PN & Phantom Youth: You, too?

It happened again yesterday. I’d driven across town to have coffee with a friend. My handicap tag allows me to park in a designated spot in the rear of the coffee shop, leaving only a short distance to manage on foot from my Jeep to the shop’s front door; nonetheless, I struggled, on guard the whole way. My friend and I sat at a quiet table and enjoyed our usual one-hour chat. Still seated, but knowing that the time was approaching for us to go, I began to focus on my legs, letting them silently know they’d soon have to carry me back to my Jeep. Focused as I was on my legs, I began to fantasize that my legs were in great shape: no PN, no wobbliness, no weakness; that when I rose to go, I’d find that my legs were in great shape: 100% A-Okay, and that if I wanted to, I could skip to my Jeep. Crazy! Of course, when I rose, my PN was right there, waiting for me, causing me to struggle between shop and Jeep once again. Does this happen to you, these moments of phantom youth, when for fleeting minutes or seconds you imagine yourself as you once were, able to do most anything – shop without having to cling to a shopping cart, descend a handrail-less staircase without fear, follow a mountain trail while admiring the view and not wishing you’d played it safe and stayed back at the cabin? I have these moments of phantom youth. They used to make me blue. Now I just smile and get on with my day.