Many problems with Breast Reconstruction after Mastectomy

@timbrownfl I am so terribly sorry for your wife’s experience. Surgery is no small thing, and should not be entered into lightly. I realize this is the surgeon’s job, and it’s just another day at work (for him) - but it’s not everyday for the patient. I had a double mastectomy at Mayo Rochester. They were amazing with me. My surgeon had to be changed at the last moment, due to the surgeon’s personal injury, and she talked to me from her home, while she was icing her injury! I’d just finished all my chemo, and I was unsteady enough from that trauma; yet, she took time to listen to my concerns about the change in surgeons, and spoke to me like a friend. Honestly. Transparently. I met with the new surgeon and her team, and they, too, treated me with such compassion, as they knew I was unsettled with the change. I had five surgeries in two years (took a detour with uterine cancer and a thyroid issue), so I understand a multiple surgery trajectory. It is not easy.

Your wife is no doubt exhausted, physically, mentally, and emotionally. Poor dear! I’d encourage you to help with the homework, and at least provide her with options for a second opinion. She may be too tired or even feel compromised in her decision-making ability by this point, and cannot tackle it on her own, or even in part. I’d encourage you both to seek out a second opinion.

And as to the nakedness in front of seven people? I am so sorry! Surely, this does not have to be part of her experience! As women on this journey, we can feel almost forced in the loss of our modesty, simply because of what we must travel through. But to be surrounded by professional staff that understands that vulnerability is paramount; essential, I’d add, in our ability to manage the frailty we have to endure in this whole experience.

If you are not receiving this vital component of compassion in your wife’s healthcare, you might consider making a change in providers.

I’m praying your wife heals well, regardless of the path you choose.

Hello @timbrownfl I need to edit something I wrote - it did not come out with clarity . . . . and that is, the surgeon's job is not just another day at work. . . I meant to communicate that surgery is everyday for that surgeon. . . but not for us. Of course, I would not intend to imply that it's just a job. My surgeons were caring, thoughtful, and professional. Hope this helps.

I didn't take it that way at all. We'e fine!

Hello. I'm Cathy, Tim's wife. You're exactly right about my being unable to make a decision. I'm still overwhelmed by this entire thing. There are day's when I can't think straight. I feel like a freak. I see the plastic surgeon in a couple of weeks; I hope he can fix what he's done to me.

I did! Double mastectomy with immediate reconstruction. I believe I'm a victim of what I discovered is called "Flat Denial", where I asked heaps of questions about protecting some aesthetics should I choose not to have breast implants at all,. I don't have much fat or tissue to work with and was advised that things like tissue rearrangement, nipple-sparring, mindfulness toward scarring, preventing concavity, achieve some smoothness... are imaginary and don't exist as real medical procedures. Then they told me it would be way safer to do tissue expanders first, to permit better healing. That sounded nuts because I came in with B cup and wanted to walk out with an A cup or even smaller (no desire to expand any tissue here!). The tissue expanders were too big, even when empty. They weren't able to leave enough flesh over them to permit proper healing and we had that whole circus of repeat medical visits, wound care, drain tubes, etc. Watching necrosis and waiting to the ideal time to remove dead skin while being cautious at infection risk. Another surgery to remove the necrosis, and the stitches again never healed over the tissue expanders. They eventually had to be removed, but because the were empty inside of me like freakin wrinkly raisins, my tissue has scarred all around them in that same form. I have asymmetrical scar tissue in lumps and bumps all around the area and now can never have the outcome that I'd been asking for all along. A second opinion confirmed that those initial procedures were, in fact, very real and attainable, but not any longer because I have so much scarring from the failed implants. I'm under 50 and still enjoy my physique - it's really sad that there's so much disfigurement in the area now due to those failed implants that I never wanted in the first place. I filed a DORA complaint and spoke to a handful of attorneys - they all say that I should and could absolutely sue them, but not through their firm... there isnt really a firm out there that's interested, so far. I hear medical malpractice is really tricky unless the case is very extreme. I've got a lot of anger but happy now as we approach the end of the calendar year and can leave Kaiser for EVER now! The thought of starting over again in surgical is also really terrible, so I might do nothing for a long time. I mean, the statistics they give you when you walk in the door is that implants only have a 60% success rate, and that some huge percentage of them are removed within the first year, so I wonder why they push patients so hard in that direction anyway.