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danybegood1
@danybegood1

Posts: 133
Joined: Feb 22, 2017

Down deep

Posted by @danybegood1, Aug 31, 2017

Hi, Dany here. Past 2 days dealing with neuropathic itch in my hands, which i can feel coming back. Have been out of it bc of Xanax. Not that my dr would prescribe it bc its the only thing that works. Dont know if thats bc im asleep or not. Haven’t taken my other meds bc well this itch kind of takes over and thats all i can think about.
Also, pretty depressed bc my daughter is going through enforced methadone withdrawals. She had 4 back surgeries before the age of 30. Messed her up. Now her doc is weaning her off bc “well, she should be better by now”. I hate drs.
And iam so lonely. My family consists of 3. My two kids and me. We all have diabetes, two have hypothyroidism, all take antidepressants. I cant get them to eat right. Iam so low i dont want/cant do dishes, cant shower, clean anything, brush my dog. And my son wont do anything unless i ask. He already feels like hes doing everything. I finally got my shower chair a few days ago, but not put together yet. My house is filled to the rafters with boxes that need to go to storage. I have no bedroom and no bed. All i want to do is cry but the tears wont come. All i see day in day out are my four walls. I want my things around me, my things. My little family needs help but i dont know where to get it from.
Any suggestions for this sad soozie?

REPLY

Hi Dany, @danybegood1,

In our time of such a tech-advanced society it has become so easy to slip into worrying about all that we don’t have, or don’t feel motivated to do. And with the challenge of dealing with a chronic illness, physical or mental, we almost feel “left out of society” or imprisoned at home. It sucks, I get it.

I have learned that taking it one day at a time, and more importantly, preparing a schedule or timetable of little tasks/chores makes me feel much better. It helps me feel like I have attainable goals, and there is a beginning and an end to the things I do at home instead of an endless circle of chores.
Setting small goals and attaining them can be an immensely satisfying process, and it’s more important than ever when you’re feeling down.
I know it isn’t that simple, but you must know that as a mother you are an amazing person to your children, regardless of how old they are, or their life situation and experiences. So it is just as important to take care of yourself as it is to help your children.
I’m tagging @hopeful33250 and @johnbishop for their insights and thoughts.

Hi Dany, @danybegood1,

@kanaazpereira mentioned something that also struck a chord with me…you as a mother are an amazing person to your children. Even though my mother has long since passed away, I still remember her strength holding my two sisters and I together through some difficult times. Have you checked to see if there is any local assistance that will help you? There are a lot of county, state and church organizations that may be able to provide the help you need.

Family Promise may have an affiliate in your area.
You can search on their website here: http://familypromise.org/find-an-affiliate/.
More about Family Promise : http://familypromise.org/our-story/

I know you are feeling down right now but there is hope in tomorrow. When I have my days and believe me I still have them, I try to focus on something in my life or someone in my life that makes me happy or just makes me smile. That can sometimes give me the extra boost I need. I find Dr. Amit Sood’s Stress Free.org website brings a smile on my face when I need one. Here’s a short YouTube video that reminds each of us of our true worth.

Hoping for a better day tomorrow for you.

John

@johnbishop. I didn’t think anyone noticed me anymore. I tried to get in touch with therapists on Friday but no luck. And to be honest, i just feel besieged, worn out, and worthless. My apt is unliveable. I hate it. How could anyone get well living here? I will try what u suggested. Thanks for noticing me.
Dany

@danybegood1

@johnbishop. I didn’t think anyone noticed me anymore. I tried to get in touch with therapists on Friday but no luck. And to be honest, i just feel besieged, worn out, and worthless. My apt is unliveable. I hate it. How could anyone get well living here? I will try what u suggested. Thanks for noticing me.
Dany

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@danybegood1

Here are some thoughts that I just shared with another member today, @mlbaier. Read through the post and see if it can help you.

Thanks for sharing your feelings with us today. Sometimes, just getting those feelings out in the open can be very helpful. I have learned one thing that I’d like to share with you: When your happiness depends on anyone other than yourself, you are setting yourself up for feeling unhappy. A proactive approach is most important for you right now.

I’d like to share a personal experience with you, the day before a major surgery I was feeling anxious. So I went through my church’s prayer list and sent 3 “thinking of you” cards to people who were on the prayer list. I felt much better after doing that.

Here are some thoughts: I realize that picking yourself up out of depression is easier said than done. Since you said, however, that you wish someone would call you, can you think of anyone that you could call right now and just admit to them that you need a little encouragement today? Or can you think of someone else that you could call who could use some encouragement today? Is it worth a try?

Teresa

@danybegood1

@johnbishop. I didn’t think anyone noticed me anymore. I tried to get in touch with therapists on Friday but no luck. And to be honest, i just feel besieged, worn out, and worthless. My apt is unliveable. I hate it. How could anyone get well living here? I will try what u suggested. Thanks for noticing me.
Dany

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@hopeful33250 @danybegood1 Teresa and Dany, When I have had bouts of depression in the past, I feel down that ‘no one calls me’ ebut yet I make excuses as to why I shouldn’t call someone. I would tell myself I would be a bother, they are busy, pretty much any excuse to not reach out to a friend or family member. A therapist had me set goals to become more involved with those around me. I would go to the grocery store and place an order at the deli counter.Then when served, I told that person I appreciated their assistance and wished them a great day. Or I’d ask for help getting something from the top shelf (I’m vertically challenged!) Just the smiles and thank you’s made me feel better. so I made the phone call to a long time friend and leave a message if she wasn’t there. It wasn’t long until I wanted to BE social again. Dany, have you tried any of Teresa’s tips? What is one thing that you can do to make your apartment better?Can you add a pretty picture or some flowers?

@danybegood1

@johnbishop. I didn’t think anyone noticed me anymore. I tried to get in touch with therapists on Friday but no luck. And to be honest, i just feel besieged, worn out, and worthless. My apt is unliveable. I hate it. How could anyone get well living here? I will try what u suggested. Thanks for noticing me.
Dany

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Hello @danybegood1, I was revisiting your post and thinking about what I said and didn’t say. I want to let you know that it was your post that gave me the courage to respond even though I didn’t have any answers. There is another active discussion that may interest you:

Nature and It’s role in your mental health
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/nature-and-its-role-in-your-mental-health/

I hope you are having a good day.

John

This is an older post. I so understand the feeling of being left out. I do have my watercolor brushes and even they are lonely…motivation has vacated the habitat. Not self pity. Reality. The Native Americans went off to die when they were no longer of use to their tribe. Okay, think happy thoughts. Not there today. I spent years people pleasing and now I cannot even please myself. My world has faded to gray.

Ok, guys. I’m not in a state of self pity, and I’m not sad because of “something I don’t have” unless it’s a friend I could go have lunch with or call on the phone. So, no, there’s no one I could call. My mom is dead. I have no friends. John, I’m so glad I could give you courage. Everyone needs courage. And acceptance, friendship, validation, and love. If you can’t get love, you definitely need friendship. Dany

Hi, @danybegood1 — thinking of you now in the new year and wondering how your holidays went. Are you still feeling pretty low? Did you find a therapist who might be a good fit for you?

@danybegood1 Same here…how are you doing? Hugs.

@danybegood1

Ok, guys. I’m not in a state of self pity, and I’m not sad because of “something I don’t have” unless it’s a friend I could go have lunch with or call on the phone. So, no, there’s no one I could call. My mom is dead. I have no friends. John, I’m so glad I could give you courage. Everyone needs courage. And acceptance, friendship, validation, and love. If you can’t get love, you definitely need friendship. Dany

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Hi @danybegood1 — same here, wishing you the best for this year. Virtual hugs from the frozen tundra…well, if not frozen, it’s certainly cold. To coin a phrase from one of our other members – you just have to keep swimming.

Take care,
John

@hopeful33250 You mentioned calling someone. If I were to call someone and tell them I need some encouragement it would result in being even more alienated because everyone is busy. If I had lots of money people would be coming around and calling. I am not in self-pity mode. I learned the hard way to not ask for help.
@danybegood1 Down Deep sums it up. I hope things improve. I mean it and I am not merely typing “pretty” words. Nothing more I can do and when I read the desperation of others I feel helpless because I can only type words. @kanaazpereira summed it up, “it sucks”.

Hi, @danybegood1 — I ran across your avatar (photo of you) while on Mayo Clinic Connect today, and it made me wonder how you are doing. How are things going with the depression and loneliness?

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