1. < Colorectal Cancer

Life expectancy: Fearing, but preparing if chemo doesn't work

Posted by tracyjayne66 @tracyjayne66, Jul 18 3:23pm

Hi my husband was diagnosed with rectal adenocarcinoma 6 weeks ago, it has spread to his liver and lymph nodes tracking towards the aorta ( consultants words) he started palliative chemo 2 weeks ago ( Oxaliplatin-Capecitabine ) this caused a serious heart spasm putting him in hospital for a week, he can no longer take the Capecitabine, we have an appointment for next monday to discuss further chemo, I am terrified of them saying the chemo won't help, we have not been given any sort of life expectancies and I'm not sure I can ask this question in front of my husband, does anybody here relate to my situation and have anykind of answer ? I know everybody reacts differently to chemo as wel as the cancer so perhaps I shouldn't be asking but I'm scared and want to be prepared, thankyou in advance. ( UK )

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rjjacobsen | @rjjacobsen | Oct 21 9:42am
In reply to @dawnsdc "I am so very sorry. OX" + (show)
@dawnsdc

I am so very sorry. OX

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Intended for you @tracyjayne66

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danandnan2024 | @danandnan2024 | Oct 21 11:12am

I feel it's easier to talk about "how much might this increase his disease-free years? (DFA). If I state statistics the way the research talks about it, the conversation goes easier for us. Best to you.

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tracyjayne66 | @tracyjayne66 | Oct 28 11:03am
In reply to @isadora2021 "I am so very sorry for your loss of your husband and also for being there..." + (show)
@isadora2021

I am so very sorry for your loss of your husband and also for being there on your own 💔🙏 The same thing happened to my mother (a cancer patient) who passed suddenly at home in the early hours. She was due to go into hospital that morning to be rehydrated. My dad was the only one there. The paramedics had already arrived by the time my sister (a nurse) and I arrived but mom had passed before they arrived. My sister has convinced us that mom had no consciousness of what was happening. My poor father was traumatised for years. He needed to speak about it. It was hard to listen to the details each time, but he needed to share them and we needed to help carry them and to reassure him mom wasn’t aware. .

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I am so sorry that your family have experienced much the same as I have, I can relate to that trauma, I spend every minute thinking of nothing else, I cry a lot, I don't think people understand just how traumatic this is, like your Dad , I am convinced Tony looked into my eyes, I know there was still something there because he gasped for air, I can't get that vision out of my head, he knew I couldn't save him, how can you ever get over that ?

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