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Living in chronic pain
I've been visiting this forum every day for several weeks now, and there seems to be a new trend throughout a lot of the comments. What I've noticed are the comments about our doctors and specialists not seeming to offer us any/enough sympathy or support in dealing with the chronic, never ending pain that a lot of us are experiencing. Sure, we can tell them what we go through on a daily basis EVERY day of every week, but then they see their next patient and move on.
It just seems that no matter what we tell our doctors, spouses, adult children, friends, or even grandkids about what we have to deal with, and how it affects our daily lives, they can never really truly understand what chronic pain does to someone over a period of several years. It just wears you down physically, emotionally, and mentally, to the point that you're just existing, either for them, or for some other reason.
Some nights, when I'm climbing into my sleeping chair with my wife of 43 years sleeping in her bed on the other side of the room, I don't want to go to sleep because it means starting another day all over again when I wake up. Every day is the same, I wake up alone because my wife is at the office supporting us. She's home when I wake up on Saturday morning, but then she's gone again on Sunday morning at her church for half the day. So I'm at home alone the vast majority of the time. I know she'd do anything to help me whenever it was needed, and she sympathizes with my problems, both mentally and physically, but on some days you just want to stop existing, and for the pain to stop, but getting someone else to understand that seems to be impossible. It's something that can't be conceived of without them actually experiencing it for themselves.
Every day for the past 10+ years I've dealt with the chronic pain of osteoarthritis in my lower back, hips, and knees, as well as idiopathic poly neuropathy in my feet, and I just want it to stop. Another fucking day of just existing and staying at home all day by myself? Why am I even doing this? We never go any where, there's no money for any kind of a vacation. Nothing ever changes, except for the levels of my pain. Every day is exactly the same, and the weeks, months, and years just fly past me. The sheer monotony of my current situation is maddening, and I'm positive that I'm not the only person on this forum who feels exactly the same way.
How can we get someone other than ourselves to comprehend the ways we're feeling having to deal with this? Is it even possible?
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I also live in chronic pain in my neck, C-2 thru C-6 fusion with arthritis and stenosis. Have been to PT with no solutions as well as Mayo pain management. My primary tries to help with my pain. But,it is the pneumonia and acute pancreatitis that adds to my feeling off being a burden to my husband. My Dr calls it situational depression and has given me a referral to a mental health specialist.
The tools I used to use...my gratitude list,meditation, chair yoga,I'm too sick and too tired and weak to use. And,the sicker I am,the more my chronic pain seems hopeless.
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1 Reaction@samiam1949
I understand you. Counseling helps. Getting it all out to someone will give you an outlet and help your depression. And if you can’t make it into an appointment they do it online. Taking medication is NOT a weakness. You have to realize it’s a chemical imbalance not a weakness of character. You’re doing all the right things. Hugs
Hello. I too had chronic pain for over a decade, diagnosed as "mild" arthritis. Long story short, it's CPPD. An often overlooked inflammatory arthritis more common after 60. Wouldn't hurt to have a rheumatologist take a close look at old x-rays. It'll show up there.
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1 Reaction@leoandbear thank you! You are very kind and I am grateful!
Living with chronic pain over 30 yrs, 20 since sinus cancer/surgeries/radiation. The effort i’ve put I to to manage pain w/o medications could write a book. Now in 70’s I have to accept Rx meds as part of my life and after a year of feeling like a lab rat, I now take what originally helped and doesn’t effect my personality or mood or interact with OTCs. That year as a lab rat is because of the stigma of Rx pain meds. When taking such meds strictly for pain there is VERY little chance of abuse or addiction. BUT there is now stigma associated and more rules to follow actually pushing me to take on schedule instead of as needed. Some days are worse than others. I feel like I’m being forced to take more than I need daily then haven’t enough for real bad days. Those of us with chronic pain already hate out meds and are always looking for alternatives: lifestyle, therapies etc….. to reduce. The way the system treats us can feel insulting and embarrassing as well as not for our best interest to live as normal, productive lives as possible. Sad.
Also, I do have TBI and have had some doctors agree that late effects of post sinus cancer radiation could be worsening symptoms and pain. However no one will document this.