Getting sick during treatment

My doctor advised me to follow Covid exposure guidelines. I limit my social encounters, practice distancing, and wear a mask in group settings. I have Follicular lymphoma. Treatment involves infusion with the R-CHOP bunch of drugs. That's designed to essentially wipe out my immune system, leaving me vulnerable to infections of all kinds. The next day I get a shot of Neulasta, which jump-starts my bone marrow restore my immune response. I'm not sure whether or not people taking radiation should expose themselves to other people. After a PET scan, I was told to stay away from anyone who might be pregnant, or planning to become so, also small children.

Dealing with family members can be a problem. My oldest daughter, her husband, two teenage grand daughters, and two cats came for a week long visit with my youngest daughter. We saw them every day, went out to eat several times, and had an enjoyable visit. I avoided hugs, did a lot of hand washing. They drove from Denver, CO to Mobile, AL , so I could hardly say no. Family members don't always understand how tired someone receiving chemo can get, and I bet that radiation is even worse. Maybe it would be better to wait and celebrate remission.

The patient comes first, always. I love my family, but was glad to see them go after daily visits for a week. They don't know what it's like. My wife's best friend calls every day to see if we can come and pick her up for a visit. I keep telling her that she can't come until late fall, maybe. I have co-taught a Sunday School class for many years, but told them I can no longer do it. Even a common cold could land me in the hospital in intensive care.

Hi @vickie1320 Your husband's immune system will certainly be taxed so it is best to avoid crowds, keep clean, and try to eat well, which eating may become an issue. Anyway, family visits perhaps outside, perhaps for a short time. Family means well and it is important but unless they understand that there is a patient here who needs space, they should probably stay away. No going out to eat, no crowds in the living room. As time goes on, certainly by the third week of radiation, and even sometimes with the first round of chemo, he may not be in the mood for company at all. And I think I can safely say, you probably won't be in the mood for company as well, unless it's just one on one with a best friend or close relation. This is a battle your husband is going into.
Side story: I hadn't smiled or laughed for a few weeks and my daughter and wife were becoming concerned. So my daughter got hold of a Pink Panther DVD with Peter Sellers. Well, I don't care how rotten you feel or how much physical pain there can be with a laugh, but it is quite impossible to watch this nonsense and not have your spirits raised to a level not seen in weeks.
Good luck to you both. I am here for you.

Thank you all for your responses. I’ve decided no visitors. My one job is to take care of him and see that he has as little pain as possible. So, the visits will have to wait. Thanks again! Vickie

It is a difficult time, and until you have walked in our shoes, nobody really understands. It has been an interesting journey in respect to how others react. Some will reach out to offer encouragement, while others will simply avoid. And not only avoid, but actually get upset when boundaries are set. We live in an age where communicating with technology is readily available, and we learned to use that during Covid lockdowns. Zoom calls can help to send well wishes. We had a terrible experience with a family member. We had put our focus on getting through the treatment, and managing the recovery. We were very careful not to expose ourselves to Covid or any other viruses circulating during the winter season. I can tell you, at times it was very lonely. We finally slowly started allowing more time outside our home.. careful choices, but we managed. Our kids were amazing and with plenty of available tests.. would be sure to test if they came down with any symptoms before visiting. Good friends showed us a lot of compassion. Except… for one member of the family, the SIL. It’s a long story, but instead of testing upon coming down with symptoms, she diagnosed herself with deviated septum and allergies. I assumed she had tested because we had talked about that earlier... but after asking for a ride from me to an event.. the next day I received a group text saying… “bummer, just tested positive for Covid.. won’t be at lunch today”. WOW! Not even a phone call directly. She had “forgot” to replenish her home tests. She put us at huge risk, and showed no guilt at all about the stress that it caused. The only reason she tested, was that another friend told her that the people she had played pickleball with tested positive for Covid and that she should test. Needless to say, the relationship has suffered. It is interesting that a life threatening illness really allows one to look deeply at their life. I am not the patient, but I am the spouse and caregiver. I realize that relationships in our life need balance. When one gives too much, it attracts those that take more than they give. When illness strikes, and one goes inward to the battle at hand, and stop giving to others, even if temporary.. those that are the receivers or takers.. walk away to find their needs met by others. Strange? Yes. Nice? Not so much. True colours really come out during times of struggle, but the unfortunate part is, times of struggles is when kindness is needed the most. Build your support group, carefully … so when you need it, they will be there to lift you and help you, and not cause pain. There is too much to lose when you are battling cancer, and saving life is THE most important. Set your boundaries, very clearly, without guilt.

Thank you🙏