Feeling down

How long have you known this person? Is this her normal persona? Does she regularly fish for compliments or feel insecure about herself? Is she at an age where she needs to feel good about herself and wants that support from others? Sorry about all the questions!

I don't think you're being overly dramatic and I can understand your feelings of hurt, especially since she seems to be aware of your health issues. It sounds to me (and I'm no expert so please take this with a grain of salt) that she is determined to stay young (you didn't mention her age) as long as possible and may have insecurities about her own health. It's great that she had a perfect scan -- whatever perfect might be! -- and takes no medication. As you said, good for her! I was a lot like her health-wise, but then along came osteoporosis, high blood pressure, high cholesterol and skin cancer. We've all been through that change in life, some just later than others.

I think your answer to her was just fine. Don't dwell on it, we all have "friends" like that. Such is life. Keep yourself surrounded by people who care about you, and about who you care!

Take care! 🙂

Your feelings are your feelings, no one can tell you if they are wrong or if they are right. It is your reaction to those feelings that matter. And right now they are making you feel down about yourself. Focus instead on all the good things you have going on. I’m always thankful that my feet hit the ground in the morning!
Whenever I get to feeling down because it seems like I was dealt a less than stellar hand, my husband always reminds me that you never really know the truth about what that person is going through, they may act like everything is perfect, but in reality they are having problems they don’t want anyone to know about.
Before you go to bed each night write down or say out loud to yourself, 5 things that happened that day that you are grateful for.
You will see that your life is full and you have much to celebrate.

She’s not insecure just doesn’t have empathy for others. I’m not sure I’d be friends with her except for history. We’re both in 60s and in great shape (except my bones lol).

dear nannygoat5, lilyann here, yep, lots of family members, never had what you would call friends, just aquaintances and believe you me........what i had to listen to.........and naturally of course when i got to speak a few words......it was....oh, i got another phone call on another line or someone is at the door or some other blimey excuse. i really have never been given the opportunity to state my case on anything. so yes, when i think about certain times i just cringe. wishing i said this or that but you know what i get to thinking...........someone up stairs holds my tongue. however, i do rant to my husband and you know men are so different, like my husband, things just roll off his shoulders. ha ha, but women..........its there for a lifetime. again ha ha

so sorry that you have a cardiac problem, when you know you have something it just plays and plays on your mind. just like when i was told i have 6 months to live.........well, my goodness, started to get rid of things and then she gave me another 6 months to live and you know what is so funny...........when i was still here at that 6 months..........i was the happiest camper...........because in my mind...........i don't want to know...........jesus knows and that's enough for me. so i told my husband do not ask.............yes...........it felt like some kind of cloud was lifted. now, the clouds are back because of a new drug RX'D. the side effects are awful.
so nannygoat5, i am hear to hear your story. gave you part of mine. i got lots of stories. octogenarian here. evidently you are a good listener and that is why your probably the only one that would listen to her. so i am wishing you wellness and happiness,

Well, this is a little related...Osteoporosis runs in my family, but I have known this and done everything I could to prevent it, but have it anyway. My youngest sister lives in CO and is fiercely protecting her health. She backpacks with her supplies and tent on her back in the
mountains to go camping. She has osteoporosis. I feel bad for her, but I got relief from the fact that if SHE got it, there was nothing I could have done to prevent it in myself. I felt light, I don't know how to explain it. I am upset she got it, but also selfishly relieved to know that was no way I wasn't going to get it. My other sister without osteoporosis doesn't flaunt the fact that she doesn't have it. I am happy for her. She has other issues;/

I guess my sister has empathy, and your friend doesn't. Maybe she was so excited to have a great health report, she couldn't contain it. People are complicated!

@nannygoat5

You know that she is self centered and has no empathy for others and her comments affect you so why continue to be friends. I would cut off her comments and be sort of aloof when she contacts you….you’re too busy to listen right now. She doesn’t have a perfect life. You just won’t hear about it.

I have dropped friends over the years because of their constant negativity and complaining…the opposite of what she is doing. . Don’t let anyone get you down. It’s hard to hear great things about others sometimes when you have problems..that’s human nature. Take care of your own feelings and talk with friends you know who can listen without dwelling too much on yourself. It’s okay to feel fragile and down at times …you don’t need anyone to make it worse.

FL Mary

Not long ago, I followed the YouTube channel of a man whose wife got early-onset Alzheimer's at 50. She has since passed. Anyway, she was an accountant in her career. Her husband said that one of her favorite sayings was "I have no room for any minuses in my life - only pluses."

Your "friend" sounds like a minus!

Is the complaint really about her friend or the fact that, unlike her friend, she has osteoporosis? Would her friend be expected to not ring the bell for being cancer free while she still has cancer?

I don’t have a cardiac problem I’m just comparing what she said to me to someone with a medical diagnosis

Thanks. It’s true - I have close relationships with all my children and their spouses (whereas her DIL is non contact with her) I guess I wouldn’t keep her in my life if it wasn’t for a long history . Guess I’m still coming to terms with being less than healthy as I’ve always seen myself as a warrior