Ashamed: I think about (and plan for) dying. Do you?

Dear @waterboy The one thing that been a literal life-saver is Primatene Mist. The product is truly a gift from God how well it opens up everything. It is expensive..approx $30.00. Of course, you must be careful, but it's that way with everything.

Merry, I am just being honest. I have severe COPD...almost little cough (sporadic), no phlegm, mainly just shortness of breath with exertion. I have a wonderful pulmonologist, Dr Niven, at MAYO, Rochester. He has me on three nebs... Bravana x2, duoneb x4, Budesinde x2, arythamyacin tab x2, and albuteral as a rescue inhaler. I will be in Rochester 5/27... lung function test and a nitric oxide exhaler test. I just had cataract surgery both eyes. Along with my Alpha 1.

@waterboy- You sound just miserable. How can I help you? I also have COPD but from smoking and I have lung cancer and other things as well. Over the past 23 years since my first lung cancer, I have questioned and questioned life, what it means and how miserable I was. I agree, living that way was not living, it was just life. In your profile info, you said that you had moderate COPD. Are you having a problem with your COPD? Maybe need a stronger inhaler or other meds? Or are you just having a lousy day and wanted to vent?

Feelings being alive with COPD

To me it is being alive, NOT living, really. Living is being able to do things that you want and to be unencumbered to any great extent. I live in a caved in tunnel with no escape, knowing that my oxygen, and life will eventually run out... extended only by a daily routine of modern medicines and great doctors. Yes, I smoked and have Alpha 1,,, why aren't people checked earlier, instead of waiting for the diagnosis too late to change your path to death.

I have thought about dying many times in this cancer journey. It’s been almost 4 years for me as well, but my children are all grown and have family’s and they are Christian and so am I so I do not fear my death at all I embrace it knowing that I will be with Jesus and loved one that are with him now! Also I will see my Children and grandchildren as well! 🙏🙏🙏 that you can find comfort and peace.

Yes, I can do that. Being a 71 yr old male with severe COPD, Alpha one, ET's, an IPP for ED... and it seems almost every time I see a new Dr. they say "We can't cure it, but we can treat it", it brings out that question. I watched my over 90 yr old neighbor litterly wither away and die. I watched how he tried to do things he couldn't, and finally spent the most of his time sitting in his chair. THAT IS NOT LIVING (he loved working outside, or in the basement making things) that is adding one more day on earth and having life. I think of people on respirators that have almost zero chance of getting better.. that is why I wear a DNR bracelet. I don't want to die, nor would I take my own life, but at the same time, taking pills three four times a day, nebulizers four times a day, and having to wear an oxygen cannula to sleep begins to wear on you. Now I get to have cataract surgery in both eyes and get upper and lower dentures. I guess to put it to rest I would rather have 50 years of living, than 90 years of "LIFE."

@waterboy and @erikas There comes a time for most of us to think about death and life. I am 81, with many fatal disorders which could stop me at any moment. I think about death every day, but I am not afraid to die. When it comes, I will deal with it, assuming I can do anything about the next step.

@waterboy It's said that death is what brings life meaning. It sounds like you are in a good place.

@waterboy- Hello, and good morning. Would you like to expand on your thoughts concerning the meaning of life and what living means to you?

I think more of the meaning of LIFE, and Living,