Loneliness

Hi Alice,
I'm so sorry that you are lonely. It's hard to deal with loneliness. My husband died a year ago and I have been coping with loneliness ever since. This forum has been a big help to me. There are a lot of very nice people on here who would love to communicate with you. I have found it really good at keeping me from being too lonely. Also talking to God helps me too. I don't have too many others to talk to. I'm 79 and most everyone I knew have died and gone to Heaven even the neighbor's cat who really liked me!

Keeping busy helps also. My husband had lung cancer and the last year of his life I was really busy taking care of him. A lot of cleaning and gardening got neglected so now I'm trying to catch up. I'm also realizing that I don't have the energy at 79 that I had at 49!

What is your situation? What has caused you to be lonely? I'd be interested in hearing your story if you would like to share it.
PML

I have spent decades looking after family 3 of whom are gone now, so of course I don't have the full life I used to. Im not a social creature at the best of times which adds to the loneliness and isolation ...

@aliceelias
We don't know your medical and mental health history, nor your age. We (I) can only pass on your experience and how we handled mental heatlth concerns.

Do you have family living close to you? Maybe reach out to them.
Do you have friends? Reach out and spend some quality time with them.
Like a hobby join a group and enjoy an activity with others liking same and going to find others with similiar interests.
Like to exercise? Join an exercise group or find a YMCA (yes first word is youth but many programs for seniors and all ages). Do you like water aerobics or think you might. I do water aerobics 5 days a week. Totally enjoy doing exercise to music. Met and made many friends there who also love doing this activity and we all enjoy each others company.
Do you like pets? Having a loving dog or cat is really going to left up your depression. Just be aware they do need to be taken care of. But I found the love I give my dog he gives me twice the love back. I was diagnosed with PTSD anxiety/panic disorder and my dog has been designated (Mayo Psychiatric Department) as a PTSD Service dog. He is so much more than that and brings a lot of joy and happines to me.

One of the this with a dog is you have to walk them for exercise. Then you meet other dog walkers who also love their dogs and again you meet others with similiar likes. Not discounted cats. I had one for 18 years and he loved to play. I would play hide and seek with him. I would put him on my bed then run and hide. He would search the house to find me and always did. Sound strange but we both loved doing it that and that is what is important. Find something you like doing with or without others.

@aliceelias
I can relate. Many can. Covid made things worse for people being more isolated. Technology is making people less interpersonal.

I am a single parent of a teen with no family and disabled. I used to have a full career and worked 50-60+ hours per week while juggling home, parenting, pets, etc. When my health started to get worse (about 8 years ago), it has been a downward decline and I lost my job 2 years ago. Living with chronic pain also feels very isolating because no one around you can empathize or understand what you are going through since it is invisible to them.

I am hoping to stabilize my health and manage pain better so I can do more. I had 6 surgeries in 4 years (3 on spine) so my house and life is in disarray and need to take one day at a time to chip away at cleaning and organizing when I have energy and not in too much pain. My son helps me lift heavy things and do physical things I am unable to do. Thank God he blessed me with a 6 foot tall 16 year old to help me (dealt with infertility so long when married).

My pets also keep me busy. I rescued 2 dogs during covid and have multiple cats (used to foster pregnant/nursing dogs and cats). I am a big animal lover and find myself trying to help people online find lost pets.

Are there things you like to do? Do you have any hobbies? Do you listen to uplifting music (I love KLOVE)? Do you participate online in any community at least feel like you are somewhat connected to others online? Have you looked into volunteering in something you enjoy? Do you belong to a church?

I pray you find ways to connect to others to help you not feel so lonely. So many others feel as you do so know you are not really alone. We each need to push ourselves to stay connected with others since we really do need each other. It becomes too easy to not bother staying socially connected but over time, this has a negative effect.

Thank you for posting! There are many of us struggling. My 2 dogs and 2 cats help me so much. Support groups like this one or (even ZOOM if you can't get out). If you like to to do physical activities, depending on where you live, there are clubs and groups of people that go hiking, camping, etc. Serving others is also a way to help with loneliness. There are many good suggestions on this site. You reached out and many have already replied. Hang in there and remember to try and stay in the present moment. That is all any of us has...

On the 27th of this month I will be 91. I find it hard to believe. My husband died four years ago. We were together for 62 years. I have 2 sons, but only a relationship with one of them. He lives very far from me. Thankfully we can communicate in real time thanks to the computer. Other than that I have no support system. I am not particularly social so have very few friends. Actually more like friendly acquaintances. I spend days on end alone with only myself to talk to. I have had therapy and decided to start it again. I am fortunate to be healthy. I am able to take care of myself, drive, cook, do laundry, etc. But this is not all of what life is and I miss the other part. Also due to my great age all my peers are gone.

When I lost a loved one, I attend a grief group. It seems to help to be with others who have lost someone dear, plus it lifts the pressure of others like family and friends.

Cats are cool.

Hi Tisme,
It's hard when your life changes and changes somewhat abruptly like it did for you. Even if we know that someday it may happen we aren't totally prepared for it. I know I wasn't when my husband died a year ago. All of a sudden, life is different and very lonely and isolated. There are places where you can go to meet new people like a senior center, libraries etc. But you may be apprehensive about starting over and meeting new people. I know I am. Especially these days. You never know who you can trust. However, that's just me being paranoid.

This website is perfect for lonely people. The people on here are so kind and caring. It helps a lot. Many of them have similar problems so a person has a lot in common with them. I know that this site helped me immensely when my husband died and even before he died when I was dealing with his home oxygen which I didn't know much about. I got a lot of good advice about it.

Also you can always send a private message to someone if you prefer your comments aren't read by the entire world. Feel free to send me a private message if you want to.

I hope things get better for you. I'll say a prayer for you.
PML