At Wits End No Answers

Posted by mycausehelp @mycausehelp, Jul 17, 2022

1 year ago my husband weighed 176 lbs, today he weighs 138! He is 5' 10" 77 yrs old. August 2021 he had colonoscopy 9 polyps taken, then enterscopy with vessels cortrised. He had iron difficent anemia, put on iron pills, then had to have 5 iron infusions. He has had type 2 diabetes for years. For approx 4 years tremor in his right hand. He has had every test known to man and the doctors say all is fine now, A1C good, no anemia, all test good. In April he had Bells Palsy which is just now clearing up. He has lost muscle, and looks frail. Until a year ago he seemed fine. He has also lost some memory. I want him to be checked for Parkinson's, the doctors just say its his age! He has been active all his life, it is hard to watch this, and I do not believe the old age theory, I know something is wrong. I am scared and at wits end.

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Good morning (since it is 2:00 a.m. Welcome to Connect @mycausehelp. You and I have twin lives right now. My dear Jay is 75 and is also involved in some health battles. Today was typical…….he tried to work outside, but it was steamy hot, and humid. In addition, he has injured his ankle again and will be fitted for a brace on Monday. A pronated foot has been with him since he was born. Now as age arrives to complicate things he is a limper. He also has type 2 diabetes and has been in treatment for prostate cancer for several years. But oh, what a wonderful partner he is……. For a while, I thought he was just teasing me about not remembering. Now I know that cognitive decline is also something he is facing currently.

You are scared and justifiably. I don't quite know what to do……not every day but also as I look at the future for both of us. Can we take care of each other? Will we need to leave our home and the beautiful park-like property that he has worked on for 30 years? Tonight I took pictures of a bite or something on his hip that we will have to deal with in a few hours. I am facing surgery next week and he is supposed to be my caretaker for 3 days.

How can we help each other? Connect is a wonderful group of patients, caregivers and providers. We learn from each other by sharing just like you and I are doing. Soon you will see others popping in to say hello and tell you some "tips and tricks" that just might work for you and your husband.

Do you have family nearby? What do you do together….play cards? visit neighbors? share projects? If the truth be known, we train and play with chipmunks…….aka "Javier", "Sienna", "Avoo", and "Theo". They are characters.

Since knowledge is our power, I think you are wise to take the lead with the clinicians about Parkinsons? Does that condition exhibit itself in your husbands family? However, I want to make sure I don't jump ahead too far. Do you feel like you are worrying yourself a bit too much?

This is one discussion I will look forward to having……I hope you stay in touch.

May you have happiness and the causes of happiness.
Chris

A

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@mycausehelp I also add my welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect! It is still considered early morning here, just before 7AM. There is a slight breeze rustling leaves outside, it is a nice 60 degrees, a perfect day to get more work done on a joint project.

If your gut is telling you there is something going, follow up on that! You may need to redirect your medical care to a larger facility, a teaching hospital associated with a large university, or Mayo Clinic if you are "in the neighborhood" of Rochester [MN], Scottsdale [AZ], or Jacksonville [FL]. The sooner the better! I bet your husband is concerned, also, even if he is not saying so.

Keeping a written record of what you have seen for the changes, is very helpful to help track down what may be going on. If you haven't done that, take time now to write out what you can recall. Having that information at hand may speed things up for a diagnosis, and will help you both answer pointed questions. Having paper copies of lab results will be helpful also, in looking at trends in bloodwork.

Come and talk to us! We're here at all hours and offer support and our experiences! Will you do that, please?
Ginger

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I hope you persist. Every time one of the older people I knew was told that it was “just old age” it turned out to be something else. I think people know what is normal for them and what is not.

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I have discovered that doctors are really not treating their patients. They look at our blood panel and just try to guess what is wrong with you. How long has it been since anyone has had what used to be called a physical examination. The doctor actually saw you as a human being and looked, felt and touched you. They knew when something felt wrong and were able to do this. Now all they do is listen to your heart. You are lucky if you get 10 minutes. Insurance companies have greatly contributed to this problem. But we, the patients, have become victims. I just "fired" my current doctor. Am going to see a new one on August 3rd. Wish me luck.

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I’ll keep you in my prayers that you find answers

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Thank each one of you, God Bless you. In the past year we have been to every kind of specalists, and every test possible. He has a folder filled up with what has been done. He is now being scheduled for nuerolologist. His first cousin has Parkinson's and dementia in his close family. I have heart disease with stents, watched our son suffer and die in 2016, from years of insulin dependent diabetes, he was blind when he died, was 49, with wife, sons, and granddaughter. This disease destroyed every organ in his body. It is like I am watching my husband go down like my son, and nothing I can do. We have family in other states, and no where near Mayo Clinic. How can someone just a year ago go down so quick? In 2018 he was put in hospital and given 3 pints of blood, said his hemoglobin was that low. I am truly at wits end, I pray, as I believe in the power of prayer, as doctors just don't seem to be worried. We have been married 58 yrs, all our lives almost. I have to keep myself good, because I have to do things for him. Yes, I am paniced, he was always the strong one. I am so glad I found this site, just to vent helps, thank you all again so much.

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@gingerw

@mycausehelp I also add my welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect! It is still considered early morning here, just before 7AM. There is a slight breeze rustling leaves outside, it is a nice 60 degrees, a perfect day to get more work done on a joint project.

If your gut is telling you there is something going, follow up on that! You may need to redirect your medical care to a larger facility, a teaching hospital associated with a large university, or Mayo Clinic if you are "in the neighborhood" of Rochester [MN], Scottsdale [AZ], or Jacksonville [FL]. The sooner the better! I bet your husband is concerned, also, even if he is not saying so.

Keeping a written record of what you have seen for the changes, is very helpful to help track down what may be going on. If you haven't done that, take time now to write out what you can recall. Having that information at hand may speed things up for a diagnosis, and will help you both answer pointed questions. Having paper copies of lab results will be helpful also, in looking at trends in bloodwork.

Come and talk to us! We're here at all hours and offer support and our experiences! Will you do that, please?
Ginger

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Thank you for caring Ginger.

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In reply to @markdeegan "Statins?" + (show)
@markdeegan

Yes, he has taken Simvastin for years.

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