How long will I struggle?

Hi Because,
I'm so sorry for the loss of your husband. I know exactly how you feel because my husband died in July of 2024. It's hard to be without our husbands whom we loved so deeply and like you said to be alone in a couples world. However, we both have God and Jesus and all the angels to help us through this very difficult time in our lives. Just ask for their help and you will get it. I talk to God everyday and Jesus and the angels too. My prayers get answered and I have even started to feel happy once in a great while.

It's good that you have found this forum. There are some very nice caring people on here to communicate with. It was extremely helpful when my husband first died and it still is helpful for me.
You mentioned that you have few friends. That is hard. I, too have very few friends. I'm 79 and most of them are up in Heaven with our husbands. I'd be glad to communicate with you if you are interested. It can help with your loneliness and mine too.

One thing that has helped me is to focus on what I can do to make my life better. I started by thoroughly cleaning my house. I alone cared for my husband with his lung cancer. We didn't have hospice. A lot of heavy cleaning got neglected during that time. So, I have started trying to catch up. Also I used to write and some of my writing was published in the past. I have started writing again in the hopes of getting something published. These kinds of activity give your life purpose and somewhat takes the sadness and emptiness away; at least for a little while.
You mentioned a family business. Is it possible for you to focus on that business and make it the most successful one in the area? That would be a good goal to consider and would give you some feeling of purpose.
I hope things start to get better for you. I will say a prayer for you.
I wish you the best.
PML

because, he sounds wonderful.
You'd feel alone even with crowds of friends. Habits of life get us through days of time until the shock eases.
The impulse to make new friends will help you. If there is a grief group that meets in person in your area you might consider joining. And it's good that you are on this site.
Some never experience being loved the way you have been loved, never have been cherished. There is such sweetness in being called his prize. He's given you a grand inner strength.
Join anything that appeals to you. Yoga classes photography classes. anything that interest you enough to go to. You might be happy doing volunteer work. I suspect that grief never goes away.
Bless your struggle with joy--joy in memory of what you've gain by his life.

@because Hi because -- My wife passed away unexpectedly in Feb of 2025, and I was in total shock and numb for 3 weeks. Even now, up is down and down is up and absolutely nothing is normal. We were married almost 53 years, and we loved one another very much. You are right, every day is a struggle and unfortunately, that is a fact involving grief. I think the stronger the relationship, the more difficult it is. I've accepted the fact that I will never be the same. It is very difficult trying to find that new life without the person you were with for many years. It is a struggle with no timeline. I try to look at it as 2 steps forward, 1 back. In time, 3 forward and 1 back. Please remember, you are not alone in this difficult time. Wish you well.

I’m in the same situation as you. My wife of 58 years died a month ago. I have no family nearby and am still trying to accept this. I have a grief counselor through hospice and may try a grief group offered by a church. My heart goes out to you and all in this difficult situation. God bless.

The body is the messenger, not the message. The message, gift, is of the partner's spirit and soul, which over (a long) time intertwines with yours. They call that True Love. The messenger delivers, and has to leave, but the messages of his or her Spirit and Soul S&S) remain Within you and Without you, as George Harrison says.
We, the "living," deliver to others our Spirit and Soul, which include the gifts of S&S given to us, which makes us, embodied, Messengers.
We leave the "living" with our message which includes all the other messages we were given. They, in turn, leave the message to the next generation. In Judaism, it's "dor l' dor," generation to generation . Or what goes around comes around, or karma.
So we "the living" carry around the messages of those who "went before."
That is how no one ever dies or is "gone." Death is only an horizon, and a horizon is nothing save the limit of our sight. (Carly Simon).
That is why we, as messengers, must be so careful of the messages we send and leave behind. We are creating, minute by minute, the (embodied) world we are living in. Listen to Van Morrison's Enlightenment recording.
As for our embodied messengers here and walking around, instead of suffering the absence of the messenger, LIVE the gifts your messenger gave you, especially if was Love, and leave those gifts and yours for those who follow.
dor l' dor. ❤️🙏🕉☪️🛐✝️✡️

Six weeks after my wife passed away, I joined a grief support group, and it helped me a lot. I suggest you give it a try. It gives you the opportunity to talk with others experiencing the same as you. In two weeks, they start another session, and I signed up for it again. Take care of yourself during these difficult days and months ahead. I know things are tough right now, but it will improve, it just takes time. Ed

I will give it a try. I need whatever help I can get right now. Thanks for the encouragement.

I lost my husband of 50 years last February and moved to be nearer to my children. Some days the pain “burst” makes it hard to breathe and I find myself waiting for night so I can try to sleep. For me a difficult part is forcing myself to go out and do anything. A grief counselor told me I will never feel normal again but I will feel better. Something that has helped me was finding a new church where I’ve connected with many women who have been where I am now. I also try to be sure to spend time outdoors each day, time in Bible study, prayer, journaling and playing and cuddling my little dog. My prayers for all of you are are going on this journey we never wanted. May you find peace and joy in the smallest moments.

@roxiesmom13 ,
I'm so sorry your husband recently died! And you were married 50 wonderful years. I'm sure that's very hard for you. My husband also died in July, 2024. We were married 30 years. I know what you are going through. But it does start to get better. I read the Bible every night and it helps. I also pray a lot. That's nice you found a church you like. I have an eye condition, Retinitis Pigmentosa so I don't like to drive anymore than I have to. So, I'm not attending church these days. However, I've found that keeping busy with cleaning the house and gardening really helps and at 79, it also tires you out so you can sleep good! With my husband having lung cancer and me taking care of him, a lot of things like gardens, windows, etc. got neglected.

Your dog sounds cute! I have a little gray squirrel who sits in the tree by my kitchen window everyday and waits for me to toss him a few peanuts out the window. Then he runs down and gets one peanut and runs back up the tree and eats his peanut on the branch by the window! He's fun to watch.

You are right. We are all on this journey we never wanted. But we have God and Jesus and all the angels to help us through it! Also we have the knowledge that eventually we will be in Heaven and reunited with our loved ones. I hope things go well for you during this time.

I'll remember you in my prayers.
PML

It has been four years since my husband died. We were together for 62 years. The pain of loss is still great. I am now 91 years old and alone. I have no support system. The only fortunate thing is that I am healthy and I live in our home independently. I look after myself and I drive myself and am able to make decisions for myself. During my lifetime I lived a healthy life, no smoking or drinking, and I was a racewalker. Every day after work I stopped at a track on my way home and did several miles. So I guess the result is that at my great age I still feel young. But I was never very social or outgoing so the loneliness is pretty bad. I have had therapy and was diagnosed as having PTSD due to child abuse. I left home as a young woman and made a new life for myself. This also helped to make me strong. But I miss my husband so much. He was the only man in my life and continues to be.