How do people handle the losses in aging?

This is a difficult topic, isn't it?

At 60, I knew I was getting older and slowing down.

Then I had a stroke.

As I say, my life didn't end, but it stopped. My independence, my career, my hobbies, and many of my relationships ended right there. The question was: Where do I go from here?

5-1/2 years later, I'm still working that out.

Some of my experiences, decisions, and thoughts are on my YouTube channel, "From Recovery to Discovery." Please have a look and see if any of it is helpful.
https://www.youtube.com/@srlucado/videos

I was speaking with my PA at a Wellness Checkup yesterday. Losses come in many forms, as you inferred. I am a recent widow and that is a day to day strength of spirit loss. Living alone, cooking for one, the quietness of life. I try to move forward by being thankful for what I have. It's comforting to me to keep in touch and give support to others who are facing challenges. Acceptance, being a "giver" ,and moving on, have all been helpful to me. Good luck.

@sharnie Did you talk with your PA yesterday about losses? It's so good when our primary care providers are interested and listen to what's happening in our lives so that they can put that information into the Wellness "bucket". Losing a partner/spouse is so difficult. By "giving" with others do you do volunteer work?

Hi Jillianna,
I hear the despair in your words and am so sorry you are having a difficult time. You words "things that I 'looked' forward to and 'dreamed' for..." indicate, to me, the past tense. I understand life is complicated and plowing ahead can be almost impossible, given certain situations. But, it is those things we look forward to - at least in my opinion - that keep us going. Don't abandon your hopes and dreams. I know, it is easier said than done. Coming to this group shows me you do have a ray of hope within you. Don't give up, try to hold on to your dreams/goals, no matter how small and know that you are cared about.

What I am dealing with is pretty heavy and deep. It seems as though all of the losses throughout my life are coming back to haunt me. Some of the more recent losses, some of which are fairly dramatic, seemed to have pushed me over the edge. I have been in therapy for most of my life, and I recently returned to a therapist that I connected with. I have also reconnected with a former psychiatrist.

Fortunately, I have not lost my spouse, but I have lost some close family members - but that is a somewhat complicated story.

My biggest loss has been my husband. We were together for 62 years, 59 of them married. I absolutely know that a part of me also died when he did. I am still having a very hard time dealing with all of this. I am also losing family and old friends due to death. We have lived a long time and it is almost time to go. I will be 90 years old on my next birthday which is not far away. But I can still function independently and I do. In fact I am preparing to go on a short cruise with a friend. It will be a nice break. I have slowed down somewhat but that is because I do not want to do something silly and hurt myself. My greatest fear is that I will not be able to continue in my independent state.

i pray and focus on finding different activities that i can still do

I visit, call and send handmade cards

Wow “ my life didn't end, but it stopped” you just described exactly how I feel. It’s so hard when you and your life changes over night. I’ve been struggling with this for three months. I do not know how to let go of who I was and who I thought I would be at this age. Although my health issue is not life threatening it has changed everything about me and my daily life. The mental aspect of this is debilitating. My close family and friends do not understand this.
I understand you and can relate. So sorry for the difficulties you are dealing with.

Thanks.

You know, one of the first things I did (and I mean literally, within hours) was to start tracking what I had to be grateful for. With some effort, it became a pretty long list.

When I get discouraged by pain and frustration, I go back to the list. I try to keep in mind that things could be so much worse.

By accident, I have found a new mission. As I was telling people about my progress, I kept hearing "Your story is so inspiring!"
That's what led to my YouTube channel, and it has also given me the opportunity to reach out to groups to encourage others. I never saw that coming. It didn't happen overnight -- it took years.
Here's one example of how that worked out: