Mayo Clinic Connect
Does anyone have fibormyalgia and small children?
I have Lyme, which hid itself as Fibro for 12 years. I was just re-infected with Lyme last week – good times. My husband and I are undergoing fertility treatments, but sometimes I wonder if I’ll have the energy to be the mom I want to be. If that’s what you’re concern is, I completely understand. It keeps me up at night worrying that my kids (by fertility treatment or adoption) will miss out on things because I’m too tired. My game plan is early pre-school, networking with other moms and friends, and then during the summer, sending them off to back to back to back summer camps, with a vacation for the family somewhere in between. That way they don’t miss out, and I get the rest I need.
What are your concerns? I know I don’t have kids yet, but I’ve given a great deal of thought and consideration to the ramifications of my illnesses on being a parent, or the kind of parent I want to be. If there is any counsel I can provide, I’d be happy to.
I was just looking to see how others handle the situation. Any tips or adivce. I have learned that they get all my energy that they have. I do think sometimes that they are missing out, but thank goodness for my husband and wonderful family members!! I have learned to put what really matters first and the rest will still be there tomorrow! My kids are learning that I have good and bad days and seem to understand what a 4 and 2 year can.
Liked by janasr, Calley33
Hello Chrystine. I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia recently but I have had Chronic Fatigue for many years (diagnosed in 1996 or 1997 before Fibro was introduced). I had my first child in 1998. I have two children now and there were some tough times but even knowing what I know now I would never have made the decision not to have them. I stayed home with both my children for at least 9 months after their births. That seemed to help a lot because I could sleep (when they were sleeping;). Please feel free to ask me any questions you would like to know. I’d be happy to give you my point of view. 🙂
Liked by Calley33
Some tips I’ve learned:
Don’t expect to be supermom. They won’t care if you are supermom they care if you love and pay attention to them.
At the 1 1/2 to 4 ages we did a lot of drawing and games when things weren’t so good for mom. A sit down activity ;). They loved it. My son is still drawing to this day and somehow he can actually draw more than a stick figure unlike his mother. LOL
Learn to ask for help. Perhaps you already do but family and friends can give you a much needed break but you have to be able to ask. That one was especially hard for me. Still is in fact.
The laundry can wait. As long as everybody has clean socks and underwear we’re good. We did have a tub of water w/ tide and a bit of bleach that we put the babies things in so they wouldn’t mold or stain while they were waiting for one of my good days.
One of the biggest hurdles was doing errands with the babies. I was exhausted just going to the grocery store. Take advantage of the grocery stores that deliver for a fee. I find I actually spend a little less when I order my groceries online because I’m not grabbing anything I don’t need. And I get to spend that “extra energy” with my kids.
Those are just some of the things I’ve learned along the way and what works for me. Hope it helps!
Liked by Calley33, Tita
I think that children suffer dramatically when they have a parent that they end up caring for..just saying
Liked by janasr
Thank you for the responses guys! We’ve put off children for now, as I have completely relapsed. I’m going to the Pain Management Center at Dartmouth on December 5th, and I hope they have some more natural remedies than I’m using now.
I was diagnosed with Lymes disease , fibromyalga, rheumatoid arthritis, esonophilic esophigitis and a few more minor things in febuary of this year, I also have an 18 month old that is super active. I had no pains or symptoms before pregnancy and led a super active life as well. Once I gave birth it flared up my symptoms and I have been sick ever since. Im in chronic pain everyday , somedays I can’t even get out of bed . I’ve seen so many doctors and nobody can help the head pains, inflammation or severe joint pains. I do not have a huge support system and my husband who is an attorney is really busy. I have to say he is the primary caregiver of our daughter and it’s very upsetting. I never would have imagined being a mom would be like this . I have to say it’s very challenging and if you do not have support and an understanding boss your life with a child will be hard. Having children may make your problems worse, but that is something you have determine if yourphysically and mentally ready to endure. I love my daughter and she is the only thing in this world that keeps me alive. I know this sounds depressing compared to other peoples posts so I apologize, its not meant to be !
Liked by Tita
Wow!! lauraamiller- I thought I was reading something I read…
I have 3 daughters. 10, 8 & 13 months…my hubby works out of town…I was always in psi before my last pregnancy but it made it the worst on me..I have been sick ever since! 🙁 I was diagnosed with scoliosis and ra but I’m not sure that that’s “all” I’m dealing with!
The pain is so intense sometime that it makes me vomit! 🙁
Sorry to be so depressing too..but it’s not like we won the lottery or something 🙂
I do I do 🙁 my youngest is 13 months old
Oh dear hun, I hear ya. I have three young children 2 of whom have autism and I have fibro and am on dialysis and waiting for a kidney transplant. I sent you a friend request, I’d be more than happy to be available for your discussion needs.
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