Cirrhosis of the liver and loved one ignoring it

Posted by prefernottosay @prefernottosay, Dec 23, 2024

Recently my spouse was informed that they have cirrhosis of the liver, and they believe they are fine and continue to drink cheap San Jaun rum. Granted their diet is nothing to be proud of either. When faced with all this it is just denial and "I'm fine." I am at a loss on what to do besides DIVORCE since I do not care to watch a loved one pass away from something they could prevent or prolong just by changing a few things. I am at a total loss.

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Scott R L | @scottrl | Dec 23, 2024

I knew a guy like that.
In total denial, or more likely, alcohol had such a grip on him that he'd rather die than give it up.

He got his wish at age 53.

Very sad.

I hope your spouse will repent, but if you can't get any change, that means the alcohol is more important than you are.

celia16 | @celia16 | Dec 24, 2024

I’m not familiar with that condition, but very sorry for your situation. While alcoholism is a disease, I’d still look out for your own welfare and obtain a legal consult so you know your rights and responsibilities. AlAnon might be helpful as well.

Do you know how advanced his condition is?

Teresa, Volunteer Mentor | @hopeful33250 | Dec 25, 2024

Hello @prefernottosay and welcome. I see that you have already had some responses to your posts. I'm sure this is a difficult situation for you to face. It is hard to imagine someone who does not take a serious health situation seriously.

As @celia16 said in her post, Al-Anon might be a good first step for you. You will meet others who have similar issues with relatives and friends. By attending these meetings you learn to take care of yourself and let go of the need to change your husband's poor health choices.

Here is a listing of Al-Anon meetings where you can connect with others
https://al-anon.org/al-anon-meetings/find-an-al-anon-meeting/
Have you ever attended an Al-Anon meeting?

prefernottosay | @prefernottosay | Dec 27, 2024

Thank you everyone. It is definitely hard to keep ignoring the issue. My wife does not want any other family members to know what is going on. She knows it is a serious issue and can kill her. I can even tell she is scared.

I am going to look into Al-Anon as a just for support group. I have no attended Al-Anon meetings specifically.

I do not have a need to change her poor health choices. There is a very big difference between a need and a want (or would like). I do not need anyone to do anything. I would like for her to care enough to want to change. I take care of myself by exercising regularly, eating right, and making sure I am in good health.