Keeping head above water?

I definitely understand how you feel. It is a very difficult time of year. And no, it's not all in your head.

This Christmas will mark the five-year anniversary of my stroke. On Christmas Eve, 2018, I lost my career, my hobbies, my independence, my mobility, most of my friends, and a lot else.

But ever since, I focus on what I'm grateful for. At first, it didn't seem like much, but the list became quite substantial.

When the pain nearly overwhelms me (it's constant), I focus instead on my progress, even in the tiniest of ways.

Gratitude is not a magic cure for the depression, frustration, isolation, and other challenges I face hour by hour.

But it's a start.

Hang in there.

Thanks..some days Im great mood...other days not so much. I do notice if I dont have chores or something keep me busy...thats the days my mind goes down rabbit hole.
Merry Christmas

Do you know someone that needs a little help, stop by or take a phone call.
It could have a positive effect for you and another person.
I think we all have someone we should take to, but have put it off for some time.
Merry Christmas!

I understand. Doing something productive always helps.

Another thing -- try to say something nice to everybody you come across. Those may be the only kind words they hear all day.

Even if they don't reciprocate, you'll know you brightened somebody's day, and that will come back around to you.

"...Another thing — try to say something nice to everybody you come across..." Amen, Scott!
I had one young cashier get teary-eyed the other day - he said "Everyone else yells at me because the computers are slow and the lines are long. Thank you" - and he shook my hand.

It made both of our days brighter.

Also, please stop and smile at the parents who are wrangling tired children - they may not have a way to leave them at home while doing errands.

Sue

I missed Christmas with my family in 2021, stuck temporarily paraplegic in a hospital bed under COVID lockdown (no visitors, and I couldn't even leave the room). I've been soaking up every drop I could get since they let me come home.

The first thing is to ask yourself what you want. If Christmas isn't a big deal for you, then there's no need to try to conform to other people's expectations and force it to become one. If your best Christmas is just relaxing watching Netflix and ordering delivery food, with no tree or decorations or presents, that's OK.

If you do want to do all those things on Christmas — for your own sake, not because you think you need to — then maybe start with baby steps. What's the easiest thing you could do that would add a tiny bit of Christmas atmosphere for you? Hang one Christmas-tree bulb on the wall? Buy a dollar-store wreath? Play some Christmas tunes on Spotify by the light of a pine-scented candle? Whatever you decide to do *is* the right thing to do for Christmas.

Sorry you are struggling. No easy answers but since staying busy helps, maybe reaching out to talk to others here and in person will help too. I know a good book and music always help me lift my mood too. Merry Christmas and wishing you happiness each day.

There are some very good responses above. I have so much to be grateful for. If I’m alive, mobil and able to take care of my needs, I consider myself fortunate. This Christmas will be very quiet for me. There’s a lot of serious stuff going on. My parents are really declining, so…….

I think that when friends try to help but make inappropriate comments, it can bring you down. I try to avoid it by not sharing much about my struggles. Maybe, that’s wrong, but I feel less judged that way. I have a therapist that I share most things with and he’s awesome. He’s helping me learn how to make my needs important too. I’m a giver, but don’t take much. You can get drained.

This has been quite a year for me. I hope next year calms down and let’s me take a break. I hope you get to feeling better. I feel good when I watch the movie Elf. It just makes me laugh.

To smead8867 @smead8867, I understand exactly what you are saying and feeling. The Holiday Season has been hard for me for years. I lost my very young husband [28] at Xmastime over 50 years ago and had our very young daughter to make Xmases happy for. My daughter doesn't have anything to do with me anymore, for reasons I don't know, but then also don't see my twin granddaughters, so I have spent all Holidays alone for years now, knowing they are out there. As for what people say, I was only 23 when my husb died and received advice all my life, most of it absudly irrevelevant. I had to learn to deal with it appropriately by giving a fake smile and phony words of "thank you" and then throwing out of my mind everything they said. Unless someone walks a mile in your moccasins..........but most people don't understand that. They mean well, even though they say ridiculous things. You just have to find your own way eventually. It isn't easy and you may change "paths" many times, but I am confident you will find your way. Yours will be different than mine and I respect whatever way you find. There are many of us out here that understand what you are going through. Hopefully you can draw some comfort from that. My heart and prayers go out to you.
❤️P

Thank you for those words. It’s very touching and comforting.