve attended them for about four years. They also hold them for low and intermediate twice a month and for active surveillance weekly. They have people that have been giving assistance for over 15 years to people with all different levels of prostate cancer, They can answer your questions if you haven’t found answers elsewhere. If you a new to one of the meetings they work with you first.

They also have a meetings for caregivers, veterans to help with care options, and speaking freely meetings for men with many cancers, that discuss everything but treatment. Also have speaking freely for veterans. There’s more meetings besides that.

The Reluctant Brotherhood holds a number of different meetings every week. They have general prostate cancer meetings and advanced prostate cancer meetings twice a month. They also help answer questions people have.

I bought those same underwear as it's much easier and cheaper to wash them. But I worry too when they get full, the material gets wet and there is nothing between them and what I am wearing for pants or shorts. I have the cup liners and a variety of Depends and similar ones which I am wearing at night or if I have to be away from home for more than an hour or two. It is beyond embarrassing knowing I am wearing these things, but for the most part, they have done what they are supposed to do and I am the only one that knows I have them on. I am looking forward to being one of those men who will look back at this time and remember when I had to wear them because I no longer need to.

I have also found an incredible prostate recovery group for men. It's a national zoom meeting that gets together a few times a week to talk openly about what we are all going through. I am glad to share the information if you are interested. They are a non-profit group and have helped me with a safe space to share.

@vcsurvivor59 Hey Vcsurvivor59. Let me encourage you,,,8 weeks out I was still leaking like a sieve...Yes I'm doing Kegel's too and shows some benefit but yeah, a sneeze, cough, deep breath causes me to leak....A jock strap with pad absorbed most of it until I could replace later...Allowed me to appear normal without huge diaper bulge. For me, I'm still learning but so far best relief in deciding when to drink fluids and when NOT to drink fluids before bed.....Keep sharing what works for you...it helps all of us on this journey.....

I really appreciate the comments and perspective from the guys on this site. None of us asked to be here and we individually have to decide what is in our best interest now and long term......I have a few close medical friends who work as medical advanced nurse practitioners at a level 1 trauma center near me, say keep getting information from others on your journey... Thanks @sandguy for your comments. Not sure what works for everyone but for me I try to cut back on sugar and drinks late at night, esp cocktails, lol ....Ending drinks by say 8 p.m. and hitting the bathroom before bed, I find I am able to sleep 6-8 hours without interruption....It's not perfect but I am choosing to follow a pattern that has shown me I can get several hours of sleep overnight if I make a few adjustments to my schedule... also, silly question, I bought incontinence underwear with built in pads, but it was very annoying trying to make sure it was fully absorbing excess urine.....Honestly, I switched to jock strap with 1/2 pad holding everything tight until I changed pads as needed.....At first I used a whole pad but was pretty thick up front when walking around.. I found 1/2 pad in jock strap (with place for a pad up front) gave me the protection I needed, but didn't look like I was wearing a diaper in my underwear......Just wondering what has worked for other guys, wanting the assurance hiding leaks, but also not advertising you are hiding leaks.....thoughts, experiences?