Hemorrhoid hell

I have no idea what to do with this horrible thing. I think it might be internal/external, it came out of nowhere early July and I've been trying to resolve it. I lost over ten pounds changing my diet trying to figure out this stinking fiber thing and then I started to lose hair in October because of the sudden weight loss! And this stupid thing won't GO AWAY. I'm too old for surgery, I've read that people my age DIE after removing these things!! WHAT SHOULD I DO I DON'T KNOW!