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Living in chronic pain
I've been visiting this forum every day for several weeks now, and there seems to be a new trend throughout a lot of the comments. What I've noticed are the comments about our doctors and specialists not seeming to offer us any/enough sympathy or support in dealing with the chronic, never ending pain that a lot of us are experiencing. Sure, we can tell them what we go through on a daily basis EVERY day of every week, but then they see their next patient and move on.
It just seems that no matter what we tell our doctors, spouses, adult children, friends, or even grandkids about what we have to deal with, and how it affects our daily lives, they can never really truly understand what chronic pain does to someone over a period of several years. It just wears you down physically, emotionally, and mentally, to the point that you're just existing, either for them, or for some other reason.
Some nights, when I'm climbing into my sleeping chair with my wife of 43 years sleeping in her bed on the other side of the room, I don't want to go to sleep because it means starting another day all over again when I wake up. Every day is the same, I wake up alone because my wife is at the office supporting us. She's home when I wake up on Saturday morning, but then she's gone again on Sunday morning at her church for half the day. So I'm at home alone the vast majority of the time. I know she'd do anything to help me whenever it was needed, and she sympathizes with my problems, both mentally and physically, but on some days you just want to stop existing, and for the pain to stop, but getting someone else to understand that seems to be impossible. It's something that can't be conceived of without them actually experiencing it for themselves.
Every day for the past 10+ years I've dealt with the chronic pain of osteoarthritis in my lower back, hips, and knees, as well as idiopathic poly neuropathy in my feet, and I just want it to stop. Another fucking day of just existing and staying at home all day by myself? Why am I even doing this? We never go any where, there's no money for any kind of a vacation. Nothing ever changes, except for the levels of my pain. Every day is exactly the same, and the weeks, months, and years just fly past me. The sheer monotony of my current situation is maddening, and I'm positive that I'm not the only person on this forum who feels exactly the same way.
How can we get someone other than ourselves to comprehend the ways we're feeling having to deal with this? Is it even possible?
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Thank you Annie!
I find it difficult to get any solutions to comfort from my Doctor! I have had some PT come to my home, and some are simply "by the book", and others seem to focus more on what is right for you in particular! Heating pads by themselves do not work, and warm towels by themselves are not a solution either...so thank you for that way to get a little less pain! Getting older is not for sissies!
Fala
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1 ReactionI've only said this once - but next year I turn 70. But, you are right - getting old isn't for sissies.
I sometimes think to myself -- I only I hadn't pushed myself hard -- maybe so many things wouldn't hurt. But the truth is, it wouldn't have made a difference to my arthritis (I have hands like my Grandma-- which I love.) And, raising kids, nothing I would have done different either. So maybe I am glad that working for 33 years, raising kids, etc. maybe I should be lucky more things don't hurt.
I am also a lifetime klutz. One time at work I tripped over the Handicap Sign. I managed to grab on the pole as I fell. My colleagues thought I was pole dancing !! Never did live that one down !
Take care of yourself !!
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2 ReactionsYes, I tried physical therapy at more than one place and PT is one reason why I now have lower back pain. Usage of ankle weights caused severe strain and I am now hoping that acupuncture, massage and diet will aid me in having less pain. The second PT place made me feel like I was a slab of meat on a table--and, they too, overworked me. Be careful! Perhaps there are some good places out there but more often they do not seem to provide good care or even moral support.
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4 ReactionsI wish there were some responses. I’m pretty much in the same boat you are. Except my wife works from home and after 17 years married she seems to have forgotten about my daily struggle. I’ve been staying up later and later for fear of going to bed. Guess I’ll just wait with you and hopefully someone will share something that could make the days bearable.
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2 ReactionsHi Archie,
I hear you, and understand how hard this is. Living with chronic pain for so long takes an immense toll, and it’s completely understandable that you’re feeling how you are. It’s a fight every day just to get by, and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed and tired.
Please know that your pain doesn’t define you, even when it feels like it takes up all the space. It’s just a part of the incredible life you’ve lived, full of experiences, memories, and love. All of those things are still there, even on the hardest days.
If you can, try to find a single, tiny moment of peace in each day. These little moments don’t erase the pain, but they can be a gentle reminder of the world beyond it.
You are not alone in this, utilise the support of the healthcare professionals. Your strength is immeasurable, and it’s a profound act of courage just to keep going. Be kind to yourself and never feel like you have to be anything but exactly where you are.
Take care and take it one step at a time. 🙂
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5 ReactionsI understand and hear you. If you would like to talk to a fellow chronic pain suffer text me your line Rob. I wish serious chronic pain sufferers could meet once week like AA. Only ones like us who suffer 24/7 understand.
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2 ReactionsWe could email once a week and keep in touch that way, if you are willing?
Let me know. We all need other people who are always going through some physical difficulties to see if maybe there is a new idea?
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1 Reaction@fala
If you suffer from tough daily 24/7 pain I’d like to meet through email.
Hello @rt061069 - you may notice I removed your email from your post. Mayo Clinic Connect is a public community and we encourage our members to share private information using the private message function. This is to help protect your identity and personal information from bad actors and potential spammers.
I tried PT and got no results. Have tried every med and now my doctor reduced the pain med and put me on Cymbalta. It has helped some with pain, but not anywhere near enough. The Cymbalta helps with depression so that might be an option. Has anyone tried that for depression. I just keep thinking there will be no relief.
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