Cerebellar stroke experience, treatment, recovery - want to dialogue

@phughes814...Thanks....I think, lol. Just noticed your oneliner. And I liked it. 😊 Yeah, I'm here. But different. Believe me, each and every day I am grateful. Each new day is an opportunity to improve...and I don't mean only physically. As I make my way through my mental mud bog, I do not do great things, but if I can just do the little things well, I am satisfied...or should be. Blessings.

Ok. So. I feel a book coming on. Lol. If its TL...then DR. Just been thinking about my stroke. It will be 3 years in May. I was 57 years young. Was the day before mothers day. Happened around 6:20 am. Was at my kitchen counter and just happened to look at my clock. Being definite on time allowed for getting the TPA shot. Well, that and no bleed. If it helped much, I couldn't say for certain. Other than eyesight issues cleared up rather quickly. The left side experienced ataxia, not so much weakness as a lack of control, still struggling with that.

Anyway, this is not so much about the event, as it is about NOW. I got all the therapy I needed. Considering the size of stroke, and location, cerebellum, recovery was actually pretty good. As of now, most likely, many would not be able to tell. I mean, many people walk with a limp. Many walk with a slight stagger...(but they've been drinking, lol.) Many go out with less than lovely hair. Now that one does bother me.

Still finding my way back to Kansas. Still a bit flat emotionally. Still can't stop the tremor in left side which came well after the tsunami in my head. The tremor is most active when trying to stand still, hold a drink, do my hair, hold anything still. I find my shoulder blade hopping, left side, my leg bouncing, my arm twitching, knee giving out, repeatedly. Getting the @#%$ beads out of the silly putty is STILL a challenge. If I stumble, most likely I fall. Lost the natural reflex that will help regain balance. Gone. Still bite my tongue and cheek. Still can't appreciate a simple thing like a tasty meal. But most grieveous, still feel like an alien in my own skin. And THAT is the worst daily reminder of this life sucking, life altering, life suckin, (oh did I say that already???? Lol.) event.

Where have I gone? The me that felt enthusiasm. The me that enjoyed dinner guests. The me that played baseball with the littles. Drew and colored with them. The me that thrilled with each and every birth on the farm. Celebrated each childs milestones, and each of their childrens' milestones. The me that loved fresh air and exercise. The me that read voraciously, pursued learning because I loved it. The me that put pride and energy into refurbishing furniture, homes, planted huge gardens, canned and planned. Thrilied with a visit from relatives, and to relatives.Yep, that lady. She was so much fun. You might have liked her. Haven't seen her for about 3 years....and I miss her.

I know I have to move on. And I do. But I've changed, and not for the better. Oh no. But still, gotta make the best of life, such as it is. Do others feel this discombobulated? You know, I've never really talked with other stroke survivors. Maybe that's why every time I write a post it's 2 pages long. Maybe. JMJ. Blessings to all.

I had a cerebellar stroke about two months ago at age 51. I had a violent headache which I took for one of my migraines (the worst I had ever experienced). I then started experiencing vertigo (which I have never had) and then I became ill and vomiting. My wife suspected a stroke and called 911. I was tested in the hospital but they released me with no diagnosis of a stroke. Four days later I went to my Neurologist because I was having balance issue and numbness/tingling issues and he sent me for an MRI, which is when he found the stroke and checked me back into the hospital. I have sense gained most of my balance and coordination back (still have my moments) but I still have some numbness/tingling on my left side. They didn't find anything that caused the stroke, they have me on a heart monitor in case that could have been the cause but my chronic migraines/cluster headaches may have something t do with it as well so they are trying to control those as well. A very scary/traumatic experience and I feel very fortunate that I did not suffer a worse fate.

I don't know you JMJ but it sounds to me like she's still there. Enjoy every day you have.

Ok. So. I feel a book coming on. Lol. If its TL...then DR. Just been thinking about my stroke. It will be 3 years in May. I was 57 years young. Was the day before mothers day. Happened around 6:20 am. Was at my kitchen counter and just happened to look at my clock. Being definite on time allowed for getting the TPA shot. Well, that and no bleed. If it helped much, I couldn't say for certain. Other than eyesight issues cleared up rather quickly. The left side experienced ataxia, not so much weakness as a lack of control, still struggling with that.

Anyway, this is not so much about the event, as it is about NOW. I got all the therapy I needed. Considering the size of stroke, and location, cerebellum, recovery was actually pretty good. As of now, most likely, many would not be able to tell. I mean, many people walk with a limp. Many walk with a slight stagger...(but they've been drinking, lol.) Many go out with less than lovely hair. Now that one does bother me.

Still finding my way back to Kansas. Still a bit flat emotionally. Still can't stop the tremor in left side which came well after the tsunami in my head. The tremor is most active when trying to stand still, hold a drink, do my hair, hold anything still. I find my shoulder blade hopping, left side, my leg bouncing, my arm twitching, knee giving out, repeatedly. Getting the @#%$ beads out of the silly putty is STILL a challenge. If I stumble, most likely I fall. Lost the natural reflex that will help regain balance. Gone. Still bite my tongue and cheek. Still can't appreciate a simple thing like a tasty meal. But most grieveous, still feel like an alien in my own skin. And THAT is the worst daily reminder of this life sucking, life altering, life suckin, (oh did I say that already???? Lol.) event.

Where have I gone? The me that felt enthusiasm. The me that enjoyed dinner guests. The me that played baseball with the littles. Drew and colored with them. The me that thrilled with each and every birth on the farm. Celebrated each childs milestones, and each of their childrens' milestones. The me that loved fresh air and exercise. The me that read voraciously, pursued learning because I loved it. The me that put pride and energy into refurbishing furniture, homes, planted huge gardens, canned and planned. Thrilied with a visit from relatives, and to relatives.Yep, that lady. She was so much fun. You might have liked her. Haven't seen her for about 3 years....and I miss her.

I know I have to move on. And I do. But I've changed, and not for the better. Oh no. But still, gotta make the best of life, such as it is. Do others feel this discombobulated? You know, I've never really talked with other stroke survivors. Maybe that's why every time I write a post it's 2 pages long. Maybe. JMJ. Blessings to all.

Ok. So. I feel a book coming on. Lol. If its TL...then DR. Just been thinking about my stroke. It will be 3 years in May. I was 57 years young. Was the day before mothers day. Happened around 6:20 am. Was at my kitchen counter and just happened to look at my clock. Being definite on time allowed for getting the TPA shot. Well, that and no bleed. If it helped much, I couldn't say for certain. Other than eyesight issues cleared up rather quickly. The left side experienced ataxia, not so much weakness as a lack of control, still struggling with that.

Anyway, this is not so much about the event, as it is about NOW. I got all the therapy I needed. Considering the size of stroke, and location, cerebellum, recovery was actually pretty good. As of now, most likely, many would not be able to tell. I mean, many people walk with a limp. Many walk with a slight stagger...(but they've been drinking, lol.) Many go out with less than lovely hair. Now that one does bother me.

Still finding my way back to Kansas. Still a bit flat emotionally. Still can't stop the tremor in left side which came well after the tsunami in my head. The tremor is most active when trying to stand still, hold a drink, do my hair, hold anything still. I find my shoulder blade hopping, left side, my leg bouncing, my arm twitching, knee giving out, repeatedly. Getting the @#%$ beads out of the silly putty is STILL a challenge. If I stumble, most likely I fall. Lost the natural reflex that will help regain balance. Gone. Still bite my tongue and cheek. Still can't appreciate a simple thing like a tasty meal. But most grieveous, still feel like an alien in my own skin. And THAT is the worst daily reminder of this life sucking, life altering, life suckin, (oh did I say that already???? Lol.) event.

Where have I gone? The me that felt enthusiasm. The me that enjoyed dinner guests. The me that played baseball with the littles. Drew and colored with them. The me that thrilled with each and every birth on the farm. Celebrated each childs milestones, and each of their childrens' milestones. The me that loved fresh air and exercise. The me that read voraciously, pursued learning because I loved it. The me that put pride and energy into refurbishing furniture, homes, planted huge gardens, canned and planned. Thrilied with a visit from relatives, and to relatives.Yep, that lady. She was so much fun. You might have liked her. Haven't seen her for about 3 years....and I miss her.

I know I have to move on. And I do. But I've changed, and not for the better. Oh no. But still, gotta make the best of life, such as it is. Do others feel this discombobulated? You know, I've never really talked with other stroke survivors. Maybe that's why every time I write a post it's 2 pages long. Maybe. JMJ. Blessings to all.