Dealing with Reluctant Spouse & Chronic Pain Mismanagement Locally

Posted by joko @joko, 6 hours ago

Two questions: Zoom appointments? And what would you do? Has anyone experienced online appointments (Zoom or other?) for a spouse who refuses to travel to Rochester, MN for an appointment? This is more about spousal relationships and not making decisions for an intellectually sharp mate who is in a great deal of pain. Neck and back nerve pain for whom has been prescribed gabapentin which does not seem to be working any longer. Local doctor told her in last appointment: "There's nothing I can do" and sent her to a PA (that's another essay...) I have had extraordinary positive experiences with Mayo in life-saving situations after poor second opinions. What would you do?

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nycmusic | @nycmusic | 3 hours ago

Absolutely, go for another opinion…it is your health, your life ! Good luck- may relief come soon !

gently | @gently | 3 hours ago

I find zoom appointments wonderful. Travel may add too much discomfort for someone already in pain. Treatment that may be helpful could require a visit, but those treatments would require a second visit anyway. There are a variety of injections that might be appropriate. If you (both) are looking for a medication alternative, that would be possible with zoom.
It's curious that the doctor would send a patient that they couldn't help to a PA. Where is that other essay.
Has your beloved been seen in a local pain clinic. Do you know the source (accident or injury) of the pain.
I have found chiropractic care to be helpful especially with diagnosis. There are probably clinics nearby.
It's quite nice that you are looking out for your person's best interest with respect for their intelligence and autonomy.

joko | @joko | 2 hours ago

Thanks for your thoughtful reply. The cause is compressed discs. Progressive. Her mother suffered from a similar condition. She did go to a pain clinic and met with some success with a pain specialist. She finds some relief in swimming in cool water pools several times a week and there are "waves" of this pain when some days are occasioning less pain. Her friends who have similar conditions talk about "injections" which I imagine are cortisone.

Zoom seems like a good alternative to start the process with Mayo, rather than the four hour drive, and I'll have to gently persuade her to pursue it. I've told her that you can deal with Mayo for the appointment, then remotely, and local doctors with whom Mayo has some relationship.

My essay on PA's is that their quality is inconsistent. I don't deal with them at all except as I would a nurse. I'm paying a premium for a qualified physician, and this is all business to me. That's why I recommend at least a second opinion on most critical health questions. Though I respect every doctor that I meet. No one has all the knowledge. Mayo is pretty terrific about "the latest" treatments and approaches though. Don't you think?

Sue, Volunteer Mentor | @sueinmn | 2 hours ago

@joko Mayo may not be your only option - can you find a pain management program or doctor locally? If you are in or near a larger metro area, that might be easier than convincing someone in pain to travel.
I have been through pain management, and although some appointments are remote, they needed to begin with an in-person assessment.

Phoenix | @kudzu | 1 hour ago

Definitely suggest a call to Mayo Clinic. In my experience, the first thing they’ll do is a teleconference before deciding to bring the person there.
I too go to Mayo for second opinions when I don’t feel like I’m getting good or reliable answers locally.
I use the Rochester location and have had positive experiences.