How do I love myself?

@solidaritysoul, you ask a very good question: How do you love yourself?
It seems like a simple question, but the answer has many layers and is different for everyone.

First of all, I want you to know that you're not alone. It's not uncommon for people of any age to ask that question, to feel unworthy of love or to find it impossible to love themselves. Coming out of that hole is hard to do alone. But you've taken the first (and hardest) step -- asking for help.

I recommend that you reach out to someone to talk with who can help you find your answers. You don't have to do it alone.

There's a national organization called NAMI (https://www.nami.org/) that has chapters in each state, for example here are the websites for
Minnesota https://namimn.org/
Wisconsin https://namiwisconsin.org/
They also have Campus Clubs at some high schools. You can find your state or even your high school here: https://www.nami.org/kids-teens-and-young-adults/youth-and-young-adult-resources/nami-on-campus/nami-on-campus-high-school/

Here's a page just for teens
https://www.nami.org/kids-teens-and-young-adults/teens/
I don't want to overwhelm you. I send all these links so you can see there is help out there.

I'm glad you can talk to your mom. Sometimes it can help to also talk with a counsellor or a group. What do you think?

It sounds like you are struggling under the weight of some tough feelings.
I’m much older than you and I struggle with this.
One thing I can tell you is that you already have some amount of self love inside of you. The mere fact that you are reaching out for help demonstrates that you are trying to help yourself, which is a reflection of self love, or at least self care or self preservation.
Here are two suggestions I can offer: one, use cognitive therapy tools to examine your negative thoughts behind your feelings of self hate. There is a great free app called Feeling Great that is based off the work of Dr. David Burns, a renowned psychiatrist. You may find that changing your thoughts will change your feelings of self-hate.
A second idea is, don’t try to switch from self hate to self love right away. Can you find something in the middle? Can you find something about yourself that is okay or tolerable? If you enjoy yoga, you may like the practice of Ahimsa, or the concept of non-harming. This applies to our inner experience as well as the external world.
Finally I wish you well and please know you are not alone. I hope you find a better path forward soon, but it can be the work of a lifetime. I know it sounds corny but there is no destination, it’s all the journey.

Keep talking to your mom, especially if things don’t improve on your own, and ask her to help you seek professional support if needed.

@colleenyoung I had a therapist but she left me, I have had several therapists and even talked to my school counselors which is why I am reaching out in this group so that I can get ideas and start bettering myself.

@ashleyharris728 Thank you, I am just trying to better myself for my siblings and family.

solidaritysoul, hi. Welcome to Connect. I so like your question. Like Colleen, I see loving yourself as having very different meanings. I like your mom giving this advice, but your question, even more than deserving an answer, is a brilliant response.
Loving yourself can be taking care of yourself by making sure that you take in food with an interest in your health, exercising, getting enough sleep, taking time and care with hygiene and seeking medical care, studying intently, learning a skill that will keep you both independent and powerful enough to help other people.
When you care for others, you'll become someone who likes themselves, which seems to me quite different than loving oneself.
I think the path to liking who you are and to happiness is to be aware of and kind to others.
You might start with your mom. Make a list of the things that she likes. Think of ways that you can make her days a little easier. It isn't so easy to raise a teenager, Keep talking to her about these ideas of liking oneself.
One more thing to be aware of is that hormones start to shift around at around the age of fifteen and can create an emotional turmoil that is difficult to anticipate.
Bless your life with goodness.

What mascarades as love is self indulgence in things that are in the end self destructive and often not healthful for others in our lives.

@gently thank you so much, I am going to make lists tonight about some of the people I look up to and write about how I feel about them with positive terms then do the same to myself.

solidaritysoul, excellent. I knew your direction by you chosen sobriquet. I predict a very good life for you. Respect is another interesting concept. Part of it has to be looking again or maybe looking carefully. But how do we show respect.

@solidaritysoul @solidaritysoul those are beautiful goals! I hope you are able to deepen your relationships with these very important people in your life.

At the same time I would encourage you to love (or accept) yourself exactly as you are. You don’t need to be perfect to deserve love. You can work to better yourself, while still knowing you are worthy of love.

Best wishes

@solidaritysoul maybe also do the things you feel are important for your “family and siblings” for yourself. You are after all more important than anyone else. Try developing some positive affirmations to help your daily journey achieve an upward spiral.