Ashamed: I think about (and plan for) dying. Do you?

Posted by olgamarie @olgamarie, Feb 7, 2021

Hi, did anyone, after there cancer and COPD diagnosis start to think about dying? After almost four years, I still do, all the time. Planning my funeral, how to leave my children, how it will be to be in a coffin. Bizarre, I know.

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thisismarilynb | @thisismarilynb | May 2, 2022

It absolutely is not bizarre. Before I retired I worked for a probate and trust attorney for 23 years. I saw first-hand how devastating it can be for the survivors when no final plans are in place for their deceased loved one. I told my husband that was not going to happen to us. We will all die sometime, so be ready. That's what we did. Researched and chose. We made the plans and paid for it. A few months ago my husband died. I am still a wreck, but deciding what to do while I was numb with grief was not something I had to deal with. I think people are too superstitious. You will not die just because you have made your plans.

SJones55 | @sjones55 | Mar 17, 2022

In reply to @kathrynmc "Well said! Praying for the best outcome with your Surgery! Kathryn" + (show)

Thank you, Kathryn!

Kathryn M. Carroll | @kathrynmc | Mar 16, 2022

In reply to @sjones55 "After dealing with 'monitoring' a lump they said wasn't cancer (after biopsies) for over 2 years,..." + (show)

Well said!

Praying for the best outcome with your Surgery! Kathryn

SJones55 | @sjones55 | Mar 16, 2022

In reply to @gingerw "@sjones55 Welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect. I am glad you found us, even though it is..." + (show)

Thanks, Ginger. I'll try my best to get back to you soon as I'm able. Blessings!

Ginger, Volunteer Mentor | @gingerw | Mar 15, 2022

In reply to @sjones55 "After dealing with 'monitoring' a lump they said wasn't cancer (after biopsies) for over 2 years,..." + (show)

@sjones55 Welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect. I am glad you found us, even though it is perhaps less-than-stellar circumstances, for the moment. You have a lot on your plate the next few days, but I wanted to let you know I will be thinking about you. And hope you will let me know how the surgery turns out for you, okay?
Ginger

SJones55 | @sjones55 | Mar 15, 2022

After dealing with 'monitoring' a lump they said wasn't cancer (after biopsies) for over 2 years, my pulmonologist's assistant 'felt' that I needed to see a surgeon - who sent me for more biopsies. Turns out it was cancer after all - or so they say. I'm scheduled for surgery March 18th. I took care of some business so that my husband wouldn't have to and made pre-arrangements at the Funeral Home. I don't see anything wrong about that. However, I fully intend to recover and won't live in dread or fear. But, I'm 67 - and ready to go when my time's up, but my goal is to live to the fullest every day that I'm given. (It may be different for younger patients.) Just be encouraged that you're alive and life is generally good. Be good to people you love and do good things that you're proud of. Do what makes you happy and live your life. It's too short to spend it in fear. All the best to you.

erv58 | @erv58 | Feb 26, 2022

Yes I think about dying especially when I was first diagnosed with lung cancer. But now that it has been over 4 years and I’m still alive I don’t think about dying as much as living my best life that I can. Did I get my funeral arrangements ready yes I did I don’t want to put the burden on my children and husband. So I’m at peace with it all. I need to write a letter that is a great idea.

Merry, Alumni Mentor | @merpreb | Feb 23, 2022

In reply to @richcolleen "🙏🏻" + (show)

Hi- To answer your question, yes, I think about dying. I think that we are set up as humans to think about it. Religions, customs, rites, etc all condition us to. Don't you think?