My therapist terminated our treatment

Posted by frances007 @frances007, Oct 11, 2022

I had been having teletherapy since May after my dog died this past March. Her passing brought up many issues including my health issue pertaining what may be an autoimmune disease, weight loss, the loss of people in my life I thought were my friends, who began acting strange because my appearance had drastically changed. My therapist mentioned about 3 weeks ago that she did not have experience treating people with chronic illness, however today during our last session it became clear to me that my chronic illness was not the sole factor in her terminating what I thought was a very therapeutic relationship. While I was initially saddened by her decision to terminate therapy, I found myself angry after today's final session as it was clear she was having counter transference issues. While she will refer me to someone with experience treating those with a chronic illness, I really wish she had told me sooner rather than later about her "lack" of experience. I was up front with her from the very beginning what I was facing, how afraid I was and how I felt my doctors were not being as helpful as they should or could have been in treating or discussing my condition with me. I currently have home health coming to my place for PT, nurse check ups, nutritionist and also a social worker. I discussed with the social worker what my therapist had said about her lack of experience, but that I had felt I was really gaining a lot of ground through my work with this person. While she will refer me to someone else, I wonder if I should just take a break and give myself some time to find the care I need, continue to focus on the positive and things of that nature. In all honesty, I was fairly blown away when she told me she was terminating our therapy, as I had been getting so much out of it. Our final call today was horrible to say the least, and I have a mind to call the company she works for to advise them of my experience and whether or not I want to use their services going forward. It did take a few visits to get used to teletherapy but once I became comfortable with it, the sessions were just fine.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Depression & Anxiety Support Group.

I don't what you should but I feel bad about you being terminated. I have a lot of chronic illnesses and it is tough doing everything you need to do,

REPLY

I am sorry about your experience. My current therapist is the best. She helps me a lot.
I had one before her. I really needed her and thought everything was well. She recomended another therapist to adjust my meds and when I called she didn't want me either. Sometimes, she wanted me to do things that I couldn't do. I tried but it gave me pain. I really liked my old therapist and she just blocked my phone after a few missed appointment due to my symptoms and I can't even get my records of any kind not even a summary of how much I paid her in total.
I don't recomend that you enter any kind of complaints. They are people too. May be she droped you for the right reasons. May be there were too many involved in your case. That makes it difficult to treat or coordinate. It is time consuming. May be she didn't like you. You don't want someone like that treating you. May be she needed therapy herself.
I feel the same way about my doctors, especially my primary doctor. I went to his office for many years complaining about many ailments and symptoms. He didn't tackled my complains seriously. It wasn't until this year that I was diagnosed during an emergency with conditions his office should have found out. I know he has damaged my relationship with other doctors in the system.
So, I know how you feel. There is nothing wrong with you. You have the opportunity to find another therapist that can be involve a 100%. May be this is the best thing and take it as an sn opportunity. Sometimes I wonder why Amy drop me. At least yours gave you a reason. I do reiterate, my current therapist is the best, and very involve. This is what may happen to you next. Just look forward.
Frances if you need someone to be your witness/during doctors visits, I'd be willing to do that. TN girl though.

REPLY

@frances007 You have had some excellent responses here, and I hope you can see them in the light that was given. I wonder if the therapist you just had, thought she had the education and background to help you, and gave it a fair try, but realized it was not in your best interest? Perhaps your treatment and success with her moved beyond where she felt confident to assist you?

You now have the opportunity to reestablish with someone else, who may bring even more positive results to you. We often have to switch gears, as it were, as we get healthy. Sometimes that is a change in lifestyle, or friends, or medical professionals. Take a positive spin on it, see that you have indeed gained from your time with her, and are ready to go further, so you can step with more confidence in this path. I'll wager that you will feel better about it all!

We do not always have to/need to/want to stay with the same mental health professional as we get better.
Ginger

REPLY
@507

I am sorry about your experience. My current therapist is the best. She helps me a lot.
I had one before her. I really needed her and thought everything was well. She recomended another therapist to adjust my meds and when I called she didn't want me either. Sometimes, she wanted me to do things that I couldn't do. I tried but it gave me pain. I really liked my old therapist and she just blocked my phone after a few missed appointment due to my symptoms and I can't even get my records of any kind not even a summary of how much I paid her in total.
I don't recomend that you enter any kind of complaints. They are people too. May be she droped you for the right reasons. May be there were too many involved in your case. That makes it difficult to treat or coordinate. It is time consuming. May be she didn't like you. You don't want someone like that treating you. May be she needed therapy herself.
I feel the same way about my doctors, especially my primary doctor. I went to his office for many years complaining about many ailments and symptoms. He didn't tackled my complains seriously. It wasn't until this year that I was diagnosed during an emergency with conditions his office should have found out. I know he has damaged my relationship with other doctors in the system.
So, I know how you feel. There is nothing wrong with you. You have the opportunity to find another therapist that can be involve a 100%. May be this is the best thing and take it as an sn opportunity. Sometimes I wonder why Amy drop me. At least yours gave you a reason. I do reiterate, my current therapist is the best, and very involve. This is what may happen to you next. Just look forward.
Frances if you need someone to be your witness/during doctors visits, I'd be willing to do that. TN girl though.

Jump to this post

Thank you. Yes, I will focus on the positive aspects of what I gained from our relationship. I was angered by the fact that she chose to discontinue our work when I asked her three weeks ago if she would hang in there with me in the long run. Instead of responding during our call, she chose instead to send me a message saying, "this clinician does not have experience with "end of life stage issues or those with a chronic illness." I reminded her later that I am not dying, I am sick. She was also upset that when I checked her license on the Board of Behavioral Sciences, there was a link to her LinkedIn profile where I learned she is an accomplished artist like I am. During the months we spent talking, I was always asking her why she was so private, as in the past I had never encountered a therapist who chose to keep so much of their lives private. Sometimes sharing even small things about themselves helps to build a more trusting relationship, and it was often frustrating that she chose to be as private about herself as she was, and it became obvious to me yesterday that she was perturbed that I had seen her online profile. I am laughing as I write this because I had a thought, "now she was exposed and she did not like that."

REPLY

@frances007. You probably know that mental health therapists have a variety of graduate degrees and licenses - social workers, psychologists, marriage and family counselors. All of them are trained to give a reasonable amount of time if they terminate therapy. Termination could be something like the therapist is ill and needs time off, childbirth, or the therapist is moving away. Whatever the reason they talk with the client about it and give them a time frame. Then they give the client a list of other therapists. In your case in sounds like the therapist may have felt she did not have the training or education as @gingerw wrote to continue with you. I can understand that you did not see it that way and felt you were making progress with her and felt a connection. She gave you some referrals to other therapists when she terminated your sessions so it doesn't sound like she did anything unethical.

As for talking about herself, some therapists do that and some do not. It depends on their background and training. I've had therapists that said almost nothing about themselves and others that I felt talked about themselves too much. This is something to talk with a therapist about when and if you want to.

I am hopeful that you will find another therapist that you can work with. Perhaps during your first few sessions you can interview the therapist to make sure the "fit" is good for you. What do you think about that?

REPLY
@frances007

Thank you. Yes, I will focus on the positive aspects of what I gained from our relationship. I was angered by the fact that she chose to discontinue our work when I asked her three weeks ago if she would hang in there with me in the long run. Instead of responding during our call, she chose instead to send me a message saying, "this clinician does not have experience with "end of life stage issues or those with a chronic illness." I reminded her later that I am not dying, I am sick. She was also upset that when I checked her license on the Board of Behavioral Sciences, there was a link to her LinkedIn profile where I learned she is an accomplished artist like I am. During the months we spent talking, I was always asking her why she was so private, as in the past I had never encountered a therapist who chose to keep so much of their lives private. Sometimes sharing even small things about themselves helps to build a more trusting relationship, and it was often frustrating that she chose to be as private about herself as she was, and it became obvious to me yesterday that she was perturbed that I had seen her online profile. I am laughing as I write this because I had a thought, "now she was exposed and she did not like that."

Jump to this post

I don't know why she decided to terminate the therapy with you. I bet it had nothing to do with you, though.
Yes. Perhaps she felt that her privacy was a little invaded. People don't like that but they surely put a lot of themselves online and then they feel offended or afraid when someone find out about their lifes. This may not have anything to do with her decision either. I know when Amy droped me, I wonder about it just like you did.
Hwvr, I found a therapist that made up for at least 4 of my doctors. If Amy wouldn't have removed herself from my path, I'd never received my current dictor's services.
I think that your therapist removed herself from your situation as she realized that it was in your best interest. You will find someone that is better fit to your situation.
When I first met Amy, I was very skin and bones in suffering. I looked dead and I walk with difficulties. I have gained a little bit of weight. I think that made Amy frustrated.

But, anyway, I am pleased that you said you were laughing a bit. I think everything is for the better and you will find a doctor/therapist that you really need.
Hoping that you get better, 507

REPLY
@naturegirl5

@frances007. You probably know that mental health therapists have a variety of graduate degrees and licenses - social workers, psychologists, marriage and family counselors. All of them are trained to give a reasonable amount of time if they terminate therapy. Termination could be something like the therapist is ill and needs time off, childbirth, or the therapist is moving away. Whatever the reason they talk with the client about it and give them a time frame. Then they give the client a list of other therapists. In your case in sounds like the therapist may have felt she did not have the training or education as @gingerw wrote to continue with you. I can understand that you did not see it that way and felt you were making progress with her and felt a connection. She gave you some referrals to other therapists when she terminated your sessions so it doesn't sound like she did anything unethical.

As for talking about herself, some therapists do that and some do not. It depends on their background and training. I've had therapists that said almost nothing about themselves and others that I felt talked about themselves too much. This is something to talk with a therapist about when and if you want to.

I am hopeful that you will find another therapist that you can work with. Perhaps during your first few sessions you can interview the therapist to make sure the "fit" is good for you. What do you think about that?

Jump to this post

Thank you very much.
My therapist did not give me a time frame, but rather sent me a message after our second to the last visit that she did not have the experience to treat me, which I now accept and understand. I was simply upset by the timing. I did note that she suggested I see a psychologist and I will contact someone at the phone number she provided. I currently have Home Health coming out to see me for PT, nutrition, RN and also a social worker came out. I discussed the therapy issue with her and she found it odd that my therapist would terminate our relationship especially since I had found it so helpful, She suggested I ask my therapist if there were other reasons why she was terminating the relationship, so I did ask her the question. This caused her obvious discomfort, I could tell this by her body language etc because we were doing a video visit for the second time. Usually we just spoke on the phone. In any event, I will take a break and move on when I am ready to do so. I have trust issues, and I had placed a lot of trust in the relationship I had with this therapist and now I have to start over again. I understand it is a process and in the long run everything will turn out the way it is supposed to.
In all honesty, I did call her out regarding her credentials, and she did not like that at all. But, it's all good and I will move on. Thank you very much for your support in this matter,

REPLY
@frances007

Thank you. Yes, I will focus on the positive aspects of what I gained from our relationship. I was angered by the fact that she chose to discontinue our work when I asked her three weeks ago if she would hang in there with me in the long run. Instead of responding during our call, she chose instead to send me a message saying, "this clinician does not have experience with "end of life stage issues or those with a chronic illness." I reminded her later that I am not dying, I am sick. She was also upset that when I checked her license on the Board of Behavioral Sciences, there was a link to her LinkedIn profile where I learned she is an accomplished artist like I am. During the months we spent talking, I was always asking her why she was so private, as in the past I had never encountered a therapist who chose to keep so much of their lives private. Sometimes sharing even small things about themselves helps to build a more trusting relationship, and it was often frustrating that she chose to be as private about herself as she was, and it became obvious to me yesterday that she was perturbed that I had seen her online profile. I am laughing as I write this because I had a thought, "now she was exposed and she did not like that."

Jump to this post

Artists are said to be sensitive. Perhaps a more sensitive nature steers this therapist away from working longer term with "dual diagnose" patients. I believe the more Freudian bent the therapist is the more private they are schooled to behave. They want the session to be about you, your transferences onto them and whatnot. Is your medium drawing or painting? You could also consider going to a Art Therapist should they practice nearby you.

REPLY
@frances007

Thank you very much.
My therapist did not give me a time frame, but rather sent me a message after our second to the last visit that she did not have the experience to treat me, which I now accept and understand. I was simply upset by the timing. I did note that she suggested I see a psychologist and I will contact someone at the phone number she provided. I currently have Home Health coming out to see me for PT, nutrition, RN and also a social worker came out. I discussed the therapy issue with her and she found it odd that my therapist would terminate our relationship especially since I had found it so helpful, She suggested I ask my therapist if there were other reasons why she was terminating the relationship, so I did ask her the question. This caused her obvious discomfort, I could tell this by her body language etc because we were doing a video visit for the second time. Usually we just spoke on the phone. In any event, I will take a break and move on when I am ready to do so. I have trust issues, and I had placed a lot of trust in the relationship I had with this therapist and now I have to start over again. I understand it is a process and in the long run everything will turn out the way it is supposed to.
In all honesty, I did call her out regarding her credentials, and she did not like that at all. But, it's all good and I will move on. Thank you very much for your support in this matter,

Jump to this post

@frances007 This is a good plan. Since your former therapist provided a referral source that she thought would suit you then that's a good place to start.

When you call and make that appointment will you let me know? Mental health appointments seem so difficult to make these days with so much more mental health needs these days so I'm hopeful that you will get in to see the psychologist soon.

REPLY
@linh

Artists are said to be sensitive. Perhaps a more sensitive nature steers this therapist away from working longer term with "dual diagnose" patients. I believe the more Freudian bent the therapist is the more private they are schooled to behave. They want the session to be about you, your transferences onto them and whatnot. Is your medium drawing or painting? You could also consider going to a Art Therapist should they practice nearby you.

Jump to this post

@linh. I'm just wondering what dual diagnosis" means. I don't recall that @frances007 mentioned that.

REPLY
Please sign in or register to post a reply.