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Life Not Expected
I had surgery last Monday. All went well. Mayo made me feel like a very important person. Total Stranges looked me in the eye with so much care. I never felt so important in all my life. I was loved by strangers. I come home after 4 days in the hospital and my husband treats me like I was never cut open. I try to take my medication to be well and he texting me urgent messages like something is wrong with our daughter. After getting home safely discovers that she ate moldy bread by accident and just find. Meanwhile, he doesn't have any food for me to eat and didn't do the one thing, I asked him to do was clean my catheter. I'm tired and I'm alone. Christmas is coming and all I can think about is running away. I miss my family and medical issues have prevented me from seeing this year. I don't have the money and I'm still in recovery. I need a fresh start. I'm about ready to leave my husband and daughter and go back to my mother, The only person that's truly cared about me calls me every day and listen to my sadness. How does one cope with and issue like this?
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@dsims01
Welcome to Mayo Connect. You are not alone in feeling depressed after surgery due to lack of support system.
I am glad you had a good experience at Mayo, but after being well cared for and getting the attention you needed, it must be very disappointing that when you went home it was the opposite.
You did not mention how old your daughter is, but I am guessing she is young.
Is it possible that you go stay with your mother for a week or your mother comes stay with you while you recover?
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4 ReactionsI would seriously consider "recovery" in a different location where you do feel loved and cared for. Plus, it will probably shorten your recovery period rather than having to deal with mundane issues and no support from your husband. It is time to think of your needs so that you become stronger to help meet others needs in your family. I am facing somewhat of the same thing and the feeling of being alone in your struggles sometimes is more than I can bare.
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2 ReactionsI have had a similar problem with my wife who expects me to function at her level despite being a lung transplant recipient. Every time I fail to meet her expectations, I am chastised like I am useless. This then triggers depression and suicidal ideations. I have tried everything (almost) and decided to try medicinal cannabis orally in an oil form. This has slowly allowed me to not pay attention to that I cannot change and just do what I can when I can. It astounds me how someone who you consider close to you simply has no empathy for what you have been through. My only concern is that your husband sounds like he is incapable of providing proper care for your daughter. But you need to be in a place where you can recover and do what is best for you, you cannot always do what is best for everyone else.
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