New stage 4 diagnosis for my wife

Hi um2025,

Always sad to hear that you are now on the path with so many more of us. Sadly, been there done that.

What stage of cancer has your wife been diagnosed with? It will help with everyone’s inputs and replies.

Thx

Dennis

Hello uni2025!
Difficult news, of course, and so young. The truth is the outlook may be more hopeful than you expected; at least in regards to time. I got my news in 2022 after I had just turned 65. I retired after 30 years from a great job and was subcontracting as an environmental consultant working my best job at a site where we had endangered species, rattlesnakes, mountain lions, badgers and very high slopes to drive my SUV through. I was at the peak of my career financially, as well, and enjoying my life. Like your wife, I acted quickly on the disease knowing how aggressive it was upon my father 25 years prior. I got surgery, 5FU chemo for 6 months, and after 4 months the off chemo it came back to my liver. Years ago that metastasis could have been a death sentence. I sold our home and distributed much of the proceeds to our children. There are many options now for liver mets, e.g., gem/abraxane chemo pills if you have the right mutations, targeted radiation and histotripsy. All of these are life extenders or lifelines as I like to call them. Some people can opt to have surgical resectioning on liver. You won't know the best option until you are getting taken care of at a place of
high volume in regards to pancreatic cancer, you do your research, and continue to stay active on this board which is comprised of fellow pancreatic cancer patients offering to talk about what they are doing and how they are faring with particular treatments and you will learn a lot. You must accept there is an end as well as the potential for a cure - not an easy task. Keep a journal on the process of this disease. Try, try to get some excerise like walking on a regular basis as it will help with digestion, your heart, and your emotional well being. Eat foods that are not processed. You and your wife are not helpless. You are in charge of this informidable disease, but you must fight like crazy. Faith helps me a bit. Reach out to friends for your support group. Many people are unexpectedly, unprepared, etc. before they pass, in general. We have been given a gift to possibly say goodbye over a long period of time. Create a bucket list of things you would want to do. Mine included going to Sammy Hagar's beachside restaurant, go to an 80's concert, going to Denny's etc. do whatever you and your wife would like. Try to eat whatever you can and she likes even if it's just frozen yogurt, homemade cookies, etc., and best wishes in this journey.

Thank you for the words of encouragement.. we certainly have been on a massive rollercoaster these past 3 weeks.
We are such planners and this has definitely thrown a wrench into that activity. I like all of your ideas, coaxing her into eating is the biggest challenge right now. We are lucky enough to have gotten into a clinical trial for early stage 4 and it gives us hope. The MD’s really do have talent beyond measure and are the nurses and the team are so very responsive..
Every two weeks to Mayo.. thank you so much for your notes..

Itwould likely help if she took a stool softener tablet every time she takes an oxy. Then another 4 hrs. later.

Hello @uni2025

May I ask what clinical trial your wife has got into, and which Mayo location? I'm trying to get into a clinical trial as my oncologists recommend it, but not easy to find.

Thank you!

Happy 4th - yes, requires Rochester Mayo and the trial is photodynamic priming to facilitate immunologic activity of anti-PD1. I believe it is typically for first rounds of treatment.

… Suggestions for calories that are easy to digest? …

uni2025,
Sorry you have to deal with this at such a young age.
Food is her medicine.
Wife had difficulty eating and maintaining weight during Chemo, low was 93#s. Also needed Creon which added to the excitement.
Tried to maximize calories and protein in the limited volume she could eat.
Experimented with Boost Very High Calorie, Kate Farms and finally preferred Soylent nutrition drinks, ~320 - 400 calories, very good and in many flavors which helped.
Added MASS GAINER vanilla powder by Transparent Labs to get ~375+ more calories and protein and immersion blend.
Also used BeneCalorie by Nestle to add ~330 calories and protein to yogurt or almost anything she can tolerate.
Wife currently has a “J” feeding tube, since Whipple surgery, and it has made life so much better and removed the daily stress of trying to get calories/food in orally.
Try to maintain a positive attitude.
God bless and good luck.

Thank you - we’ll try it

I am so sorry for you and your wife. I absolutely understand what you and she are going through.

The grief and sadness for what might have been ate us up for a few weeks.

I’m 55 and was diagnosed about 6 weeks ago. I don’t start chemo until next week so that is great you got going so quickly, anyway. It never goes fast enough to the person who has it inside of them.

The main thing my wife and I have focused on is our relationship. Time is the most important we have left. I may not get to enjoy it like I thought I would, but I still want to enjoy it when I can.

Stop doing stuff that isn’t what you are passionate about. Do what gives meaning to you and your wife, if you can.

I have not lost hope. I’m just accepting of the fact that my old plans are not going to unfold like I thought.

I plan to be one of the ones who lives with this cancer for a long time.

My heart aches for you two. May God help ease you and your wife’s pain.

We have come to the same conclusions … thank you..