Bilateral Mastectomy/Fear/Reconstrution

This is such stressful time, and I'm sorry you are going through it. I found the diagnostic period before treatment for my breast cancer to be the most difficult. I don't think you are in denial--you seem quite aware of the situation. Maybe you feel shocked? I think many of us do at first.
You can slow down a bit. Maybe a second opinion? I'm no doctor, but you might consult with a radiologist and see how useful radiation actually is. Some people can skip it for a lumpectomy and estrogen inhibitors (if appropriate). Also, I know from my own experience lumpectomy can even be done with a local anesthetic if the surgeon feels it will work. (I ended up not doing it but was glad to know of the option). I have a close friend with a mastectomy who can't have reconstruction until a blood clot issue resolves. She thought she'd feel horrible with the loss of the breast, but to her surprise she told me she feels fine waiting. Just to pass on someone else's ok experience.
You are dealing with so much at the same time. I think it will get easier to manage. Do you have a friend or family member to go to appointments. I found that very helpful. Will be thinking of you. I'm sure you'll get responses here. Check in any time.

Thank you Miriam for your kind, supportive thoughts. Yes, shocked is the right word...why did I think cancer could never happen to me? Especially with a life time diagnosis of dense breasts and lots and lots of microcalcifications. But my heart disease from my 40s was always my main focus and now unrelenting migraines from a concussion in 2019 too. Plus no one on either family side of my parents ever had cancer. But I know now having no immediate or even extended family member with cancer means nothing.
I am on my second opinion. Was thinking of a third but did that with my migraines, I must have seen at least 5 neurologists in the best hospitals all over the country and finally just decided to stay local. I am with a highly rated cancer center and have faith in them. Yes, I am always with my husband for all oncology appointments and my son, who lives states away from me, is on speaker phone. He takes notes, organizes it all for me to understand easily and emails them to me. I have several great friends who are very supportive but they are not or never been in my shoes. Sometimes I feel very lonely but having this feeling, I know, is not usual. There are so many unknowns at this point - waiting for surgery. Everything will depend on what is found in pathology. I don't feel I am making a mistake having the bilateral mastectomy. I want my lymph node(s) examined too and 3 lumpectomies (maybe 4, I had 4 biopsies all +) without lymph node dissection, I feel, is too risky for me. I only want to go through this once. Thanks again for your positive encouragement, kindly appreciated!

Radiation technology is getting more and more advanced to be targeted and minimize damage to surrounding healthy tissue. You stated you’re at a highly rated cancer center so hopefully they have the most state of the art technology. Ask.

I understand all the emotions and worries you’re going through. I agree with Miriam that the most stressful time is between diagnosis and the start of treatment. Like you, I had intense feelings of loneliness during this period. Things will get less stressful once you reach surgery day and start getting on the other side of this. I felt so relaxed and relieved the morning of my surgery. Progress had finally arrived. I had a double mastectomy at 54, went flat with no regrets. I understand all the emotions and worries you’re going through. I usually wear prosthetics when going out so clothes fit nicely. It’s just part of the outfit. Prayers for you.

You are more than welcome. I'm so glad to hear your husband and son are supporting you--it makes a huge difference to me to have my husband, daughter, and best friend involved. I call them my committee! But yes, other friends are limited just in terms of what they have been through. I think you are making a terrific strong start here.

Welcome to our little Breast Cancer world. It's actually a lot bigger than little.

I opted for a Bilateral Mastectomy January 23rd 2025, with nipple saving silicone implant reconstruction at the same time of surgery. I have triple negative stage 2a (tnbc) but it wouldn't have mattered to me... I say take em off (my boobs) and give me a new set (no grieving) . I felt totally fortunate that I was a candidate for this procedure. It will only happen once... no pun intended. I'm 64, with no other major health issues.

Pain happens and there's medicine for it. It doesn't last forever... maybe a week. The drains were pretty yucky, but once again it doesn't last forever and I knew I wasn't the first person in the world having to go thru' this. You'll discover numerous add ons to whatever treatment you end up with. Drains are just part of Mastectomy aftermath.

Your heart issues add a rough mixture into treatment possibilities. That's something only your Team can set forth. They may give you options. Treatment isn't without risk.... but going without treatment has a pretty grim prognosis.
Start now on a healthy diet. Do your Diet research. I quit red meat and alcohol right off the bat. I didn't do a lot of either, but zero was my findings for best. I wanted to start smoking pot (or eating edibles) because I heard of so many benefits.... and of course was filled with massive anxiety at first. Bummer for me, my research led me to finding THC doesn't help long term survival for tnbc (other cancers were different). Total bummer... soooo instead I walk a lot, breathe, and read, and research, and make appointments, and write out my questions... and find things to be thankful for....

I'm doing the AC-T treatment following my Mastectomy. It's going as good as can be expected.
It's been 5 months since my original diagnosis. I'm not so scared anymore. I ask questions based on the information I find. I've slowed down. I'm happy knowing I'm fighting my best fight... and you will be too. Be BRAVE... (you have no choice), Be STRONG (nutrition makes a difference).... Be Beautiful (because you are)...
I try to find Grace where none exists.... she keeps hiding... ha ha