First anniversary Mom's passing

Hi @almostprairiegirl, anniversaries and celebrations can bring back those raw moments of grief. Members talk about this in this related discussion:
- Grief in Times of Celebration: The Empty Spot
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/grief-in-times-of-celebration-the-empty-spot/
In the picture you posted, I can see that your thoughts also venture to those joyous moments, the way you want to remember your mom. I hope that those moments become more frequent as life continues to wrap itself around your grief to cushion the pain.

Losing a parent is hard. Be kind to your inner child. I'm tagging other members like @hopeful33250 @queenb56 @lizny @harriethodgson1 @jakedduck1 @kdawn32 and others here who know first-hand about losing their mom.

I see that you are not only sharing your grief, but also your concern about your sister. Does helping your sister and nephew's help give you strength? Is this a role your mom used to fill?

I have severe anxiety and I just worry about everything. Mom was stoic and graceful

in reply to @almostprairiegirl I am so sorry about your loss, and while I do not understand exactly how you are feeling, I remember the first anniversary of my parents passing, as these things do tend to cement themselves on one's mind for a very long time. I could almost describe in vivid detail what I was doing, who I was with and what I was wearing on the first anniversary of my mother's death.
In my opinion, there is nothing wrong with being too emotionally expressive. I wear my heart on my sleeve, and just a week ago I started crying "out of the blue" at Walmart of all places. I went from aisle to aisle trying to find one of the many associates I know at this particular "Neighborhood Market" I shop, but failed, and ended up leaving and forgetting everything I had gone to purchase. You can have my ear if you want.
Take care

I'm going eat some of her favourite foods, do some of her favourite activities , write and we have Mass being said for her tomorrow night as well.
This whole week last year was brutal. This week my nephew was near crisis in his mental health journey. We are extremely close and share mental health struggles. So that was very very tough for me. My sister is so strong but she's said too many times this year that's she's getting close to breaking. And I just want to fix everyone. Mom would be so sad.

We "fixers" have a hard time dealing with situations over which we have no control, don't we. For one thing we tend to have a lot of empathy for loved ones in crisis. That can be a good thing but at the same time it can cause stress.

I remember after my father died, I realized that I counted on his being there more than I thought. I was facing a problem and my first thought was to call him and ask for advice. I think that's when my grief process actually began.

In the evening, my wife and I read a book together, taking turns reading a few pages. Right now we're reading a book by Dr. John Townsend called "Hiding from Love". It's been making me look more closely at how I was raised, as well as thinking about my past and present relationships. It's been a good starting point for my sessions with my therapist. Something Dr. Townsend writes about in all of his books is boundaries. In fact that's the title of a series of his books. Establishing and maintaining healthy relationships has a very real impact on our mental well-being. That includes boundaries with ourselves and boundaries with others. Very good, thought provoking reading. I recommend it to you.

Being empathetic can be a really good thing, but it has the potential to be a problem for us, something that has affected my life significantly.

I'd write more but lunch is on the table.

I hope that today the good memories you have of your mother will bring you a time of healing grief.

Jim