Depression hopelessness family division

I’m truly sorry for you having to go through this, how awful that your son can be so cruel to you and his children. I have experienced family trauma but it was for different reasons, however it’s painful. I think you should try to get your son to let you see your grandchildren because they have nothing to do with this situation and they’re being punished by his unreasonable behaviour. I also have grandchildren and if I have any issues with their parents I shouldn’t be denied seeing them. I dislike politics and all they do is cause problems in our lives, if the subject comes up I immediately put an end to it, nothing good ever comes from discussing it, with all due respect your son needs to get his priorities straight and never let anyone or anything get in the way of his family’s lives. Please stay strong and connect with other family members to help you get through this difficult time.

Thank you so much for your kind words. I agree with you that politics have no place in family or friends' gatherings. At 74 years old, my family is everything to me, and nothing could change my love for each and every one of them. Thank you, again.

@magskay
I am so sorry to hear this. It is sad to think that different opinions/perspectives would cause such a divide. It can be very painful.

My thoughts are that you give some space and time. How long has it been since the divide? Do you have any communication with your grandchildren?

Were hurtful things said between you and is it possible to mend the divide through apologies and mutual respect of boundaries? Could family counseling help you all work through how to re-establish the relationship with healthy boundaries?

@magskay
P.S. It is really important you take care of yourself physical and mental health during this period of time. Have you talked with your primary care doctor and/or psychiatrist about your mental health and treatment options to help you through this difficult time? Have you talked to a psychologist/therapist to help you manage and cope through this period? You do not need to suffer alone and in silence.

Feeling isolated out of the equation. Families are pillars of stability in most cases. They either rise to the occasion in loving support or turn a blind eye and ignore any thing outside their realm. Older people lived in a different era of a different time. These days are much different from days gone by. Norms have shifted. Attitudes alienated. It’s like the generation gap but more divisive. Polarizing to the point of families no longer seeing eye to eye but judging. Misconstruing things that bind us together or forever it will be lost and thinking that it’s alright. To let go. Importance of what once was is lost to things that now are. How can we overcome that. Social groups or platforms. Church groups or gatherings. Friends neighbors. Life is full of options at any age.

I have this issue but it has been with my husband. Too much focus on the news and politics . It seems this has taken over the American psyche. I have had to have therapy and learn from Dr. Steven Hassan PHd. I do not discuss the politics and news very much and am still working on decreasing it more. I am so sorry this situation has caused harm to your family. I am a trauma survivor. It is important to be to be involved in life affirming activities. To stay positive. One of the hardest things I have had to come to grips with is the current situation with the media and politics has the capacity to destroy. And I had to take a hard look at me and decide again what is and is not in my locus of control. I wrote this out on am app on my phone plus a list of cognitive distortions. Politics and religion are best left out of discussions.

By the way these comments have been very validating for me because my husband has said there is something wrong with me for not discussing the political situation or news. We cannot solve it so it is a waste of time plus I get to feeling hopeless too. I need time to care for myself and my health do what my providers say. If I get drawn into this stupidity my time is diverted from this. Surely despite the division and Polarization some of us can some things still in common outside of this and move forward.

Dear @magskay
Does the whole party of presents of families, moms & dad, grands, brother & sisters? Is that deep love? Usually, NO!

You have an 11-12 yo kid. My brother, Keith, who is to 50s can’t place time every thing with my other brothers. He has a mental health (that means a problem). He’s nice but can’t spend with another. He’s got a way to spend his time by himself.

Our families have/had problems like:
Me: brain-injury from a bicycle accident but married for 42 years
My 3 brothers: no marriage
Part of our families are gone
My wife families: big deal of chests/hearts but all are here, but the other 1/2 are done
and on…

Thx,
Greg D. @greg1956

Unfortunately, politics seems to have become a religion for some people, which means they're combining the 2 things that should never be argued at family gatherings, religion and politics.
Your son needs to grow the hell up, and realize what the most important thing in our lives is, our families. He's very lucky to even have one, so many people are alone and have no one else in their lives, and he's letting his ego and his pride overrule his feelings for his family. Either that, or he cares more about whatever political cause/movement he's wrapped up in than he does about his own mother and kids.
Life's too short for this kind of stupidity to tear a family apart.

I agree and have no desire to discuss it I just want to enjoy my family.