How do you support college-age kids when dad has stage 4 cancer?

The very fact that you are asking that question makes me think that it is we who should be asking YOU how to care for those we love when we face difficult challenges. My experience is that our children celebrate when we land that job, get that promotion and receive the accolades from the crowd. But thet cherish those times when they see us with transparent authenticity face life with all of the twists and turns. My strong hunch is that your college-age children will be having a front row seat as you “lecture” through your resilience how to resolutely go forward with grace and grit. Class is in session, right?

@bubona I would like to welcome you to Mayo Clinic Connect! The members here will do their best to give you help and tips based on their own experience. You might want to check out the Children and Teens Support Group. Members in that group have more experience that may help you. https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/childrens-and-teens-health/
Do your children know that their dad has stage 4 cancer?

We've been very open with our kids (age 10-23) about my husband's stage 4 prostate cancer diagnosis.
It came as a shock a year ago that he even had cancer and each test got worse and worse, they've been on the journey with us, though we don't tell them every single update as treatment is just steady ongoing now.
My husband LOOKS fine and acts fine, you'd never know by looking at him and now his hair has come back after chemo!
We have two kids home -10 and 13 and sometimes have to leave the 13yo in charge while going to an appointment, our 21yo is done with college and lives at home but works full time, we don't ASK her to take time off to baby sit anymore, only a few times when chemo took half a day! our 23yo lives near us and works full time and a few times I've asked him to bring his laptop and work from home if we're gone all day.
The youngest is more aware of ME- when mommy is sad, she gets sad!
in 2024 my in-laws passed away and the last 6 months before that my husband and I were the caretakers and it was stressful, so now that we're both at home, they are relieved and just happy we eat dinner together most nights and play with them or just hang out together. I more have PTSD from the grandparents dying and everything that I don't want to relive that with my husband- though that's QUITE different when it's my husband and not my in-laws! But we're not there yet....
Another thing we had to think about was a will! if I died too, who would raise the youngest kids, we have two young adult children who could legally adopt the younger ones!? It's tough to think about. Finances gotta get in order too.