Post treatment depression

Posted by zzonner @zzonner, Dec 23, 2023

Good morning warriors. Things have gone extremely well for me through the treatment, and for that I truly feel blessed. I am 5 months post op and my CT scan shows I am cancer free. I am 4 months into Immunotherapy which is also proving to be uneventful. Other than some fatigue, which may be because I just turned 70, I feel wonderful. I have never been one to experience depression so I am not quite sure what wrong with my mental state. I have been reading up on post treatment depression and think it may be worth exploring. My family and I have been 100% focused on fighting this battle daily, for 10 months and now that things have slowed down, I feel a void. My surgeon says to just focus on living my life but that seems overly simplistic. Has anyone else experienced this after void? I am thinking of getting some books or perhaps seek therapy but have always been one to solve my own problems. It's not overwhelming, just plain irritating. I don't want to sound ungrateful for my situation but want to get on with things. Thanks.

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Amen. I don’t expect any issues…but I didn’t expect any in 2020. I Ecclesiastes 12:13 sums it up succintly. “Fear God and keep his commandments”. If one does that one won’t worry about death anymore.

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@davidwrenn

Henry, you have the right attitude. I am on a similar path as you. I'm a 4+ year survivor of stage 4 squamous cell esophageal carcinoma.

We've walked throught the valley of the shadow of death and have emerged a bit bloodied but unbowed. Give thanks to your medical team and your creator for the blessings they've bestowed upon you.

You have the right attitude. You embraced the "suck" and owned your disease, you haven't allow it to own you. You are making the most of the extra time granted to you. You have embraced two of the fundamental tenets of Stoicism, namely, memento mori (remember we all die) and as that is inescapable, amor fati (love your fate). You realize that much of life is beyond our control. Spending your remaining time worrying about your woes of today only steals from the promise of tomorrow.

I hope you continue to be well and that your upcoming scans show NED. Be strong and carry on.

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Thank you. I wish the same to you. Attitude is important and so is faith. Reading the John Piper essay completely changed my attitude from suck to win. Everyone diagnosed with cancer should read it.

Shared files

Cancer - dont waste your cancer - Piper (Cancer-dont-waste-your-cancer-Piper.pdf)

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I really have no idea how to say what I’m going through after my treatments. It’s been 3 months since my last treatment and I’m feeling totally lost. It didn’t help that halfway through my treatments my support system(my wife) stopped being around me. She says it was because she didn’t know what to do to help me. And now that I’m in recovery it feels like she’s even farther away from me emotionally and physically. Am I in the wrong to feel this way? I watch her pour all of her attention into our dog and wish I could just get a little of that towards me. This is really making me feel alone and I don’t know how to help her see how I’m feeling without pushing her further away. It’s hard enough dealing with the fatigue and the stress of not being able to work like I used to prior to treatment so any help to help me understand would be appreciated.

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@rontucker

I really have no idea how to say what I’m going through after my treatments. It’s been 3 months since my last treatment and I’m feeling totally lost. It didn’t help that halfway through my treatments my support system(my wife) stopped being around me. She says it was because she didn’t know what to do to help me. And now that I’m in recovery it feels like she’s even farther away from me emotionally and physically. Am I in the wrong to feel this way? I watch her pour all of her attention into our dog and wish I could just get a little of that towards me. This is really making me feel alone and I don’t know how to help her see how I’m feeling without pushing her further away. It’s hard enough dealing with the fatigue and the stress of not being able to work like I used to prior to treatment so any help to help me understand would be appreciated.

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Welcome to Connect @rontucker. That time period when treatment stops and we are just waiting and trying to get back to "normal" is a very tough time. When I was at that point in my treatment at Mayo Clinic, my medical team offered consultation with psychologists who specialize in dealing with cancer patients. That can be a very valuable asset to your recovery. As to caregiver burnout, I firmly believe that caregivers have a tougher road to travel than the patients. I have been in both positions to come to that conclusion. It is so hard to see your loved one suffering and feeling unable to do much to help. Here again, professional counseling can be a life saver. Do you think you could ask your wife to participate in some counseling sessions with you? Your oncology team should have some suggestions or offer a referral. Stay strong. It gets better.

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@rontucker

I really have no idea how to say what I’m going through after my treatments. It’s been 3 months since my last treatment and I’m feeling totally lost. It didn’t help that halfway through my treatments my support system(my wife) stopped being around me. She says it was because she didn’t know what to do to help me. And now that I’m in recovery it feels like she’s even farther away from me emotionally and physically. Am I in the wrong to feel this way? I watch her pour all of her attention into our dog and wish I could just get a little of that towards me. This is really making me feel alone and I don’t know how to help her see how I’m feeling without pushing her further away. It’s hard enough dealing with the fatigue and the stress of not being able to work like I used to prior to treatment so any help to help me understand would be appreciated.

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Yup... you have every right to feel depressed... we all do. We have EC... so that's already a shtty hand to be dealt. And then going thru treatments... the surgery... maybe more treatments... knowing our potential outcomes. Yup, it's tough for sure. And our loved ones... They're just as sick as us because they're at a loss as to what they can do for us... they often feel helpless. So... flip the script. You console her... show her you are understanding of what she's going thru... that oughta shock her!!

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I wanted to thank the people for their response to my comment above it has helped my understanding of things

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Has anyone had trouble sleeping during and after treatments? I haven’t slept more than 2hrs at a time in the past 5 months and was curious if it’s a normal side effect for most cancer patients. I’ve tried melatonin,NyQuil and THC eatibles and nothing has helped so other advice would be greatly appreciated. I think if I could get some quality sleep time in it would greatly help my recovery.

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@rontucker

Has anyone had trouble sleeping during and after treatments? I haven’t slept more than 2hrs at a time in the past 5 months and was curious if it’s a normal side effect for most cancer patients. I’ve tried melatonin,NyQuil and THC eatibles and nothing has helped so other advice would be greatly appreciated. I think if I could get some quality sleep time in it would greatly help my recovery.

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Hi ron tucker, I went thru what you are going thru 4 years ago in 2020. It was very hard on my wife. Your wife is probably fearful and does not know where to turn. My Christian faith during that time was priceless. Chemo would get me all hopped up with the steroid they put in the mixture and I would literally walk for miles to get tired enough to go to sleep. THC of the indica family is great for sleep, but some edibles are so weak you might as well take an aspirin. Try eating a little more than what they tell you and Indica is what you want.I also take one 10mg valium 1/2 hour before bed. Exercis daily if you are able. Activity helps get your mind off of your ec. You will get better but it takes longer than what you might think. It took me a good 2 years to adapt and eat right and I still blow it periodically. Try not to eat anything for 2 or 3 hours before bed so there is nothing in your stomach. I finally reached my pre-surgery weight and I am stronger and fitter than I was at age 45. I am 70 now. Hopefully, you will be, too. Cheers and prayers being sent your way for a successful recovery. (The pic I sent was taken today. We bought 2 Widescapes to make us get outside more.). There really is life after cancer.

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@henrysilverio12

Hi ron tucker, I went thru what you are going thru 4 years ago in 2020. It was very hard on my wife. Your wife is probably fearful and does not know where to turn. My Christian faith during that time was priceless. Chemo would get me all hopped up with the steroid they put in the mixture and I would literally walk for miles to get tired enough to go to sleep. THC of the indica family is great for sleep, but some edibles are so weak you might as well take an aspirin. Try eating a little more than what they tell you and Indica is what you want.I also take one 10mg valium 1/2 hour before bed. Exercis daily if you are able. Activity helps get your mind off of your ec. You will get better but it takes longer than what you might think. It took me a good 2 years to adapt and eat right and I still blow it periodically. Try not to eat anything for 2 or 3 hours before bed so there is nothing in your stomach. I finally reached my pre-surgery weight and I am stronger and fitter than I was at age 45. I am 70 now. Hopefully, you will be, too. Cheers and prayers being sent your way for a successful recovery. (The pic I sent was taken today. We bought 2 Widescapes to make us get outside more.). There really is life after cancer.

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What is THC of the indica family and where can I find it? Thank you for responding and your helpful words of encouragement

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There are two strains of marijuana; sativa and indica. Sativa is known for its euphoric, energetic “high”. Indica is grown all over now but used to be grown in hawaii, afghanistan, nepal, and many others. The indica is “heavier” and most people fall asleep when they use it. In Montana that is not a problem. Depending on your state if might be illegal.

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