No support, abusive relationship: Where to get cancer treatment safely

@nikki6, being diagnosed with cancer is hard enough. Yes, you need to get away from the abusive relationship to get treatment, care and for a successful recovery. Most cancer centers and hospitals have social workers available for cancer patients. Read more here:
- How an Oncology Social Worker Can Help https://connect.mayoclinic.org/blog/cancer-education-center/newsfeed-post/how-an-oncology-social-worker-can-help/

You can also get help from National Domestic Violence Hotline website http://www.thehotline.org/ On this website you will find a phone number to call 1-800-799-7233 or you can use the online chat and get help without saying a word. By calling the Hotline, you can work with trained counsellors to find safety and a solution that is right for you.

I'm also tagging @kmlnj, who went through thyroid cancer, treatment and recovery on her own. She may be able to share more about what you can expect.

Nikki, first thing is to get you in a place where you can be safe. Are you being seen at a cancer center? Can you ask to talk to a social worker?

I am so sorry you are faced with this. It is best if you seek counseling that supports women in abusive relationships. You need to be emotionally and physically safe to go through this treatment.

The treatment for thyroid cancer varies. The two most typical are: radioactive iodine ( need support for a few weeks ) and second, radiation and chemotherapy (often 7 weeks ).
Radiation and chemotherapy is usually for cancer that has progressed outside the thyroid and it is done after surgery.
You have a process ahead of you that you must be emotionally strong for. I hope you live in an area with a cancer center and a good head/neck medical team. Having trust in your medical team is very important as you go through this process. Peace.

@nikki6 I understand the fear that comes with a diagnosis of cancer. While my journey through cancer is different than yours - mine was a diagnosis of endometrial cancer in 2019 - I do remember the emotional shock I felt when my doctor called me. When I went to see my doctor the day I received the diagnosis I made a wrong turn in my car on the way home along a very familiar route. When I realized what I'd done it took me some time to "wake up" and figure out how to get back on the correct route.

You've received excellent advice from @colleenyoung and @kmlnj. You will need emotional and perhaps physical support to get yourself through this process. I am a mental health professional and worked for many years with domestic violence survivors. The staff at women's shelters are strong advocates and so I hope you will call there. Whether or not you choose to live at a women's shelter or with family or friends the women's shelter advocate and counselors can support you. Please don't go the route of believing you can do this on your own. My experience, the experiences of others here at Mayo Clinic Connect and the research tells us that patients with cancer do better overall when they have emotional and physical support.

I wish you a good life forward. You came here to Mayo Clinic Connect. That's a first step.

Will you ask to speak with the oncology social worker as @colleenyoung recommended? And call the Women's Shelter and/or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233?

Thank you for your information. I take it to heart.

I have my first appointment May 30th. Im assuming to go over what's the next step conversation. I haven't been to a cancer center yet and not sure were the closest one is to me. I live in such a rural area. I live right on the Alabama Florida state line. My primary physician is 30 miles away in Crestview, FL.

Honestly I did not expect anyone to comment when I made my post. I figured my words would be overlooked and not a second thought. So I am so very grateful for everyone's response, helpful resources, and kind words. It makes me feel like my life matters.

@nikki6 We are a very interactive and supportive group here on Mayo Clinic Connect. Your life does matter and we are here to support you.

I live in a rural area of Michigan. You may decide you want to go to a comprehensive cancer center after your conversation with your primary care physician. There are cancer centers in Florida and Alabama. I live 450 miles away from Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN and that's where I went for my care. Mayo Clinic is part of this comprehensive network. Here is where you will find a cancer center where your physician can make a referral

National Cancer Institute-Designated Cancer Centers:

-- https://www.cancer.gov/research/infrastructure/cancer-centers/find

Will you let me know what else I can help you with?

@nikki6
I’m sorry to hear.

Do you have to have your full thyroid removed? Do you know if you need to have radiation or chemotherapy after surgery?

Do you have any family or friends you could stay with that are close to the hospital where you need surgery/facility you need radiation/chemo?

My sister had thyroid cancer and her thyroid removed when she was 27. I had a suspicious nodule in my right lobe removed. I didn’t need radiation or chemotherapy after because it was benign and only found a micro cancer.

Do you know for sure your nodules in your thyroid are cancerous? Did they do fine needle aspiration and cytology/molecular testing?

No matter what, you need to find a place you can go to escape the abusive relationship. There are places you can go that are safe. Look up domestic violence shelters in your area and call asap. You deserve better and you cannot change the violent person. No matter what they say, they won’t change and you do not need to subject yourself to violence and abuse.