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PN & Confidence: Is there a connection?
I had an interesting phone conversation last evening with a fellow PN sufferer. His name's Frank. Frank and his wife, Elaine, are dancers. Frank has been diagnosed with the same PN that I've got: large-fiber, so no pain, but increasingly bad balance. Frank has had to quit performing; he's teaching instead. As two guys with PN do, we spent a chunk of time talking about the "usual": Have you found a doctor you like? What supplements do you take? Have you found a pair of shoes that help? Etc. Then Frank asked something that surprised me: "Has your PN affected your self-confidence?" My self-confidence? I asked him what he meant. He explained that a dancer's self-confidence, especially in performance, arises from good balance: the better a dancer's balance, the more self-confidence a dancer has. That got me wondering. Has my poor balance affected my self-confidence? Am I less sure of myself when I'm in public or with people, especially strangers. I used to be pretty self-confident, not cocky, just at ease. Am I less at ease now that I'm wobbly moving about –– the way I was earlier yesterday when a friend treated me to lunch at iHop and I had to wobble my way all the way to a back booth in a busy restaurant. I remember feeling not at ease but ILL at ease. This morning, I'm still wondering if my PN has impacted my self-confidence, and if so, to what degree. I'm wondering, too, if any of you have found that your PN has lessened your self-confidence. Under what circumstances? Have you developed techniques for counter-acting it? I'm thinking this might make for an interesting conversation.
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Thanks @julbpat, I actually have a set of trekking poles but usually only take them out when I'm going for a long walk. Also have one of these nifty canes but don't take it out much but like the upside for self defense/offense 🙃 https://www.amazon.com/Brazos-Natural-Hardwood-Handcrafted-Walking/dp/B00HVJ3FM8
Hi, @julbpat
A cane can be quite stylish, too. If, as people are approaching, you give them a look that says, "Oh, the cane? I don't really need a cane." You have to be careful, however, not to loss your balance and fall on your tush right after giving them the look. 🙂
Cheers!
Ray (@ray666)
I still say a cane has a stigma, announcing “I have issues”. But a trekking pole - it looks like you just came from your daily hike, and just happen to still have it in your hand. All the cool people hike!!!
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1 ReactionThese thoughtful comments about PN, aging, and self-confidence ccrtainly ring a bell with me. I was supposed to take a flight from LA to NYC this week. I'd planned a six-day stay to get together with my brother, my sister and a couple of friends. Ultimately, I didn't want to face potential craziness at the airports. But I also knew that I couldn't carry my collapsible, packed hiking poles on board the plane. They'd have to be stowed. Would they even wind up on my flight? What if I got to JFK but my poles went on to London? All this is irrational, especially considering that I could easily have bought another pair of poles in New York--and it's not like I use them all the time here in California! I walked five miles without them the other day and managed to stay upright and not veer off the path and into the ocean! But it speaks to your point about occasionally ebbing self-confidence. Next week, the ankle brace I reluctantly ordered finally comes in. I want more than ever not to wear it, but, after a couple of years of PT and exercises, my foot drop is still with me. Haven't fallen lately (well, once, a couple of months ago). My podiatrist said I should think of the brace as something I can save for walking cobbled streets in Europe. Anyway, enough rambling. Ray, I'm so sorry you lost your partner. Thanks for continuing to contribute so thoughtfully to this forum.
Thank you, @chawk, for kind words. You and I appear to be of one mind. We're both determined to make a go of it. Not a day goes by without my wondering if I'm experiencing a worsening of my balance. Each day has its moments. Yesterday, I drove to my bank to deposit a check. I found a handicap spot, but directly in front of my Jeep was a full-height curb––albeit painted red––and I thought, 'Oh, problem!' I didn't fall, but I had one of those 'Uh-oh, catch yourself' moments. Waiting on line in the bank, I was silently juggling thoughts: 'Did I nearly stumble because I wasn't paying attention?' or 'Were my progressive lenses giving me a false depth perception?' or 'Is my balance simply getting worse?' That was yesterday's 'Uh-oh" moment. I haven't had one yet today, but I'll not be surprised if I do. 🙂
Cheers!
Ray (@ray666)
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