Emotional health after cancer: How are you doing really?

Yes! Thank you for your story. By the number of responses, it appears you've really struck a chord.
My cancer diagnosis is quite new but the frustration is building already. Feels like I'm on an assembly line just following protocal. I'm unique and wish to be treated as so, not just another "case". I make excuses for the lack of compassion by reminding myself that all of these practices are overloaded, that the medical professionals must feel some frustration themselves when they don't have more to offer their patients. Like you said, the smallest touch, hug, listening ear can make such an impact.
My dog is such a source of comfort. I wish I could bring her to my appointments but in lieu of that I love your idea of making therapy dogs available to cancer patients.

Thanks so much! I will!

@cherylspizarny1957 I hear ya and I understand completely. I’m 8 1/2 years out and I still have trouble facing the fact that my life has changed and will never be the same.
You’re right about people not really understanding. I have many post treatment problems and I’m sure you do as well.
On the bright side, we are ALIVE!
Hang in there and fight the good fight. If you need to vent feel free to pm me anytime.

MOJO

It's been almost 2 yrs and I'm still not "ok" I'm changed in every aspect of my life. I'm not negative but friends & family think just because I had chemo all it well. Well, it's not!

amu45sin here. Iunderstand how you feel and it is normal.
However, oncologists don't have time, and are not trained in psychology. They need to get to the illness, and are not parapsychologists.
Does your health carrier have a mental health department?
If yes, please seek them out so you can get assistance. They are trained to help people.

This is simply the journey I am on. I believe that it is a spiritual journey. I have come to terms with my own death. Most important, my mindfulness has improved three-fold! I am glad for every moment. And that is how Apia’s feeling today,! (Not to diminish any very different feelings others have…)

I'll admit the cancer diagnosis was a surreal experience. The doctor brushed it off as a swollen lymph node, but I knew it was different. Two weeks later came the diagnosis, and as soon as I got it, I started reading up on the subject. Being 49 at the time, I believed I was going to be one of the lucky ones as the type of cancer usually hit smokers and drinkers, neither of which I do. I started emailing my experience to my family, including cousins, and the response was supportive. It didn't hurt that I included a lot of humor. How else are you supposed to cope with your mortality? My sister experienced a similar cancer, but she had already gone round one with breast cancer. She was quite shaken by the prospect of going through treatment and the possible outcomes. I've had a few scares in the past 19 years and there was nothing surreal about it. No one wants to go through it again, myself included. I hope you overcome the challenge and can make peace with your circumstance. Good luck!

@fight Yes, I echo what others have said. Please reach out to your cancer clinic and ask them for a referral. Most have a team of social workers there who can assist you.

That was a very sad thing to read what your primary doctor said to you. Do you think you can speak to him frankly and enlighten him that there are many times a patient needs some help that has nothing to do with tests or medications?
Ginger

I am sorry to hear this. Your cancer center should have palliative care, and your oncologist should be able to refer you. They can provide counseling, chaplains in some cases, possibly adjunctive therapies like acupuncture. A social worker in oncology might be a good choice. I'm quite surprised by your PCP. He was checking for an extreme mental health crisis and yet therapy is very supportive even in ordinary situations, let alone Stage IV cancer. Please do try and get some therapy--speaking personally it has helped me a great deal. Since my diagnosis almost 3 years ago of a rare and aggressive cancer I've been in therapy and as a result feel much calmer and life affirming. I was even able to make up with a difficult family member. Keep in touch and tell us if you can find some support. Thinking of you.

I want to share that I finally made it through an entire day without thinking about prostate cancer. Friday was a gorgeous spring day and I took my dog for a hike, went on a 15 mile bike ride, cooked some chicken and played some board games with my nephews. It sounds like a normal nice day and that's the point--this was the first time in almost a year this has happened. I hope my "new normal" includes more days like Friday.