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littleonefmohio
@littleonefmohio

Posts: 65
Joined: Mar 19, 2018

How do you be happy after being sad so many years?

Posted by @littleonefmohio, Sat, Mar 31 8:49am

I just wanted to ask that question How to be Happy after being Sad so long? I try to get there and stay there and it never happens. I have my happy times but most things on see makes me depressed. I cry over the littlest thing. There is so much cruelty in the world and it hurts to see it. Hard not to see or watch it because its everywhere. My little granddaughter makes me happy to watch her and have her but it is like I am not suppose to have any down time because my brain takes me right to sadness. Maybe I should make a page for only happy post. God Bless.

REPLY

Hello!
You ask a very good question. It is one I have struggled with myself, many times throughout the years. I know I suffer from generalized anxiety, but I am beginning to believe I also am suffering from depression.
I have found that the depression is not constant, but can last for some time. I have also noticed, it is usually tied into something that happens in my life that is traumatic in some way.
Currently, I have been suffering from chronic pain without relief. I cannot do anything. I spend most of my days sitting in my chair. This, is very depressing for me. I hope once I have my lumbar shot, I will begin to come out of this depression. I will have to discuss this with my psychiatrist who manages my meds and probably go back into therapy.
There is one thing I found out about sadness, if I don't find the root cause, it doesn't go away. It is often something so sad, that I don't want to deal with the deep seeded root.
I, too, have a granddaughter (actually I have 3 grands but I only get to see one because the other 2 live far). When I am really down in the dumps, she lights up my life and puts a smile on my face and in my heart.
There is happiness, we just have to find it and work towards it.
Best of luck to us both!!
Ronnie (GRANDMAr)

Liked by Parus

@grandmar

Hello!
You ask a very good question. It is one I have struggled with myself, many times throughout the years. I know I suffer from generalized anxiety, but I am beginning to believe I also am suffering from depression.
I have found that the depression is not constant, but can last for some time. I have also noticed, it is usually tied into something that happens in my life that is traumatic in some way.
Currently, I have been suffering from chronic pain without relief. I cannot do anything. I spend most of my days sitting in my chair. This, is very depressing for me. I hope once I have my lumbar shot, I will begin to come out of this depression. I will have to discuss this with my psychiatrist who manages my meds and probably go back into therapy.
There is one thing I found out about sadness, if I don't find the root cause, it doesn't go away. It is often something so sad, that I don't want to deal with the deep seeded root.
I, too, have a granddaughter (actually I have 3 grands but I only get to see one because the other 2 live far). When I am really down in the dumps, she lights up my life and puts a smile on my face and in my heart.
There is happiness, we just have to find it and work towards it.
Best of luck to us both!!
Ronnie (GRANDMAr)

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@grandmar — you seem very self-aware and insightful about what is going on with you. Makes a lot of sense to talk to your therapist about potential depression. I think that's very wise what you said about needing to find the root cause of sadness in order for it to go away.

Liked by Parus

@littleonefmohio To reply to your question of how to get happy. I have heard of and tried many things. The things that work for me include my faith, prayer, meditation, yoga, crafting and sometimes writing. It was once suggested to start a gratitude journal, that lasted me 3 days. Consistent or regular journaling or keeping a diary just doesn't work for me, maybe it will for you if you want to try it. I only write when something is on my mind, sometimes good, sometimes bad, sometimes just curiosity. Sometimes I just write feelings, sometimes I compose it into a poem or try to shrink it into a phrase or motto. For a while I did a daily haiku on a site I found. I haven't used that site for a while so I am not sure it is still active. I intend to check that out in the next few days. Overall I keep as happy as I can by focusing on my blessings rather than my woes. I also love to test my brain and do crosswords, jigsaw puzzles, word scrambles and other such "games" to force me to focus on something other than my sad self. Feel free to try anything I have mentioned or change it to fit what will work for you. I am praying for you to find solace and peace. I hope you find some calm soon.

@grandmar

Hello!
You ask a very good question. It is one I have struggled with myself, many times throughout the years. I know I suffer from generalized anxiety, but I am beginning to believe I also am suffering from depression.
I have found that the depression is not constant, but can last for some time. I have also noticed, it is usually tied into something that happens in my life that is traumatic in some way.
Currently, I have been suffering from chronic pain without relief. I cannot do anything. I spend most of my days sitting in my chair. This, is very depressing for me. I hope once I have my lumbar shot, I will begin to come out of this depression. I will have to discuss this with my psychiatrist who manages my meds and probably go back into therapy.
There is one thing I found out about sadness, if I don't find the root cause, it doesn't go away. It is often something so sad, that I don't want to deal with the deep seeded root.
I, too, have a granddaughter (actually I have 3 grands but I only get to see one because the other 2 live far). When I am really down in the dumps, she lights up my life and puts a smile on my face and in my heart.
There is happiness, we just have to find it and work towards it.
Best of luck to us both!!
Ronnie (GRANDMAr)

Jump to this post

@grandmar . Hello.
Yes I know I have GAD and suffer from depression most the time also. I am always in pain but cannot take prescription pain pills or most otc pain medicine because of my GERD. I find I can take Tylenol Arthritis which helps a good bit compared to nothing. I also have 4 more grandchildren which I cannot see because they live far away. I sure do miss them. I try to seem happy for my granddaughter since she sees me everyday. I am even trying to keep a smile on my face for her which isn't easy. Thank you for answering. Yes, hopefully we can both find happiness always. God Bless.

Liked by Parus, grandmaR

@2011panc

@littleonefmohio To reply to your question of how to get happy. I have heard of and tried many things. The things that work for me include my faith, prayer, meditation, yoga, crafting and sometimes writing. It was once suggested to start a gratitude journal, that lasted me 3 days. Consistent or regular journaling or keeping a diary just doesn't work for me, maybe it will for you if you want to try it. I only write when something is on my mind, sometimes good, sometimes bad, sometimes just curiosity. Sometimes I just write feelings, sometimes I compose it into a poem or try to shrink it into a phrase or motto. For a while I did a daily haiku on a site I found. I haven't used that site for a while so I am not sure it is still active. I intend to check that out in the next few days. Overall I keep as happy as I can by focusing on my blessings rather than my woes. I also love to test my brain and do crosswords, jigsaw puzzles, word scrambles and other such "games" to force me to focus on something other than my sad self. Feel free to try anything I have mentioned or change it to fit what will work for you. I am praying for you to find solace and peace. I hope you find some calm soon.

Jump to this post

@2011 panc.
Funny you should mention the puzzles and other things. That is what I am doing to keep my mind occupied also. My faith in God does help me with some of the sadness. I think it would help me more if I could go to church sometimes. I have tired journals and cannot keep up with them. Seems like I don't have time to do most things. I started recently on a Puzzle search item thing but when I try to wind down with it I always get interrupted..haha. Thank you for being so kind to answer. God Bless.

@grandmar

Hello!
You ask a very good question. It is one I have struggled with myself, many times throughout the years. I know I suffer from generalized anxiety, but I am beginning to believe I also am suffering from depression.
I have found that the depression is not constant, but can last for some time. I have also noticed, it is usually tied into something that happens in my life that is traumatic in some way.
Currently, I have been suffering from chronic pain without relief. I cannot do anything. I spend most of my days sitting in my chair. This, is very depressing for me. I hope once I have my lumbar shot, I will begin to come out of this depression. I will have to discuss this with my psychiatrist who manages my meds and probably go back into therapy.
There is one thing I found out about sadness, if I don't find the root cause, it doesn't go away. It is often something so sad, that I don't want to deal with the deep seeded root.
I, too, have a granddaughter (actually I have 3 grands but I only get to see one because the other 2 live far). When I am really down in the dumps, she lights up my life and puts a smile on my face and in my heart.
There is happiness, we just have to find it and work towards it.
Best of luck to us both!!
Ronnie (GRANDMAr)

Jump to this post

Hi!
I also have GERD and I had weight loss surgery so the meds I can take are limited. I cannot take anything that is an NSAID. I am able to take Oxy or Hydrocodone. I do not take it all the time and when I do, I only take one pill a day (although I have been prescribed for 2). Perhaps if you took something to coat your stomach, you would be able to tolerate something more. In addition, many meds today, can come with a stomach protection built right in. Another option for you might be to use pain pads or cream (or roll ons) that contain lidocaine.

I have always known that my grands are my blessings. Even in the throws of horrible pain, my granddaughter will put a smile on my face and in my heart. As a matter of fact, when I am down or having a bad day, I will ask my daughter to bring her over. Even just a few minutes is a temporary cure. Before my grands, my daughter's puppies filled the bill for comfort. They had a sixth sense when I didn't feel good and they would cuddle.

Feel good and have a great day!
Ronnie (GRANDMAr)

Liked by Parus

@littleonefmohio Is there a way you can volunteer at your granddaughters school? Plan a weekly tea party for you, and your granddaughter. maybe just little simple things for you to do together? . That way you can have something to look forward too. Having something that makes you happy to focus on can help? The notions of planning activies together with your Granddaughter will help you pass the time.

When I was diganosed with 2 primary cancers at once. It was really depressing to be told that. I love traveling. Even feeling horrible from the H-pylori and the severe Gerd I had going on. Traveling to local places and afar gave me something else to focus on.

@travelgirl

@littleonefmohio Is there a way you can volunteer at your granddaughters school? Plan a weekly tea party for you, and your granddaughter. maybe just little simple things for you to do together? . That way you can have something to look forward too. Having something that makes you happy to focus on can help? The notions of planning activies together with your Granddaughter will help you pass the time.

When I was diganosed with 2 primary cancers at once. It was really depressing to be told that. I love traveling. Even feeling horrible from the H-pylori and the severe Gerd I had going on. Traveling to local places and afar gave me something else to focus on.

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Jackie
I am so sorry for what you are going through.
You are a strong person with a great attitude! I admire that!!!!!
One other suggestion of something you can do that my granddaughter and I love. Play spa. We put on makeup, do our hair and our nails. This does not require any standing and can use up a good bit of time.

Wishing you well!
Ronnie (GRANDMAr)

I can totally understand and relates in many ways big time as a primary caregiver for 2 there's not enough room to be happy and when you try to reality kicks in just keep on focusing on your grandchild or your grandchildren gardening whatever it is you like even if it's for a little bit make that time that you feel better stretch and find the time or try to find the time to keep doing those things that make you feel better cuz honestly it doesn't matter how many therapists or how many professionals one sees it can't change some of the hardcore realities of Our Lives by encourage you to look at the Sun and take in the light I encourage you to look at a flower and smell it and touch it and feel it I encourage you to take time with your grandchild and if nothing else just observe and listen to their voice taking their smell and make that last in your brain so then when your brain is off in darkland you can come back to those things that make you smile also do the music put on the music you love doesn't matter that other people don't like it too bad for them this is about you put on comedy watch things that make you laugh go to movies read books that you can in between I take my books a lot into the loo I get a lot of reading done in the loom it's one of the few places the most of the time people can get to me and have me do more work as for the news don't read it don't look at it because if you need to know about it you're going to know about it one way or the other you will find out about it if you need to so why I find out about it when you don't need to for example I don't listen to the news unless I have to turn on the radio station that gives me updates on traffic was also gives me updates on the news it's not going to solve all the problems and it's not going to make us feel better all the time we do can change things one of the other things that I do is that I like really good coffee and I don't spend money on myself too often but what I do get is the type of coffee that I like and I grind the beans and I enjoy a good quality coffee as opposed to the instant Brands and all that other non real stuff LOL I know I've been going on and on just do the little things to keep your sanity into keeping the beat I know it's not easy trust me I know I'm with you on that I hope this helps a little bit and I'm sorry that I've gone on and on.

@curlysunflowers

I can totally understand and relates in many ways big time as a primary caregiver for 2 there's not enough room to be happy and when you try to reality kicks in just keep on focusing on your grandchild or your grandchildren gardening whatever it is you like even if it's for a little bit make that time that you feel better stretch and find the time or try to find the time to keep doing those things that make you feel better cuz honestly it doesn't matter how many therapists or how many professionals one sees it can't change some of the hardcore realities of Our Lives by encourage you to look at the Sun and take in the light I encourage you to look at a flower and smell it and touch it and feel it I encourage you to take time with your grandchild and if nothing else just observe and listen to their voice taking their smell and make that last in your brain so then when your brain is off in darkland you can come back to those things that make you smile also do the music put on the music you love doesn't matter that other people don't like it too bad for them this is about you put on comedy watch things that make you laugh go to movies read books that you can in between I take my books a lot into the loo I get a lot of reading done in the loom it's one of the few places the most of the time people can get to me and have me do more work as for the news don't read it don't look at it because if you need to know about it you're going to know about it one way or the other you will find out about it if you need to so why I find out about it when you don't need to for example I don't listen to the news unless I have to turn on the radio station that gives me updates on traffic was also gives me updates on the news it's not going to solve all the problems and it's not going to make us feel better all the time we do can change things one of the other things that I do is that I like really good coffee and I don't spend money on myself too often but what I do get is the type of coffee that I like and I grind the beans and I enjoy a good quality coffee as opposed to the instant Brands and all that other non real stuff LOL I know I've been going on and on just do the little things to keep your sanity into keeping the beat I know it's not easy trust me I know I'm with you on that I hope this helps a little bit and I'm sorry that I've gone on and on.

Jump to this post

@curlysunflowers Oh you are fine not going on and on. I do love flowers and making my yard look nice but with the Gerd I cannot bend over and my lower back problems. I really hate that too. Love listening to the bird sing. I do keep my focus on the grandbaby as much as I can. I never go anywhere except the grocery store and on occassions I might go out with my sisters but for the most part I am a home body. I go to the grocery store. haha.. Anywhere I go you can guarantee I always come right back home. It's my safe place. My anxiety keeps me from going too far away for too long. Thank you for your help God Bless.

Liked by Parus

My home is also my safe place. Sadness is something many of us know well. @curlysunflowers Totally agree on quality coffee. My treat to myself and I like it black. I do not drink coffee a lot due to nervous system issues and fibromyalgia.
It is the little things in life that makes life special even in the dark of sadness.

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