my thoughts as i am dying 89

Posted by jdiakiw @jdiakiw, Apr 24 8:12am

I’m dying now
but lo, It really hurts.
I stand and my heart stops.
I seem to levitate in reverie,
twice removed from death

but lo, I’m dying now.
It really hurts.

Not body pain
but psychic pain
The pain of saying goodbye.
Of knowing this joyous feeling,
these memories end
with the flick of a light switch
My friend says,
"do not go gentle into that good night "
I fume I rage.

It really hurts,
“old age shall burn and rave at close of day."
All my memories will be no more than stardust.

I leave all the gifts
I have been bequeathed:
born fee,
in a land free of war,
free of catastrophic natural disasters:
of earthquakes fire, flood, and pestilence.
memories of family
Lost in reverie .
How blessed we have been.

"rage, rage, against the dying of the light"
( Thomas)

I hurt, I rage, I love ,
all these memories are mine
and they will vaporize--
one page of memories,
my history,
will be torn from the tree of life .

yet it is only these memories that buoy me now, against the hurt.
what a gift it is to teach
to raise a family
to travel the world
to leap joyously
into any new adventure.
I'll miss all that ...
it just ends,
and the book is closed,
that hurts.

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hiroko | @hiroko | Apr 30 6:16pm

In reply to @isadora2021 "@hiroko I’m so glad you’re getting some help in each week. You’ve done amazingly well for..." + (show)

Thank you and he is a loving cat but he is getting old too.
It’s getting cold here now, so I don’t mind him staying in my room but as soon as I turned light off he goes out to living room on a sofa but not to his own bed.
Good night

isadora2021 | @isadora2021 | Apr 30 7:00pm

In reply to @hiroko "Thank you and he is a loving cat but he is getting old too. It’s getting..." + (show)

@hiroko Isadora was the name of my Siamese cat. I miss her still. She was rejected by my mother’s other cats (her sister Ming and her own baby, Salema - Sally for short). Isadora used to sleep with me when I stayed over and that became normal when she moved in with me. She was very good at lying curled up next to my waist leaving my legs free to move around, and not near my face. Perfect! Cats are such wonderful friends with minds of their own! Goodnight.

hiroko | @hiroko | Apr 30 10:51pm

Wouldn’t you like to get another ?

happilyalive | @happilyalive | May 4 9:50am

In reply to @equanimous ""Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened"" + (show)

I totally loved that quote. Thank you for sharing it.

pamtwalker | @pamtwalker | May 10 10:42am

In reply to @chrisanon "Poetic brilliance. Thank you for expressing what I feel, but cannot express." + (show)

Thank you for sharing those most personal insights in that delightful poem. I bet it made you feel better.
I cannot possibly know how you feel. I am 68 and will one day face the experience. I am exceptionally blessed with and thankful for the zillion good friends and phenomenal family who will surround me when ny time comes.