Appropriate Cards and Gifts

Posted by ldrlaw @ldrlaw, Jul 11 11:16am

My grandfather, sister and cousin all were diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Now another cousin has just been diagnosed and a luncheon for all of the women cousins is being set up. My question is, and I'd especially appreciate comments from those who are challenged by PC, do you have any suggestions re appropriate comments, cards and gifts?

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Myak | @janet23 | Jul 15 10:36am

A dear friend when I was a young mom was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer at age 40.
I always made time for her in my life when other friends faded away, especially after her disease advanced.

On the days when she felt well, I would take her out to her favorite Japanese restaurants, tea, or ice cream. We would drive to beautiful local parks for a picnic lunch, or take walk with me pushing her in her wheelchair. The fresh air and getting out of the house helped her spirit. We would laugh and remember shared times together.

When she was in treatment and not feeling well, I would go to her house to do laundry, clean, cook, shop for groceries, run errands, or simply sit and talk to her children, or other family members.

The gift of your time, love, and support can be the best gift of all.

samclembeau | @samclembeau | Jul 25 3:50pm

Don't waste your money on trinkets/blankets/t-shirt ... that say "you are stronger than you think, etc. "
Don't even know what to do with them.
"Thinking of you" cards are nice to receive.
Let them know you haven't forgotten them as if they are already gone.
You might say something like "will give you space for now, but when you are well we will...."
It's positive thoughts that helped me the most.

lisn | @lisn | Aug 3 9:34am

What I have found to be the most practical are gift cards or money. We have friends who are dealing with some issues right now and we gave them a gift card to a local place where they can pick up ready made meals or do their shopping there. Another thing that was so helpful to us was that my family paid for our car service travel to the city for my husband's surgery. I've also found that gas cards and supermarket cards are a welcome gift. Additionally, the cost of prescriptions are such a burden , so I would think that money towards that would very helpful. When we returned home from my husband's surgery, my friends went food shopping for us and just showed up with bags full of groceries - that was the best thing! And then through chemo, they'd drop stuff off when they were thinking about us. I've done that now for other friends. I think it's most helpful to just show up or reach out and say "I'm at the store, tell me what I can pick up for you. If you say nothing, I'm still going to get you something, even if it's flowers, fruit, paper towels, bread, etc so give me SOMETHING that you need or want to add to this" 😘