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complicated grief with living special needs child

Posted by @demelzabunny in Just Want to Talk, Jun 18, 2012

I have a 10 1/2-year-old special needs daughter who functions at about an 18-month-old level who is undiagnosed. Since she has some facial dysmorphic features, the doctors we've consulted with seem to think it's genetic in origin. I have been grieving the loss of my very-much-wanted "typically-developing" child since her birth. I've been in therapy for years and have been taking Lexapro 20 mg. for a few years now. These help, but I'm still unhappy and at times quite despondent. Anyone out there have a similar experience?

Tags: complicated grief, special needs child


Posted by @piglit, Jun 18, 2012

Hi demelzabunny. I feel so for you in this situation with your dear daughter. I worked for 7 years as a special needs teacher, I have only once experienced during that time working with a little girl same similarites of your daughter but younger. The program for her was a carer one on one at the school and me and another special needs teacher working with her as well. It is so natural for you to be feeling the way you do. May I ask if you have any other children. I feel that if you can maybe find an interest something that you find that you enjoy doing to concentrate on relief the stress You wiill at times feel lost with this situation and grief with the feelings associated with this, your a Mum and these are very real loving feelings that we all have there is always a special bond between a mother and a child. I am here anytime that you need to talk Take care Piglit

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Posted by @demelzabunny, Jun 19, 2012

Thank you so much for your kind words, piglit! (Love your screen name; too cute!) I have been involved in various interests, like participating in a knitting group, taking a course at night (just for fun) and volunteering at our local library. I've lately been working as a substitute teacher in our local schools, too, but nothing seems to be able to lift this heavy burden from my shoulders to make me feel "normal" to be able to enjoy life as I did before my daughter's birth. I do have a 22-year-old son at university, too.


Posted by @piglit, Jun 19, 2012

Hi demelzabunny. So nice to hear from you again. So glad that your keeping yourself busy so important to do this in life for all of us. I too have a 22year old son at university too. Try to stay as positive as you can and I can see that you have been achieving this and I'm always here anytime if you need me Talk soon Piglit


Posted by @china, Jun 19, 2012

so sorry. just pray

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