Ashamed: I think about (and plan for) dying. Do you?

Absolutely. Because I also have PTSD, I've had a counselor ever since my cancer diagnosis. She's encouraged me to think about and plan for dying including an advance directive. It was very hard to plan this stuff, lots of tears, but now that it's done, I don't obsess about it except to worry what will happen to my pets. Because I was initially diagnosed as stage 4 and given 3 to 4 months to live without the chemo, it's been on my mind a lot all these years, but I really just think and plan about one month ahead. That's all I can handle.

This may sound weird, but what I've found helps is to schedule time to dwell on these things. As thoughts/topics/worries come up, I jot them down in a notebook. Then, at the time I've set aside for "end of life thinking," I pull out the notebook and address the things that have been worrying me. That way, I'm not ignoring those thoughts, but I'm not letting them dominate each day, either

This link will take you to a free booklet you can download and use. It covers legal things like a Living Will, Durable medical and financial powers attorney.
https://www.fivewishes.org/for-myself/
As far as planning a cremation or funeral, select the local funeral home you like. If you want to prepay or make payments, make an appointment to discuss a burial policy. The policies are written through long standing insurance companies so your plan is safe. They will help you with everything from arranging pick up for the funeral home to selecting music, poems, scripture, flowers, anything else you associate with a service. It will be written in a contract that you may amend. I did this in 2010, and they can't charge my family any more money.

If you choose burial, visit local cemeteries, look at plots available. Select the one you best imagine your family coming to visit.

When you have done this, you will find a huge weight is lifted then you can go live your best life whether it's 25 years or 25 weeks. Put the dying stuff behind you and make memories to last your lifetime and the lifetime of your adult child.

@mssewest My sympathy in finding out this recent diagnosis. I know your life has changed, and now there are priorities in place that you may have never considered.

Go to you cancer center and ask for the social worker and patient advocate there. They will have information for you. And help guide you along and support you in choosing what decisions to make. You will find them very compassionate.

When I was diagnosed in 2015 with an ultra-rare kidney disease, I did just what you are thinking of doing. It surely eased my mind. First thing was to consider my family and friends, and choose someone [or two] to be my health care advocate and power of attorney, in case I was unable to make decisions for myself. Please let me know if I can be of help.
Ginger

I am 56 years old recently diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer in which has been found to have spread to the brain through CT/MRI. I think about dying a lot. I am a single parent of (1 adult) a 33year old and don’t know where or how to begin to get my affairs in order, funeral arrangements, where to be buried etc.
Any suggestions?

Not so bizarre Olga. Death will come for us all at some point. There have been many nights that I feared I’d not make it through, especially when I contracted RSV. I thank God for each and every day of life and I stay prepared for when that day comes. My funeral is prearranged/ paid, my will is up to date and I have prepared a document for my wife to help her with details once I’m gone.

@denzie I did the same in 2015. Since then I have moved to another state, but the prepaid plan was transferred here. There is peace of mind in knowing you have a hand/some control in what to do!
Ginger

This should be normal. Anyone who has a child, anyone who has a cancer, everyone should have notes about their final wishes, even healthy people, and let the family know where to find the instructions.

My durable medical and financial manically powers of attorney are taken care of as well. My family know that I do not want extraordinary treatment when my time comes. My DNR is on file with me hospital.

My mom's m did this with her lung cancer diagnosis. It saves so many arguments and much acrimony. When first diagnosed with my lung cancer, I paid for my cremation and planned what I want at my service. I selected the music and the poetry as well as the urn and some flowers. Best part of this is that the policy is with an established company and it's all paid for at 2010 prices.

oops sticking (freudian slip?)

To me that is a normal feeling. I have spent the last two years getting everything in shape for my time. To do otherwise is like stinking one's head in the sand