Does anyone else experience the inability to cry?

@hakablue
I have depression, anxiety, PTSD plus many health issues. I dealt with abuse/neglect as a child/teen plus parent abandonment. Trust issues and fear have been with me all my life.

I am probably one of the most empathetic and altruistic people you will meet. I love people and animals and feel pain when they suffer.

There are times I seem to not be able to cry when I am sad or hurt. I think I shut down my emotions for myself and masked painful feelings while growing up to survive and it is hard for me to connect to my own feeling for myself. I can easily cry for the pain of others but not for myself.

If you have numbed yourself to survive past pain, you need to tap into your past to feel what you did not feel when you needed to. I need to allow myself to feel my emotions freely and grieve my past to move forward.

I am in my mid 50s and continuously learning about myself each day.

1. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-doctor-is-out-and-about/202209/6-reasons-why-some-people-cant-cry
2. https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/why-cant-i-cry
3. https://www.verywellmind.com/reasons-why-you-aren-t-crying-5324069
4. https://psychcentral.com/health/why-cant-i-cry
5. https://www.psychvarsity.com/why-can-t-i-cry-psychology-behind-emotional-numbness-and-suppressed-feelings
6. https://www.wellandgood.com/health/why-you-struggle-cry

I can cry, but I believe that sometimes when having lived through trauma, especially when young, we develop certain "survival skills" because we have to. Also, I have heard that certain anti-depressants can attribute to people not being able to cry. Sometimes people that are "empathic" and take on the emotions of others can become overloaded. Empathy is a wonderful thing, however taking on others pain can take a physical and emotional toll. I think it is great that you are in therapy and so self aware. I have been in therapy for several years now and sometimes my body/brain just shuts off my emotions. I don't do this consciously. Other times, I get angry or fearful and then I do start to cry. Survival skills developed young have saved me but now I am looking at them and trying to "open" the many doors in the house of myself. Baby steps. Hang in there!!!

I don't cry easily and don't ever remember being a "cry baby" in my younger years. However, i do know that during my working and career days I may have a good cry lasting sometimes 2 hours. Something would trigger and I'd cry from my nose to my toes! It took me 7 months to cry after my husband passed and I knew exactly what the trigger point was. I do recall several times tearing up but withholding the big tears and sobs. Crying is such a great cathartic? I can feel myself getting worker up for one but I want the privacy of being by myself to do it. I know this makes no sense but.........

Your history mirrors mine, my mother was there but emotionally. I found out when I was 40 years old she knew all along what happened to me and chose not to seek help for me. I think the difference is that I feel compassion and empathy for people, but honestly deep down I hate people. I have no trust of others and never have had a close friend. There’s a brick wall around me that no one has ever penetrated accept for my amazing sister. She lives out of state but we speak regularly. When I think about past trauma I only think about what was my fault. I wish I could look back with calm thought and send them down the river. I’ve tried. I’m proud and stubborn and will not stop trying. Thank you for your kind words

I have almost no ability to cry anymore. I think it’s just all the years of pain, physical, mental, emotional, piled up. I can feel emotions, I can react to them, but I can count the times on both hands and have fingers left the number of times I’ve cried in the past 40 years. I think I just cried myself out.

Bipolar II with hypomania, PTSD

That’s exactly how I feel. The most prevalent emotion I have is anger. I’m a walking F bomb so I’m not always fair to others feelings and I talk a lot about this to my therapist because of guilt. I wish you the best and continue to persevere, you are not alone

You have very valid reasons to cry and privacy is your right. I agree with you work is awful and gets in the way of life. No one can tell you how to grieve, you do you. Thank you for sharing

Heck, hit the wrong key and lost everything. Will type it again in a bit. 🫤

And I never feel better after a “good cry”.