Elderly aunt can’t cope with nephew’s cancer diagnosis

I’m so sorry about your brother. This sounds very sad and stressful for you, Experiencing your own feelings and having your aunt be inconsolable sounds like a lot to manage, Plus, being both of their caregivers! Man….does he have treatment options? Is there an organization that can help? I recently got home health services that takes some of the load. Does your brother have a prognosis?

I agree with @celia16. The answers to her questions will help you determine the next course of action. Cancers differ alot. Some have positive treatment choices. Medical insurance and finances are also important. Family therapy options are worth researching.

Thanks for the reply. Just saw radiologist and pet scan yesterday next week oncology for chemo. Everything happened quickly. It’s in his epiglottis and we think it’s confined. We aren’t anywhere near home health care needs or referral/ approval. We are just absorbing the news and making the rounds to the doctors.

Thank you for responding. Thankfully he has insurance. It’s really just the 3 of us navigating our way at the start of diagnosis. I was looking for the magic words to manage. My brother and aunt rely heavily on me. It’s fine to a certain extent but I need to focus on my brother and not worry about my aunt’s behavior. Worrisome
I spoke to them some today. Hopefully she will settle down.

I see. Hopefully, he’ll recover and continue living with your aunt. Maybe, part of aunt’s distress is due to fear she’ll be without her nephew for help. Maybe, if there’s a backup plan she’ll be comforted by that and not be so inconsolable. Caring for two people is really too much, based on my experience. Good luck with everything and best wishes for your brother in his treatment.

Yes, I’m sure you are right, thank you so much for the best wishes!

@777dogwood I’m just thinking and wondered if your aunt would benefit from some positive attention. She suddenly sees all this attention on your nephew and maybe would like some herself. Can you think of some car outings that might brighten her spirit ?

I went over there yesterday and did some things for her. She also saw how difficult it is to get things done. I think that was helpful. She can be demanding and doesn’t care what it takes. She can barely walk and has other health issues so she literally won’t go anywhere but the doctor. Thanks for the idea.