How can I help my friend who has colon cancer? She is in Minnesota

Maybe you can't be there physically, but you can offer spiritual and moral support by being available.
If your friend needs to talk, then listen.
If she is afraid, encourage her.
If she is sad, reassure her.
If she's angry, be compassionate.
If her spirit weakens, ask God for help.
If she's irrational, be patient.
And if it's her time to go, be comforted knowing that you were her friend to the end.

There is a Mayo Clinic in Rochester MN. That is about 90 miles south of the twin cities. Maybe a friend or the neighbor could help her get an appointment there. They are the best medical center in the entire USA. I wished I lived closer so I could go there. I live in Washington State.
I agree with Scott's suggestions. Very good ones that will help, I'm sure.
In the meantime, say a prayer for your friend. God will be there for her. I'll say a prayer for her also.
PML

Bless you for reaching out for her. Have you spoken with her? It was almost one year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. At the time, I was unemployed, uninsured and depressed. It just is a lot. If it weren’t for my friend (who lives in another state), I would most likely not have made it. Just check in on her often. For a patient advocate, her cancer center should have a social worker and/or nurse advocate; although she will always be her best own advocate. She should contact the https://colorectalcancer.org/ and https://bluehq.org/.

❤️

Scott, beautiful words of encouragement. We video call and remember our overseas trip a lot. We laughed all around the world many years ago, just like it was yesterday, both of us. It is very hard trying to encourage someone all the time. I am always there for her. I am reaching out to her estranged family, nothing yet. Thank you 😊

Talk to her with words of encouragement. Unfortunately, colon cancer does happen and the average person lives 14 months.

@lynnebgraham

Where in Minnesota does she live? How old is she and does she have any local church members/friends/family who can help her? I know she feels really vulnerable and scared now.

I would think the oncology team and hospital has a support team and treatments for your friend after surgery. She may not know all about what is available because she is probably overwhelmed with everything.

You may want to ask her if she has anyone who could help her be a patient advocate and she may want to ensure she has a healthcare power of attorney legal document and living will to help ensure her wishes are included in her care pre and post surgery.

1. https://www.solace.health/state/minnesota
2. https://namimn.org/support/information-and-resources/advocacy-resources/
3. https://www.cms.gov/medical-bill-rights/help/guides/patient-advocate
4. https://mn.gov/dhs/people-we-serve/adults/health-care/health-care-programs/programs-and-services/ombudsperson-for-managed-care.jsp

"For a patient advocate, her cancer center should have a social worker and/or nurse advocate; although she will always be her best own advocate."

Yes, you can contact her hospital by email or phone and ask for help from the social worker or patient advocate.

If no response, post the hospital information here.

Reading the follow up comments, I wanted to add- definitely be supportive but not too assertive. I have a very strained relationship with my small family and did not involve them in any way (they did not even know I had cancer until I had good news after treatment) which is why having a friend is so valuable. She can also get a “buddy” through the Colorectal Alliance- someone who has gone through it so they are familiar with the process.

You could also (if possible) try to visit, but do not offer unless it is something you can do. Minnesota is lovely in the summer and fall.
https://www.cancare.org/

Please give more information about her specific location in Minnesota, age and medical history if you are able. Some of us actually live here!

Moreover, we may be able to help her ourselves or know of individuals, groups and organizations close to her who can be of help. There are resources.

While it's extremely uncomfortable to say, what concerns me most is that she's isolated herself and gone against medical advice - as if she's preparing to die. That is her choice, (which those who care want to ensure it is a well-informed one) but even so, there are resources that can help with that process of dying.

My apologies for my directness - that's what I gather from the limited information given. I'm sorry for the whole situation.

Yes, we need more information to be of help.

For the record, I myself am a survivor of colon cancer and chemotherapy - I'm 50 months post surgery, I'm proof there is hope - especially if the cancer has not spread elsewhere.

Once again, sorry about your friend.