1. < Lung Cancer

Ashamed: I think about (and plan for) dying. Do you?

Posted by olgamarie @olgamarie, Feb 7, 2021

Hi, did anyone, after there cancer and COPD diagnosis start to think about dying? After almost four years, I still do, all the time. Planning my funeral, how to leave my children, how it will be to be in a coffin. Bizarre, I know.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Lung Cancer Support Group.

joe6767 | @joe6767 | Dec 23, 2022
In reply to @ta52 "I don't spend time planning my funeral; I spend time planning how my wife and I..." + (show)
@ta52

I don't spend time planning my funeral; I spend time planning how my wife and I are going to do a walking marathon together this Fall. This is a game of life and death and I choose life. I will do everything in my power and utilize every resource available to me to make sure cancer loses. There are millions of cancer survivors out there and I have every intention of being one myself.

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Im starting my chimo next week l got carcinoma in my write lung l got a lobectomie l got 16 treatment to do and l gone to fight to the end and try to win that cancer it’s true lots of people out there there ok
Thank you you make me feel better:)

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rudai | @rudai | Dec 22, 2022

Many believe you must embrace death to truly live. Funeral Consumer Alliance, FCA, a nonprofit, exists to help people reconcile issues surrounding death and funerals. Live 'till you die. It is a one way trip for all of us.

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doglover888 | @doglover888 | Dec 20, 2022
In reply to @ta52 "I don't spend time planning my funeral; I spend time planning how my wife and I..." + (show)
@ta52

I don't spend time planning my funeral; I spend time planning how my wife and I are going to do a walking marathon together this Fall. This is a game of life and death and I choose life. I will do everything in my power and utilize every resource available to me to make sure cancer loses. There are millions of cancer survivors out there and I have every intention of being one myself.

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Me too. I don't have time to mull around thinking about dying. Life goes on! Merry Christmas!

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Merry, Alumni Mentor | @merpreb | Dec 11, 2022
In reply to @freitag "I'm late to the discussion here, but I am so concerned about your fear after burial...." + (show)
@freitag

I'm late to the discussion here, but I am so concerned about your fear after burial.

You will be brain dead. There will be no synapses firing. Everything will be completely halted and it is impossible for you to be sentient in the coffin. You will experience no sensations.

Please speak to your medical caregivers about this for reassurance. Maybe see a neurologist for a very professional opinion.

Perhaps, if you are still uneasy, you could preplan to require that you be given an EEG in order to confirm brain death. If it would be allowed. A person who has your health care proxy may be able to insist on it.

Please take steps to ease your fear. I wouldn't be able to cope with that fear myself and would do everything I could to dispel it.

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Thank you so much for your deep concern. I am so sorry that my answer is so late. I don't often think of dying or even my own cancer. But when I do next, think about this I love your suggestion of an EEG after death. Very clever thinking!

Hopefully, by the time I need to get really serious about it, it won't bother me anymore.

Merry

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echo2022 | @echo2022 | Dec 10, 2022

Sometimes I was too scared and thought about death, but I've never planned it. I just thought I could have chance to choose how to die without too much pain and where I can achieve it. So, I support euthanasia. Hopefully, I could pass away like that.

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freitag | @freitag | Dec 7, 2022
In reply to @merpreb "@mamawnebel, All of your thoughts and fears are normal and expected when we think of our..." + (show)
@merpreb

@mamawnebel, All of your thoughts and fears are normal and expected when we think of our own death. It is one topic that surely is tough. But, how can we not think about it?

Thanatophobia is commonly known as the fear of death. It can be a fear of death or a fear of the dying process. It's natural for us to worry about their own health as they age, or when faced with serious illness.

When I first learned that I had lung cancer, back in the late "90s, I became consumed with thoughts of my dying, asking questions much like you are presenting here.

There are many mechanisms to help a person who suffers from a lack of oxygen at the end of their lives. The most commonly prescribed drugs include acetaminophen, haloperidol, lorazepam, morphine, and prochlorperazine, and atropine. My suggestion is to have a heart-to-heart chat with your doctor about your fears and find out what is done for any suffering at the end of life. And make sure that your end-of-life directives are very clear.to people who will be in charge of your care.

I have a DNR but this doesn't mean that I want to struggle or suffer. It just means not prolonging my life if there is no hope.

One of my biggest fears is after I'm buried and if there remain any sensations that I might feel. I squirm at the thought but it is very scary to me.

Do you have health directives?

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I'm late to the discussion here, but I am so concerned about your fear after burial.

You will be brain dead. There will be no synapses firing. Everything will be completely halted and it is impossible for you to be sentient in the coffin. You will experience no sensations.

Please speak to your medical caregivers about this for reassurance. Maybe see a neurologist for a very professional opinion.

Perhaps, if you are still uneasy, you could preplan to require that you be given an EEG in order to confirm brain death. If it would be allowed. A person who has your health care proxy may be able to insist on it.

Please take steps to ease your fear. I wouldn't be able to cope with that fear myself and would do everything I could to dispel it.

REPLY
1 reply
thisismarilynb | @thisismarilynb | Dec 6, 2022
In reply to @mimifeels "My mother was diagnosed with cancer and completely ignored it, and one year later she died...." + (show)
@mimifeels

My mother was diagnosed with cancer and completely ignored it, and one year later she died. She did not put any of her business in order and put me through hell with my step family. It is very considerate and caring of you to be thinking about these things and preparing. I am in my 40s and I am thinking and preparing even though statistically I have good chance of surviving my illness due to my age.

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At my age (88) I do think about dying. Actually today is one year after my hip replacement surgery. But that is not an illness and I am recovering. Aside from that I am not aware of any other illness. Nevertheless my husband and I made our plans years ago and we also purchased the services of The Neptune Society for cremation. So except for following our instructions there is nothing for our children to do. My feeling is that if you do not do these things while you can and are in your right mind, you must be extremely selfish.

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mimifeels | @mimifeels | Dec 6, 2022

My mother was diagnosed with cancer and completely ignored it, and one year later she died. She did not put any of her business in order and put me through hell with my step family. It is very considerate and caring of you to be thinking about these things and preparing. I am in my 40s and I am thinking and preparing even though statistically I have good chance of surviving my illness due to my age.

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1 reply
carsoncreek | @carsoncreek | Oct 25, 2022
In reply to @jp78 "Dying will eventually get all of us. I have lung cancer plus copd . I think..." + (show)
@jp78

Dying will eventually get all of us. I have lung cancer plus copd . I think about what its going to be like but don't dwell on it. I know the Lord will be there walking with me. I do have all my papers in order and what I want done. Got my stone, etc, will, DNR , and anything else. I went thru first losing my mom but at least dad was there, but when he died it was all left up to my sister and I. I was not going to have my girls make all those decisions and wonder if it would be what I would of wanted. Hugs and its all in Gods hands, one step at a time and enjoy your family.

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Hugs and prayers for you. Keeping a positive attitude, and relying on the Lord, makes everything the best! I love God with all my heart, my mind, and my soul. I wish I was a much better Christian, but I just try a little harder each day. Making people around me smile, laugh, and loving on them, makes me happy. No of us is promised tomorrow. I am working on paperwork, funeral plans, etc. Whether I need them tomorrow or 20 years from now. Each day is a precious gift.

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carsoncreek | @carsoncreek | Oct 25, 2022

I don't think it is bizarre at all. I find some comfort in planning for those things. It will take pressure off your loved ones to know exactly how you want things to go (or not go). I don't dwell on death. I did have a pity party for about 2 days (with myself), but I try to keep a positive attitude. I don't know that my diagnosis will result in premature death, but, hey, I could get in a car accident tomorrow! Anything can happen to us. I am on the fence, as to whether know ahead of time is better or not. But, even before being diagnosed, I was thinking about death plans, etc. My spouse hates it. LOL I don't want a lot of fuss or money spent. However, I decided that this year for Christmas, each of my Grandchildren will get one of my collectables, with a short letter telling about when I got it, from whom, and why I like it. Then, they can enjoy some decor now, that I have enjoyed having for years. And when my life is over, they have a little item that was mine, selected by me, for them. 🙂 I believe what you are experiencing and doing, is actually quite normal.

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