1. < Aging Well

Dying Well

Posted by happykc @happykc, 4 days ago

Does anyone know of a group, anywhere, who can support each other while dying in love and grace? I do not fear dying, for a number of reasons. It will come soon, and I hope I can welcome it, I've worked hard to get to this point. But this is the first time in my eight decades that I feel lonely. I would love to share feelings, experiences, etc. with other like minded folks, but no one in my periphery shares my joy at looking forward to the transition. Family would be horrified, friends terrified. I cannot discuss this with my therapist, he is terrified himself and would be sure I am depressed and possibly suicidal. I am not. I am not anxious to die, I love my life. I used to wonder why God kept me around so long, as everyone around me, even those younger, are passing. I'm thinking it might be the grand gift of the 'Golden Years', 'cuz I am loving these days! I am not anti aging, but have no interest in attempting to retain my youth or live forever. My attitude is "I'm ready whenever He is". Not a religious person, but one of great faith and spirituality. I've spent hours scrolling around to see if there is any entity, group or person who shares my feelings. All I find is stuff to support fear of death, and how to get over it. I'm over it, and have been for some time. I'm trying to age with love and gratitude, and meet the transition the same way. I live each day as joyfully as I can. I'm just kinda bummed that I have no one to share this joy with, who feels as I do. Life has taught me that shared experiences have such great value, but maybe not this? Maybe Mayo should consider a "Dying Well" support group. I can't believe I'm the only person out there. But if I tried to start one, OMG! Friends and family would plotz! I think I'm just tired of having to keep my feelings to myself. It's a long journey, and a great one, and I'd love to share with others like me, learn from each other, help each other along. Thanks to any who read this, and suggestions are welcome but don't be a wiseass.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Aging Well Support Group.

Mentor
Ginger, Volunteer Mentor | @gingerw | 17 hours ago
In reply to @rickcola "new to this group and find it very informative and comforting. could someone advise me how..." + (show)
@rickcola

new to this group and find it very informative and comforting.
could someone advise me how to go about getting a DNR and POLST,
i am in fairly good health but have had numerous experiences with dealing with
people that have been allowed to linger and suffer if not physically -mentally.
Time for me make sure my loved ones nor I go thru those dreadful times.
Thank you

Jump to this post

@rickcola Welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect.

As @cynthiaftaylor said, getting these forms are a simple task. Make sure they are the correct ones for your state! The link here is for California, and may not apply to you. Put into Google, DNR and POLST for [your state] https://emsa.ca.gov/dnr_and_polst_forms/

As a gentle reminder, make it clear to family, friends, and your medical team, of your wishes. Ask your doctor to make a note in your history with these decisions. Keep the original POLST form available for family to access if they need to. Recently, in a town close to us, there was an incident. Because the patient had a POLST, and the family member knew where it was and presented it to responding paramedics, patient's wishes were upheld.

For me, I have both the DNR and POLST registered with my providers. DNR is included as a line item on my medical alert bracelet.
Ginger

REPLY
2 replies
rickcola | @rickcola | 15 hours ago
In reply to @gingerw "@rickcola Welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect. As @cynthiaftaylor said, getting these forms are a simple task...." + (show)
@gingerw

@rickcola Welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect.

As @cynthiaftaylor said, getting these forms are a simple task. Make sure they are the correct ones for your state! The link here is for California, and may not apply to you. Put into Google, DNR and POLST for [your state] https://emsa.ca.gov/dnr_and_polst_forms/

As a gentle reminder, make it clear to family, friends, and your medical team, of your wishes. Ask your doctor to make a note in your history with these decisions. Keep the original POLST form available for family to access if they need to. Recently, in a town close to us, there was an incident. Because the patient had a POLST, and the family member knew where it was and presented it to responding paramedics, patient's wishes were upheld.

For me, I have both the DNR and POLST registered with my providers. DNR is included as a line item on my medical alert bracelet.
Ginger

Jump to this post

Thank you very much
Will definitely follow up on

REPLY
cynthiaftaylor | @cynthiaftaylor | 7 hours ago
In reply to @gingerw "@rickcola Welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect. As @cynthiaftaylor said, getting these forms are a simple task...." + (show)
@gingerw

@rickcola Welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect.

As @cynthiaftaylor said, getting these forms are a simple task. Make sure they are the correct ones for your state! The link here is for California, and may not apply to you. Put into Google, DNR and POLST for [your state] https://emsa.ca.gov/dnr_and_polst_forms/

As a gentle reminder, make it clear to family, friends, and your medical team, of your wishes. Ask your doctor to make a note in your history with these decisions. Keep the original POLST form available for family to access if they need to. Recently, in a town close to us, there was an incident. Because the patient had a POLST, and the family member knew where it was and presented it to responding paramedics, patient's wishes were upheld.

For me, I have both the DNR and POLST registered with my providers. DNR is included as a line item on my medical alert bracelet.
Ginger

Jump to this post

Thanks for adding that reminder. I keep a copy at home, and a photocopy in my car. My PCP has a copy in my files. In my state a photocopy of the original form is acceptable.

REPLY
edsutton | @edsutton | 2 hours ago

Some things I've done in preparation for dying:
A prepaid contract with the Neptune Society. All arrangements have been made and paid for collection of my body, filing of legal papers, funeral services and cremation. One phone call to the Neptune Society is all that is needed. < https://neptunesociety.com&gt;
I've made a simple box to hold my cremains with the cremains of by beloved dog, Hazel. I do need to talk with friends to ask their help in mixing and spreading our ashes along our favorite walk in the woods.
If I die first, Hazel's foster parents have agreed to adopt her.
I've completed the Get It Together notebook from Nolo Press. All the information and documents that will be needed to finish my business are in this book, in a fireproof container, and people know about it.
< https://www.nolo.com/search/products?query=Get+It+together&sub=www&gt;
I constantly try to reduce my possessions and bring order to what I keep. That's the hardest task!

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