Ashamed: I think about (and plan for) dying. Do you?

It does make sense, however I believe that our oncologist is looking for cancer as is the person who reads the CT results the other issues were on the CT but not mentioned since they were not related to cancer. I had an issue before with a pet scan it showed something but no one mentioned it until they compared it with the next pet scan. It’s absolutely exhausting having to not only check my results but my husbands. Every time we have blood work I have to make sure that all the tests are included. One time the Dr forgot to include his PSA I had to call and they had me mark the box. I am very proactive but what about the people that are not?

@jeanadair123- Thank you for this question, "How are we supposed to know these things?" I think that we have learned a lot from COVID- and that is to do our own research about our own diseases. But I think that we need to speak up to our doctors.

Within the past couple of years, I found out that the nodules that come and go in my lungs are considered cancer, not just the ones that were removed. I had no idea. I had trusted them to tell me everything. I was extremely upset and let my surgeon and my pulmonologist that they needed to assume that I knew nothing and let me know what was going on. I actually was crying, feeling very betrayed. But from now on, because you asked this question and mentioned your husband's problem, I'm going to ask, "what do you see next, what are you watching for, what might come up?" I read every report and look up every word in every report including CT scans, blood work, etc.

I don't think that we can any longer rely on our doctors to fill us in on everything so we have to take over as much control as possible, short of using a scalpel!

Perhaps you can say to your doctor and your husband's doctor that you would like to be informed of all appointments, all things that he is watching, etc. let him know that you weren't happy with being kept in the dark.

Does this make sense?

Same here. Other people notes in my file.
Makes me wonder what happened to the person that didn’t get there results?

I distrust doctors as well. They are too busy to take care of their patients. You have to be proactive and read the literature to ask questions. Mayo is the best (don't you ever try Ironwood, please), but still you have to read the Clinical Notes and Summary because sometimes you find descriptions that are not accurate.

I can't thank you enough for responding back to me and sharing the link with me. The extra information on the monks about them praying while they make the caskets and the other things about them was so interesting. I've heard for years how dedicated they are to their religion. I'm going to visit their website as soon as I finish my note to you. God bless you and I pray you are at peace with everything you have planned for you final arrangements. You've certainly done all the right things in my book and I hope I am able to do all you've done as well. I admire people like you. Thanks again so very much for sharing your information with me. It's so very kind of you. All the best to you and enjoy every good day you have..............Shirley 🙂

@mamawnebel
Here are some caskets for you to peruse.
My cousin passed recently and his cost nearly $4,000.
Happy hunting,
Jake

Contact them: https://trappistcaskets.com/. While the Trappists make their coffins with their hands, they pray for you. They have a sustainable forest where they get their wood. They also have urns, keepstakes; and variety. I paid my casket in full, I picked the simplest version, when you die those who survive you will contact the Trappists or the Funeral Home or the Cemetery can contact them to let the Trappists know you died. I already paid my Funeral Services and I am paying my lot at Queen of Heaven Catholic Cemetery (5 year plan). Check the Trappists website... what they do is wonderful. They follow the Benedictian rule: 'Ora et labora' (pray and work). Work out a payment plan if it is hard for you to pay..., they are monks. Let me know how it worked!

I wasn't aware that we could buy caskets outside of funeral homes. How can I get information on that? I know Pastor Billy Graham had his casket made by prisoners but I thought that was a very special request. I would love to know more. I still haven't decided on cremation or burial. Like you I want to have everything ready so I won't be a burden to my family. Good for you to do that. 🙂

We don’t have any children so I paid to go through the neptune society knowing if I died first it would be easier for my husband. We both have had cancer 3 times, my husband hardly ever mentions his except some pains from the radiation. I however think of it how can you not? They missed two of my cancers, I went to 4 doctors before one would use a Speculum if I hadn’t have been so persistent I would have been dead by now, they said because I only had 1% chance of recurrence they didn’t use one. Of course one worries every time you have a scan and you have to wait for the results. Recently it came to my attention that our oncologist only reads the CT report and doesn’t look at the actual scan. My husband had an appointment with his carotid artery surgeon he actually looked at the scan and said my husband has had an Aneurysm they are watching and a little Pneumonia. We had no idea he has him scheduled to see a pulmonologist. How are we supposed to know these things. I always read our reports but I have such a lack of trust in doctors so I have to be so proactive.

I don’t think planning your own funeral is something to be ashamed to do. Instead, I think you are doing a very considerate and thoughtful thing for your loved ones. They will be overwhelmed with grief. If you’ve made pre-arrangements with a funeral home, you have taken a HUGE burden off their shoulders !