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Married a Narcissist

Posted by jed1968 @jed1968, 21 hours ago

Almost 25 years together and I finally let myself really believe it. Of course it was obvious all along. I imagined there were signs of caring & empathy. At the same time puzzled by the lack of it. Low self esteem. I didn’t really deserve it anyway. I know that’s wrong but it’s those feelings that got me here. I’ve got 2 amazing teenagers who are starting to question their mom’s self centerness. How do I cope?

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frouke | @frouke | 19 hours ago

I’m truly sorry for you and the situation you’re going through, I know it’s hard to live with someone who’s a narcissist for sure…I worked with a lady who is a narcissist and I had no idea what to do about having a working relationship so I started researching everything I could find out about people like her, it’s definitely not easy, she is also married with two daughters and I felt bad for her family, there’s nothing you can do about this situation because they don’t change and worst of all they don’t care what you think. I know that her husband controls the household and took most of the responsibility for the girls, he’s a great guy and stayed with her because he felt obligated to do so for the sake of his family. I think that if you’re having trouble coping then I would suggest trying therapy, if she doesn’t want to go then you should do it for yourself and your children, it will help you a lot to understand how to deal with this and most importantly the children will understand more and find ways to cope with this situation, best wishes.

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jed1968 | @jed1968 | 17 hours ago
In reply to @frouke "I’m truly sorry for you and the situation you’re going through, I know it’s hard to..." + (show)
@frouke

I’m truly sorry for you and the situation you’re going through, I know it’s hard to live with someone who’s a narcissist for sure…I worked with a lady who is a narcissist and I had no idea what to do about having a working relationship so I started researching everything I could find out about people like her, it’s definitely not easy, she is also married with two daughters and I felt bad for her family, there’s nothing you can do about this situation because they don’t change and worst of all they don’t care what you think. I know that her husband controls the household and took most of the responsibility for the girls, he’s a great guy and stayed with her because he felt obligated to do so for the sake of his family. I think that if you’re having trouble coping then I would suggest trying therapy, if she doesn’t want to go then you should do it for yourself and your children, it will help you a lot to understand how to deal with this and most importantly the children will understand more and find ways to cope with this situation, best wishes.

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Thanks for your empathy! I need it. She told me she won’t go to therapy but maybe we can do something as a couple like take a ceramics class. So it’s solo therapy for me.

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Mentor
Ginger, Volunteer Mentor | @gingerw | 17 hours ago
In reply to @jed1968 "Thanks for your empathy! I need it. She told me she won’t go to therapy but..." + (show)
@jed1968

Thanks for your empathy! I need it. She told me she won’t go to therapy but maybe we can do something as a couple like take a ceramics class. So it’s solo therapy for me.

Jump to this post

@jed1968 Welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect. I believe I am married to a narcissist, also. As @frouke suggested, if couples therapy is not an option ["there's nothing wrong with me! I think you're the problem!"], please reach out and seek some help for yourself and your daughters.

Single therapy can be very beneficial. It has helped me.
Ginger

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