I'm going to be sad the rest of my life.

Posted by hangingon25 @hangingon25, 9 hours ago

My wife of 50 years has a terminal lung disease. She is trying so hard to stay alive - taking part in clinical drug trials, doing breathing exercises, walking thousands and thousands of steps every day.

People with her diagnosis typically live only three or four years, but she's trying so hard to double that time, in order to see our youngest grandchild to adulthood.

That means she really doesn't see me anymore. There is only so much time and energy a person has, and she has none to spare for me. I'm so tired, so lonely, a little run down from doing all of the work of maintaining a household and making all major decisions by myself. The best case scenario is that this is what the next twenty years of my life will be like, worst case is that in a couple of years I lose the only friend I have.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Depression & Anxiety Support Group.

scottbeammeup | @scottbeammeup | 3 hours ago

Can you walk with her outdoors sometimes? Do you have a friend you can confide in? Can you get yourself some more time by maybe using a grocery delivery service or something similar? Can you join a club for a couple hours a week? I'm just throwing out ideas here--I don't know if any of them will fit your situation.

You might also look into talking with a therapist. I swallowed my pride and did it during my cancer treatment and it was amazingly helpful.

hangingon25 | @hangingon25 | 1 hour ago

Thanks for the response and the suggestions. I have talked to a therapist but, you know...you play the hand you're dealt.

Everyone, literally everyone, who's been married for half a century or more faces something similar, unless they're lucky enough to die together in a plane crash when they're eighty. It's just that some days are better than others.