Body Image after mastectomy and reconstructive surgeries

Please don’t take your comment down. I am a couple of years out and I’m very grateful to have what I do, but it’s a change and a loss. At the same time, I have an affection and appreciation for my body that I never had before. I feel differently on different days. It’s complicated and that’s okay. It’s about being human — sharing that vulnerability can help a lot of other people, me included, so thank you!

@wews thank you so very much for the suggestion! I’m ordering it today.

I had a bilateral mastectomy March 2025, and then radiation. I had the tissue expanders in at that time. I had to wait one year June 2026 to have my implants put in. I was really happy thinking it was finally all over. 2 weeks later I was in emergency and the hospital for 5 days because one of them needed to come out because it was badly infected. My thinking was all over the place between wanting to go completely flat to trying again on that side. Only to find out that because that breast had radiation, the only way to do that was with skin graphs. I'm sick of all the surgeries, 4 so far. I almost died last time. Now I have totally accepted that I will have a implant on one side and a prosthetic on the other. Through all of this my husband has always said he was behind whatever I decided. This was hard on him too. I think each person goes through loss differently. Your husband might eventually come around, as the Doctor in the hospital said to me, "it's better than being dead".

What was/is the most strange to me is how long the whole process takes.

Friends and family pretty much acted like ending chemo and radiation (IV chemo, I still had a chemo pill to take for a year) was beating cancer. Each new Meal Train for surgeries garnered less and less support.

Reconstruction was the worst one of all, but I think people saw it as a "bonus" or an election. When I would explain the process in a simple way most friends saw me as lucky to get a tummy tuck, joking that they'd happily donate some belly fat.

They just didn't hear the part about an 8 hour surgery and a microscopic procedure to reconnect 3 main arteries back into my tissue. The 4 days in the hospital to make sure it worked. They didn't ever see the drains, or know about the 12 week lifting period where once again I could not hold my 8 month old son.

I hated my Deip Flapp and spent the first two years seriously regretting it, but now, six years out I am so, so happy I got it.

My husband also thought it was bad at the time, and it took us a long time to both heal. Maybe longer than most since we had to do the new parents thing along with the cancer thing. But now that our kid is going into first grade, and my body is all healed we are back to being sexual partners and it is really nice. Also, as a bonus, I can't feel a darn thing on my right boob so he has free reign over there, so I never have trouble getting too sensitive.

It's such a long journey, hang in there. So much of it just sucks, and for such a long time. We're with you.

Hi

I feel very badly about your body image distress and your husband not feeling interest following surgery and cancer. I can image how distressing and difficult this is.

I feel very similar concerns about potential added surgery. Scars and reconstruction and the pain issues are very difficult experiences . I feel similar worries about scarring impact on close and intimate relationships.

You have been through so much and have been so resilient!

Once I research guided imagery or other books etc, I will post.

I feel that meeting with a MSW or Psychologist to discuss the scarring and relationship concerns will be helpful for support and processing my concerns and worries. .

If you are Interested. Hospital MSW or Psychologist as an Option

If you are interested, your hospital should be able to refer you to a support group and hospital employed MSW or psychologist to process and help with distress or how to address the body image relationship issues. ( Thus should be covered by Insurance as it is surgery related)

Your resilience is inspiring me to proceed with MSW or Psychologist advisement and support.

Kind regards,

Susan

I feel very so sorry that you are going through such a vulnerable and difficult time. I can imagine how difficult your husband’s response is during your recuperation.

Your resilience and spirit is very inspiring.

I feel that RED DOOR Free programs were helpful to me following my surgery and radiatiin oncology therapy. If you are interested, RED DOOR offers on line Reikki , Chair Yoga and Support Groups.

Your hospital may offer Free MSW or psychologist advisement and counseling that may be helpful in coping and hopefully improving your husband’s response.

Best

Susan

Thank you