Hope in the face of adversity

I spent time with family and friends yesterday.

Today I was thinking of hope.

I find my personal relationships fuel me with hope. They give me reasons to keep going on in life, to be a better person to give and love. I feel like I belong and I give value in ways others don’t see. My future matters and it also gives me hope to spend time and space with them in the future.

It reminds me if I’m looking for hope I can always turn to my loved ones.

As @northoftheborder talks about building a fire ……. sometimes my kindle is the love I receive from others.

As a Christian, my hope is in the hereafter.

After being diagnosed with prostate cancer five years ago, I didn't expect to live this long. However, I felt that any retreat into one day at a time was counterproductive. To the extent possible, I try to live life as before, including the future. Since my cancer diagnosis, I have moved to another state & bought a new home about the size of my old one. Despite advice that buying a two-story house increased my risk of falling, I did so. I don't want to live my life in fear or depression. Living literally one day at a time seems to me to be retreating into depression. Someday there will come a time (cancer or age) when I will have to make reasonable changes, & I do think about that occasionally.

I hope when the day comes that I have to make adjustments, that I will treat that as the new norm, & continue on. My mother gave up near the end. I hope I'm not going to fight for every last breath, but I don't want to just give up.

Maybe that's my idea of hope here on this earth.

@sistermarcy
Thank you. 😊

Hope is a virtue often difficult to maintain in our cancer journey. And as the wise writers ahead of me have stated grief and sadness are sometimes the reactions we feel. I’m one who “enjoys” a good cry, even sobbing. My religion calls this the “gift of tears.” So many of the Saints spoke of this. Yet, often HOPE follows. Hope is a faith that sees the future as one where love and light overcome the pain. In my mind I try to take each day as a gift and do what I can to help others in little ways…Each of us has been given life for a reason. I believe it is to scatter blessings along the way like seeds we hope will grow in our path.

@scottbeammeup I absolutely agree with your beautiful statement: "hope isn't necessarily hope that everything will have a good outcome but, rather, that with love and support we can hope to get through almost anything."
For myself, I don't try to stay "positive" because I've had 71 years of changing emotional weather (which I enjoy, as it allows for joy, sadness, and honesty as needed). I just tell myself to "stay real" or to be myself. Thanks for your comment here!

My hope this year is directed towards other people. I've been improving slowly and my cancer is in remission, but two other dear friends aren't as lucky. One has ovarian cancer that has spread to her brain and the other is currently being treated for lymphoma. My friend with lymphoma has a good chance of beating it, but my friend with ovarian cancer is not going to be as lucky and she knows this.

Both have asked me, separately, how I stayed positive during my treatment and I was honest with them and told them that, at times, I didn't. I told them that I find hope in music and that depressing music can be very cathartic and help get out all the bad feelings.

My friend with ovarian cancer knows her time is limited and I shared with her something I heard on Anderson Cooper's grief podcast. It's from a poem called "Love Letter From the Afterlife." by "Andrea Gibson." The line I shared is "Why did no one tell us, that to die is to be reincarnated in those we love while they are still alive?" She eventually read the entire poem and said it provided some comfort. (Here's a link for anyone interested: https://andreagibson.substack.com/p/love-letter-from-the-afterlife).

I'm not trying to sound morbid here but hope isn't necessarily hope that everything will have a good outcome but, rather, that with love and support we can hope to get through almost anything.

@azsunshine7 relish the seconds. You worked hard to earn them.

@tomrennie

I feel like I’m trying to make it through the seconds right now.

There’s so much to do yet.

My hopeful holidays have been going great though.

I’m so grateful for today and being with the people I care about.

I want to express my gratitude for this connection group too. Thank you! 💜🌟💜

@treehouse5437 Sometimes, taking things one day at a time can be too overwhelming. So, I focus on one second at a time. If I can make good seconds, then I can try to make a few good minutes. Hopefully, I can make good minutes into a good hour and make good hours into a day. Focusing on seconds allows me to live in the moment. I don't get too far ahead of myself with negative thoughts or energy. I also only look forward. I can't change what is done. Why get consumed with the should haves, could haves, would haves, and didn'ts. They are done. I focus on what I can do this second and moving forward.

Thanks for this thread. I kept hope alive in 2021 through a stage 4 cancer diagnosis, paraplegia (now largely resolved), and a series of post-surgical complications. It wasn't easy, but it was worth it.

Hope with cancer is exactly like building a fire: you start by lighting a little tinder, and cautiously nurse the glowing embers: blow on them too hard and they'll go out (but if that happens, you just go back to the beginning and try again).

After a while, the kindling on top of the tinder starts to smoulder in a few spots, and a couple of small, tentative flames pop up and spread. You can blow a little harder on it now, and maybe even grab the bellows.

And then, suddenly, miraculously, the big log on top of the pile bursts into flame and the room is filled with light and warmth!

Hope with cancer isn't easy at first, and the benefits aren't immediately visible, but persistence and patience bring their rewards.