Cannot die in hospital even if you beg to.

@slkanowitz Have you contacted a hospice organization? Contrary to what some believe, anyone with a life-threatening diagnosis can qualify, and some people receive services for a couple of years.
They specialize in helping manage your pain and provide a lot of comfort care and supportive services - in your home, or in a care facility if that is where you reside.
Do you have anyone assisting you?

@slkanowitz Quite the conundrum to be placed in, that's for sure.

A few thoughts came to mind as I read your post. Like you, I have a DNR. That acronym is inscribed on the medical alert bracelet worn everyday. There is a copy of the POLST [Physician's Order for Life Sustaining Treatment] order in the glove box in my car, the original is where my husband can retrieve it. My entire medical team has a copy in their records, as does the hospital of my choice, part of the Advanced Directive packet on file.

Did the hospital have your DNR on file?
Ginger

Your post brings to mind my experience in May 2014. I got bacterial meningitis of my brain from chronic sinusitis. Since the anniversary is here again and my memory keeps improving about my hospitalization I resonate with you. I was in multi organ failure on a vent septic in a medically induced coma. I had no advanced directives at that time. My parents stepped in and told me later they told my doctors to keep coming with treatment. I was coded. A craniotomy was done to remove an access in my left temporal lobe. I had to relearn everything. Like you this became a spiritually transforming experience for me. I have ptsd. I have had a lot of therapy and still need it from time to time. I had a lot of outpatient medical treatment for 5 years after. I do believe my time here on earth was not and is not done. I do try to make this world a better place in anyway possible. I have a future with a brain injury group. These individuals traveled a path similar to mine. I do not handle the negativity and Pessimistic world views and news well at all. I am a retired nurse was RN so I view everything from the lens of my health background. However when I approach my end again I want to be let go. God bless you.

I want to second what Sue suggested about hospice. I helped both my mother-in-law and a close friend when they were in hospice and they got a lot of support and pain control. With hospice, you never have to go to the ER again. They can support you in dying but also can help you live in a much better manner and often even live longer. If hospice isn't right for you, do consider. Palliative Care which should give you pain control, access to visiting nurses and more. Were either hospice or palliative care suggested at the time of discharge? We can make choices for ourselves but it can take some planning. Do you have a primary family member or friend you can sit down with and discuss options? I was in the ICU for months as a very young woman and I saw that white light tunnel too! I don't know what it means, but the whole NDI certainly has informed my life for the last 50 years. Hoping you get the support you need.

My mother was in the final stages of lung cancer. The hospital insisted on discharging her to make way, presumably for patients who could be helped. She lived alone in her house and had it not been for me finding a palliative care facility, I don’t know how she would have managed her death on her own. Please folks, plan ahead, acknowledge your diagnosis and do what needs to be done for your terminal care. This would make life a lot easier for your remaining days and help your caregivers enormously.

As hard as these posts were for me to read I did take action. I survived bacterial meningitis of my brain 11 years ago. My health is good not perfect but I am a retired nurse was RN. The chaos in health care is awful. I function as my own advocate with my health care providers. So. I am changing my advance directives to make myself a DNR.

Thank you to everyone for the wake up call.

Another vote for hospice here.

My wife was home with me as sole caregiver for about six and a half years... dementia. When she was close to the end, I added hospice care at home and a DNR.

She died peacefully at home two months ago, over two or so days, with me and our daughter at her side watching out for her, and softly talking to her while she completed her final sleep on Earth -- with no signs of discomfort, agitation or pain.

Hope this helps. But NOT saying this was a "walk in the park"... because, of course, it doesn't alter the inevitable outcome... or erase the deep pain of our loss.

/LarryG

I was told you could refuse food & water until you die
even in the hospital. I think it also depends on the state
you live in.

What is the difference btw Hospice & Palliative Care?
And are both covered by insurance?
And do all states have both services? K