Bladder disconnected from urethra in bad accident

Posted by gabnatser @gabnatser, 17 hours ago

My husband was in a terrible accident. It’s day 13 in the ICU. Impact crushed his pelvis and ruptured his bladder displaced when crushed by two pieces of heavy equipment. His bladder was detached from urethra and they can’t or won’t finish surgery to efficiently fix his pelvis due to the large about of urine still in his bladder and in the cavity or space where urethra use to be connected.
They have a catheter in his bladder, put a second into the space below bladder to drain urine in order to have surgery/stabilize his pelvic bones.
13 days in ICU and still can’t figure out why the two catheters are collecting fluid after the kidneys each got a bag to drain into.
So many questions…. Anyone familiar with an injury like this?
Recommendations for doctors to see in the reconstruction of bladder once the bones are healed enough in the bladder? The urologist recommended a Dr Ben at ucsf.
How do they re attach the urethra?
They say it’s a 40% chance of ever having the ability to urinate regularly (without catheters) or getting a hard on /orgasming. Does this mean I can never make love to him again? Or the possibility…?
How do I get him the best care.
Chances of us getting to have kids are at 10%?!
I’m so devastated and mainly because the strong man that I love and feel like we just started our lives together may loose the character personality and drive to live without having his manhood function the way that men should…not to mentions most likely we will not get to have kids….

Advice ????

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vlbondon | @vlbondon | 16 hours ago

Sending you all the warmth and strength I have, and the same to your husband. It’s a horrific accident, of course, and things will undoubtedly be different in the future for one of you or most likely both of you dealing with the after effects. But I would like to suggest one thing, don’t focus on having children. it’s way too early for that. Your husband’s life may still be in danger, all sorts of infections can arise at any time and the best care is the focus at this point. If you trust a source, you got the recommendation for which looks like UCSF, then contact them now and start sending records to CITY if they are optimistic. You can also ask Urologist, perhaps MAYO CLINIC, Anderson, Cleveland, and see if they have a special department for this type of surgery and repair. You probably find all sorts of ratings and lists of the best surgeons for the area online, but it’s hard to know which ones are sponsored by someone who will benefit. You might try anyway you’re attitude right now is probably the best positive thing he can grab onto at this point, so get rid of the fear or at least expressing the fear, and give him your strong side, emphasize. He’ll get the best care you can find him, new surgeries develop every day, you look your best and sound your strongest and that will be his gift from you to start building his future right now. Don’t even mention children. Sucks. Take one step at a time because I’m sure that’s what the doctors do. It may be difficult for you but you can do it if you love this man as you say you do. I’m thinking you can end up having a long happy and successful productive marriage , after you find some resolution. Blessings, and some good luck!

gabnatser | @gabnatser | 5 hours ago

In reply to @vlbondon "Sending you all the warmth and strength I have, and the same to your husband. It’s..." + (show)

Thank you for all of that. The info and the advice. All the of the info is useful because I have never dealt with anything like this. Other than the accident we were both in and I got lucky in that the doctor was able to save and reconstruct my leg.
When you say sponsors..what do you mean? And sending the documents to CITY? I’ll have to look up these terms in context of medical procedures.
And do I just call the hospital and say I want to speak with the advice nurse or get in contact with the urology department? And then tell them the situation?
This sounds all dumb just asking, i just don’t know.
Thank you for your time and reminder to show up for him with no fear or sadness. That has caught me three times these last two weeks and I had to dismiss myself from his room because I just could not hold myself together.